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Old Tue, Feb-19-02, 19:36
Erin4980's Avatar
Erin4980 Erin4980 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 563
 
Plan: Atkins/ Protein Power
Stats: 173/140/140 Female 69.5
BF:2ndX w/ Atkins
Progress: 100%
Location: Memphis, TN
Default I think what I hate is thinking that I'm fat....

Obviously I hated being fat, but now at this weight, I think about the last time I was this weight, which was 4 years ago. I think I look great now (with minor improvements still necessary), however, four years ago I thought I was fat...trying slimfast or whatever else I could get my hands on.

I hate what the concept of "being fat" does to me. I hate how it dictates so much - to what I wear, where I'll go, and how I even just walk down the street.

It's funny how many thin people think they're fat. I know I shouldn't care what others think but, I know some of my boyfriend's friends still think that I'm this big fat girl, despite the fact that I'm a size 6. I know to a certain extent being fat is relative. I don't want to blame too much on magazines or society, but I sometimes wonder how much they have affected me. Have you guys noticed there have been a lot more healthier looking models coming out recently (even Kate Moss packed on a few), well although I aprreciate it, I can't stand it. I'm critical of them for not being stick thin - it's like I expect it.

I don't have a eating disorder, but I'm definitely a bit obsessive about weight, I was even in highschool. However, my point is that yes, I hate being fat, but moreover I hate the concept, even the word, b/c of all the things it implies - things that are not true. I hate how it has been imbeded in my mind. I can't believe that for hte rest of my life, I will be conscious of something to meaningless when it comes down to it (besides the health factor, but you don't have to be thin to be healthy).

I've recently read some threads discussing vanity vs. love you stretch marks...and I can't figure out, which one is right? Is vanity always a bad thing? I guess all that should matter is that we're healthy, but then why does fat, even on a small scale, means so much...maybe I should ask why it means so much to me, despite the pressure of the world around me...

Sorry I may not have answered this thread the way everyone else has...and may nore have answered this at all. It's just that I never realized all the changes that were going to occur, in every spectrum of my life, while I lost weight. I have so many new things to look at now (how "friends" handled it, how I preceive myself, etc).

Thanks for listening (I guess reading in this case),
Erin
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