If I'm not hopeless--then NO ONE is hopeless!!! You really can do it! As Vel just said, if you keep to the 1 hr. limit, and keep your cm's clean--you will teach yourself how to eat properly, over time. It won't happen overnight--but then it doesn't happen overnight for anyone, I think. Have you tried just committing yourself to this day only--and then doing it again tomorrow, etc. etc.? Maybe it just seems too overwhelming for you to look at the big picture, right now.
We're all pulling for you, and KNOW that if we can do it--you CAN do it, too!
All the best to you..