Thanks. Sounds like your "dh" could do with a good slap round the face from time to time. Sorry you have had to endure him projecting his own insecurities and guilt onto you, and that your mother has for a long time made you feel an embarrassment to her. You have clearly had to tolerate a lot over the years from people close and dear to you who have been more concerned about how they are seen by other people than by how insecure and rejected their behaviour has made you feel.