Quote:
|
Originally Posted by kathleen24
And you how different it feels, if you've had your weight down, to just be able to pass as normal, to not cringe away from yourself in a mirror, to like getting dressed, to hop out of bed in the morning? To not hurt when you walk? To go up a set of stairs without hauling oneself up the railing? All things that most people take for granted, but we don't, because we know? It's living in the promised land. I have a lot of good memories of being at a lower weight.
When overeating & overweight, those memories bring more pain than pleasure, because they feel so unreachable and unobtainable. I don't know about others, but I tuck those memories away with the clothes that don't fit, and move on.
But the other day, I realized that if I keep doing what I'm doing, and keep losing weight, then it's just a matter of time until I feel that way again.
And it gave me a warm feeling to realize that I was moving back towards that order of circumstances--I felt happy, just a quiet, glowing recognition almost--like knowing that soon you will be seeing someone you love after a long separation, or will be returning to a place that feels like home.
And the thought came to me that I, in fact, AM moving back towards that--it's just a matter of time now. And just like the feeling when you know that a reunion or a return is going to happen, that someone you love is about to walk in the door, and you just keep on doing what you need to do to be ready for it, I felt peace about the timing, and found myself appreciating just being in a state of anticipation.
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by kathleen24
"Faith is the substance of things hoped for."
I brought my flower baskets in today because we're getting a hard frost tonight. And I thought, "When I hang these up in the spring, I will be slender again." Before I go to bed tonight, I will think of that, and sleep with that picture in my mind.
|
Just found this thread, like unpacking a treasure from an old trunk, and having memories spill out.
I want to say, and hope that I can encourage others starting (or re-starting) on this journey to think of it this way to, that I appreciate the courage that I showed back then. Without that, I would not be here today.
I am posting this, so to speak, from the other side of the looking glass. Sometimes I stand in that same spot in the kitchen, and feel as if I am sending hope through time, back to myself then. (That all sounds very strange, I'm sure.) My flower baskets are blooming wildly now, and while I would not describe myself as slender yet, from the perspective that I was at then, I would have given the moon to feel and move and look as I do now.
This part:
And you how different it feels, if you've had your weight down, to just be able to pass as normal, to not cringe away from yourself in a mirror, to like getting dressed, to hop out of bed in the morning? To not hurt when you walk? To go up a set of stairs without hauling oneself up the railing? All things that most people take for granted, but we don't, because we know? It's living in the promised land.
Just want to mention that I take none of it for granted. Not a day goes by when I don't cherish how this feels, and appreciate the work and time and above all that hopeful act of trust that went into getting me here. Cynicism and giving up are easier. Feel safer. But there really is gold in those hills, fairies under the flowers in the garden. A reason to hope.
Treble hooks into the future. Throw it and pull yourself towards whom you wish to be. Just do today. That's it.
Hope works. Faith is an essential ingredient. Everyday, garden-variety miracles are available, but they come in kit form. You, too, can assemble yours at home using common tools. Lift your ear to the wind, and you will be able to hear yourself whispering hope and possibilities and . . .