I know exactly how you fee!! I am only 33, but I feel like I have been consumed with food for the past 10 years straight. Whether it was Weight Watchers, Suzanne Somers, or eating whatever I wanted and gaining lots of weight--I still think about food all the time!

One of the reasons I came back to Schwarzbein is because I had had it with dieting and I told my best friend that I was DONE with all of it. I figure I am going to eat healthy (because I do think that TSP is the best way to eat) and if I lose weight, then great, if I don't, then so be it. I'll just be a 16 for the rest of my life.

I was watching the Today show yesterday and they had a woman who, while pregnant with her quadruplets, decided that she was going to run a marathon after having the babies. I think the babies are about 1 1/2 now and she just finished her first marathon this past weekend (can't remember which one). All this to say that she looks to be at least a size 16--maybe more. So you have to wonder how someone can train for a freakin marathon (she even had a marathon trainer who worked with her) and still be that size. My best friend is about 5'4 and 155lbs. She really wants to lose 20-30 lbs. So this time last year, she started doing a boot camp (run by a real marine) 3 times a week. Guess what--she still weighs 155 a year later (and no, her size has not changed--still has a tummy and wears the same jeans). I guess it just makes me wonder if some of us are destined to be a certain size. If we look at the Victorian era or the women that Michaelangelo painted, we can clearly see that a 16 or 18 seemed to be the norm. Shoot, we can even look at Marilyn Monroe!

I just really want to stop hating my body and think of it more as a temple that grew three amazing little bodies and then nourished them, on it's own, for years and years afterwards (yes, my three year old is *still* nursing! I do want to exercise and eat "well" so that I don't feel like I am harming my body or causing myself to gain weight because I am lazy or sedentary, but I also don't want to spend every second of every day obsessing about food! I find TSP to be very easy to follow without really having to think (as long as you aren't cutting out any major stuff like gluten)--especially since we eat out so much and I can always find a steak, baked potato and salad out.

Please don't feel alone here--I think most women who are constantly trying to find "the perfect size" feel the same way you do! I just wonder how our "perfect size" is determined!