So, I was doing great.

Started back on Atkins Nov. 1 2018. I've done it: No longer overweight. At the beginning of the year, I was looking to STOP losing, and maintain my weight.

I could also look in the mirror and see how out of shape I was. ("You diet to lose weight. You exercise to look good naked.") Life-changes the past year made it hard to work out, and, for example, you can really SEE my utter lack of glutes, now that it's not camoflaged by excess body-fat.

I was hovering around 160 -- a very healthy weight for me -- determined not to go below. (This took some vigilance.)

Then, I took a job at an Amazon warehouse. And 3 days later, my daughter displayed "COVID-19-like symptoms" (Cough, and fever). While I don't beleive it was the virus, we had to go into 2 weeks of hard quarantine, before I could return to work.

This meant I was home all day -- something that hasn't happened in a year. So instead of eating 1 meal/day, like I had been, I found myself eating more. And, twice, cheating.

So I went from 160 up to almost 170, pretty much overnight. (Literally.)

That's OK... Aside from those two cheats, I'm still on-plan. If I eat on plan, the fat falls away. (For me, staying on-plan = drastically reduced hunger.... hence the one-meal-per-day place I was at.)

Then, I went back to work.

Did I mention I was out of shape?

Did I mention that I'm pushing 50, and Amazon is very PHYSICAL labor? Lifting stuff, often over my head, all day long. I get home bruised and sore. (I laugh at the bruises... looks like someone's beating me up on the regular, but it's just from handling the boxes. When I was in my 20s, working in dining halls at the local university, I was always bruised and thought I was just clumsy. Now, I understand why. Shins, knees, and arms... Yup, it's just the job.)

So... sore muscles = weight gain, because sore muscles = WATER in those muscles. Kind of like how I gain weight when my bad knee flares and swells: Makes my scale useless for a bit, and thus is frustrating, but doesn't mean I'm not on-track.

But the other part is that lots of hard manual-labor means I'm STARVING when I get off-shift.

So, instead of my past year, which has looked like getting home from a day of work, cooking dinner for my daugher, and maybe having some myself, maybe just having a handful of almonds... I come home, immediately starving. The other day, I wolfed down all 10 leftover meatballs (I usually eat 3, maybe 4 in a sitting), WITH cheese melted on top, and then went looking for more food. (Remember that I ate another meal's-worth, but don't remember what it was.) That's at around 11. And then, around 3, I make dinner, and usually eat that, too.

YES, my body needs fuel to a.) meet the new demands on it, and b.) build muscle, which weighs more than fat, so my over-all body weight may rise.

I know this.

And I'm working hard at finding when "hunger" is really a craving. (Salt is a biggie, given how much I sweat at work.) And drinking TONS of water.

I know all of this.

Doesn't make me less frustrated with my current state of flux.

Eh, as long as I don't cross that 170-line again, I'll consider myself good. **

I just hate that I so many things are coming together at once, to blur that line.

[**at 5'9", keeping my weight below 169.9 gives me a "normal" BMI, which makes it much easier to deal with health-care providers. I haven't been in this range in 20+ years, so having landed here, I want to stay here, and not creep over.]