Originally Posted by tess9132

I guess I'm what most people would call a permissive parent. I have very few rules in my house from the time kids join our family. First, treat others how you'd like to be treated (and apologize when you don't do that). There are a few other rules, but they change as the kids get older. For little kids, there are three basic rules: The only thing we draw on is paper, it's ok to make a mess but you have to clean it up, and we try to keep the indoor volume to a noise level mommy can tolerate. Now that my youngest is 12, the rules are more like expectations. I expect them to get their schoolwork done and get the best grades they're able. And the only outright stated rule at middle and high school age: They must participate in an aerobic sport at least 2 seasons every year.

As far as food goes, I have never forced my kids to eat anything and I basically let them eat whatever they wanted. I've always kept what I felt at the time were healthy choices in my home. But if they wanted chicken nuggets for breakfast and scrambled eggs for dinner, that's what they had. I tried to educate them into healthy eating. e.g. "Too many cookies will make you feel sick." The only time I'd restrict a treat is when I felt they weren't leaving enough for Daddy or a sibling who wasn't home at the time (still do that today). If I felt they were eating too many cookies, I just wouldn't buy them for a week or two. All my kids learned to moderate junk food before Kindergarten. Even the ones adopted from foster care, including the one who came to us with food hoarding issues. Beyond moderation, they recognize that sometimes there's no such thing as 1 cookie, so they'll pass on the 1, knowing it could lead to 50.

I know a lot of people were raised to eat what they were served, but I wasn't raised that way. If we didn't like what mom was making (boiled chicken and boiled vegetables most nights), you could always make yourself a bowl of generic Cheerios. By the time we were in 6th or 7th grade, mom just assumed we weren't eating boiled chicken and she'd stop buying it for us as soon as she noticed we were more inclined to make a grilled cheese or a can of soup. Only two of us ever got fat. Myself and one of my sisters. And we didn't get fat until our 30's after we'd had children. And I blame my former obese state not on my food-permissive upbringing or any deeply held psychological food issues, but on a perfect storm of difficult pregnancies and the Food Pyramid. I tried to only eat when I was hungry, but of course, following the Food Pyramid, I was hungry all the time.

My 22 year old daughter is very self-disciplined. Her diet reflects that. She lives on meat, vegetables, olive oil, and the occasional protein bar. She mostly eats within a 6 hour window. She exercises daily and will occasionally treat herself to chocolate or sugar. My boys (ages 12 to 21) are more relaxed about everything, including their eating, but I will hear them say things to each other like "too many carbs" when one of them suggests walking to Wawa to get a milkshake, or "Ugh! I ate too many carbs! I feel disgusting." My guess is their carb intake is under 100 grams on a typical day. Meanwhile, my 12 year old has recognized that sugar exacerbates his asthma and now orders water (as opposed to Sprite) at a restaurant.

Anyway, I see a lot of people here think controlling what our kids eat is the key to battling childhood obesity. I try very hard not to let my children feel they're being controlled, other than controlling what food I bring into my house. But beyond that, it's on them. They're all old enough now to earn their own money, and if they wanted to blow their money on junk food, I'd let them. But they don't. They mostly eat the food mom buys, although the boys will take a run up to Chick Fil-A with some frequency. I guess I'm babbling, but I just wanted to put it out there that there's another way to raise kids with regards to food choices that doesn't equal obese kids. And if my siblings and I and my kids in their 20's are any indicators, it doesn't equal obese adults.