Thu, Nov-18-10, 22:36
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Senior Member
Posts: 1,798
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Plan: JUDDD 4/30/2012
Stats: 154/141/135
BF:
Progress: 68%
Location: Tucson
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by missaec
I've lost about 56lbs now. So you'd think that'd make my husband happy, right? No. I gained all this weight between two pregnancies. The first pregnancy I lost as it was a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. I was really depressed between the two pregnancies because of that (About 6 months) and that's how I gained so much weight, really. Anyhow, now I'm about 12lbs from what I weighed when we got married.
So my husband and I don't really have sex anymore. We never really did it much in the first place, but now it's like maybe once every 2-3 months. He told me the other night that "a significant reason" why he doesn't have sex with me is my weight and that he's not attracted to me. That was upsetting. I asked him what about the weight I was at when we started dating (I was 166, but a size 8) and he said he felt I was actually overweight then too and not all that attractive. Last week he actually turned on the tv and pointed out women that I need to aspire to look like since I'm losing weight anyway.
This is absolutely killing my self esteem. I don't really know how to even put it into words because it's so upsetting for me. I just don't have the words for it.
I just don't know how to deal with this.
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Your husband is being emotionally abusive toward you. Period. This is not normal, and unacceptable! What is important is a mutually respectful relationship between two people. I lived for 18 years like you are living now. It started out "harmless" enough and then over the years intensified. It is really particularly difficult having children, and exposing them to this kind of environment, because eventually the children also will bear the brunt of his emotional abuse. My eventual aaahh-hah moment was when I realized if I had a girlfriend who treated me like this, I would tell her to f*#k off. And then we would no longer be friends. Do not let this man poison your mind against yourself. There are indeed people out in the world who will respect you and accept you totally for who you are. Surround yourself with those people. Life is too short not to. I do soooo feel your sadness, and warm thoughts are being sent your way... |