HI and Good Morning

You and I find ourselves in similar circumstances. You see DH lives away from me, because of a work contract, for almost 6 months out of the year. Because we met a bit later in life (and his ex got all the $ in the divorce) we don't have a lot of $/savings for retirement so when he was offered a 3-year, 6-month contract we knew that this was a rare opportunity to make some badly needed $ for our retirement.
When he first left I wandered around our place like a lonely cat but eventually I got myself into a routine and took night school courses and took yoga in the evenings etc. and on the weekends I planned shopping trips and lunches etc. so I wasn't moping around the house. DH is very self-sufficient so he was able to make the transition from us being together to us living alone for a period of time. Once a month I would fly over for an extended weekend and spend some time together. But what I found was that we each got into our little routines (i.e. I do not cook the same way for me as I do when he's home; I go out of the house in the evenings to night school and/or exercise whereas he hates going out in the evening) and I found it a big adjustment having him home again after being gone for 6-months. We are hoping at the end of his 3rd year, we can retire - altho we have not decided if we can afford to remain on the west coast or if we should head back east. My being alone and having time for just "me" made me almost selfish with my time. I find while I miss him, living separately brought out our differences and we had to learn to live as one again - this was quite a revelation to me as I've always been half of a couple.

I too am determined to go down fighting. I always thought I'd accept "growing older" with grace and acceptance but I HATE it - my brain still feels young and lively but it's the old body that cannot keep up, which I find frustrating.

However, I did receive a nice compliment on Saturday. I did a "stand in front of the mirror naked" before I got dressed and of course, I found "things" I wasn't happy about - don't we all - are we not our own worst critics! So off DH and I head to do some errands. While I was shopping a total stranger (lady) came up and said to me, totally out of the blue "you look fantastic, it is obvious you take very good care of yourself and you have pride in the way you look". I am sure I did the "Duh" and my mouth hung open. However I did manage to say "thank you, you just made my day, possibly even my year" - she laughed and said "I wouldn't have complimented you if it hadn't been true" then she walked away. My DH and daughters often comment that I am too hard on myself and not accepting enough (of me) and it just goes to show that both that stranger-lady and I looked at the same image and we both saw entirely different images. It goes to show how squed our image can be of ourselves and how criticial we can be without even knowing we're doing it. I am going to try and eliminate any negative self-talk because it is a bad habit I really need to break when relating to me!

This is way to long a reply - but can you relate?