I don't mean any offence to you with this, but it is interesting to see how much perspective we get from having been to different places and/or different weights in our lives.

I have always though that I would be able to appreciate being 200 lbs like NO ONE would ever be able to appreciate it who hadn't been over 300 in the lives. While I still think this is true, seeing these thoughts from your perspective, makes me realize that the number on the scale doesn't mean much in the big scheme of things, its what going on inside your head that really counts.

If you want to hate yourself, you can do it just as effectively at 120 as 320 I think, you might be able to pretend that the reason for the self hatred is different, but in the end, you will still do it. The problem is not the weight, it is what is causing the weight in the first place. You have to deal with that before you can deal with anything else.

I remember watching Oprah one time, perhaps others saw this show. It was about a family who seemed torn apart because of the husband/father's drinking problem. Everything was screwed up in this family, and all was blamed on the drinking problem. So low and behold, daddy quits drinking, just like that, and ....so you would think...problem solved, right. WRONG!!! Instead, wife figures out that she's been a little screwed up all along too! And sure enough, their marriage and family life is still suffering despite the fact that the PROBLEM is gone. What they realized was that the drinking was just a convenient excuse to hang on the problems that they ever had on. Whenever anything went wrong, it was "blame it on the drinking". But there will still problems when the drinking was gone. So how do you explain that, except to say that you can remove a symptom, but still have the sickness, know what I mean?

You can lose it all, be all Pamela Anderson, if your life sucks from the inside out, it will still suck.

Permit me to share a little joke I heard once:

3 guys are stranded on a dessert island, bottle washes up and genie pops out and offers them one wish each.

First guy wishes he was sitting in the french riviera with a beautiful woman, and "poof" he is gone.

Second guy wishes he was home with his family, sitting around the fireplace telling stories, and "poof" he is gone too.

Third guy gets his turn, looks around and says, "I'm feeling a little lonlely since those other guys left, I wish they were back here...."

Anyway, point of the joke is, you can't make yourself happy from the outside IN. Just like the third guy has tried to do, problem is not really solved. Has to be the other way around. Start thinking about fixing that problem. Low carbing can be a good morale booster as it makes you feel healthier and more energetic, don't give up on the low carbing, but don't hang your last dollar on it either.

Mari