Liz,

I understand, really I do. The number on that d$#&*d scale can make the difference between a marvelous day and a wretched one for all of us, and especially for those of us who have so far to go. I personally have so far to go that I can't even think about it -- it's too depressing and overwhelming, and I start thinking I'm never going to make it and what's the use anyway -- you know the drill. (And I, of course, know that it is worth it and I will make it. It just sometimes doesn't quite feel that way.)

I've read your journal, and I very much admire your "exercise ethic." I wish I could do what you do, but right now - at my weight and with congestive heart failure -- walking is a tremendous challenge. I need to stop and sit down very frequently, and it's difficult to do that on the street! So I've been working with the weight machines at the gym (which for the most part I can use sitting down), and walking around the basketball court, which has benches. It's hideously embarassing to be in this kind of shape, but so far everyone has been tremendously kind and encouraging, and I'm hoping that over time I can build some strength, and get to where I can walk again like a normal person.

PWW -

I have a question for you. One of the machines they have me using is supposed to exercise the hamstring. You stand on a little platform and pull the weight with the opposite foot, and I find that balancing on my right leg is wretchedly painful to my right knee. Leaves it sore (even to the touch) and makes walking around or getting out of chairs difficult for the rest of the day, but the pain has generally subsided by the following day. Should I just keep gritting my teeth and dealing with this, or could I be doing something wrong? I haven't said anything about it to the trainer because I figure I'm enough of a drag to work with without complaining. (Strangely, I don't have this problem with the other knee.) I'd appreciate any advice you might have.

--Ruth