Note: I am an old woman and some of the references in this post may mean little to you younguns.

As I approach my goal weight I am thinking about the irony of numbers. Twenty-five to thirty years ago, I was very familiar with the weight of 140. I began to think of this weight as my set point. (Do you remember the set-point theory?) I struggled like crazy to get below that weight. I felt so fat. My face held the pudge of youth and my belly felt like I was wearing one of those cheap inner tubes that are not approved floatational devices. Was I really fat or was I longing for a long straight body to go with my hair--you know, that 70's thing? I remember the Metropolitan Life weight tables said that at 5'4" I should weigh no more than 122. I proceeded to diet, regain, and diet myself into true obesity.

Would I have been better off just accepting myself and waiting (weighting) until I matured into my body? Who knows--could I have done it? Probably not. I've spent a lifetime building bumps into my road and journey. I have no regrets. It has taken what it has taken. I know that my body is very different at this weight now. My face is thinner and I have a pudgy stomach--but hey, we have Spanx now, thank you very much. Has age and a low carb lifestyle made for better fat distribution?

The numbers are still a little whacko. Before at 140 I wore a size 11 or 13. Now I am in a size 8. It seems that not only have the weight charts been raised, the sizing has been lowered. I can remember longing to buy clothes in the trendy store, "5-7-9." If that store were still around, I'll bet I still couldn't gain entrance--It would be called "1-3-5" now. And what's up with clothing sized "0"? That's just crazy!!! Listening to teens brag that they wear a size zero makes me think of the Emperor's New Clothes. I feel like the boy watching the naked ruler walk by saying the obvious out loud. "Honey, size zero is not something to aspire to!!"

I look at my goal weight of 135 and wonder if I was subconciously trying to once again get below the weight my body seems to establish. Perhaps I just want to give myself some wiggle room with 5 pounds.

Anyway, I'm paying attention to my body and my feelings. Just wanted to see if any of you have had some of these thoughts after you've lost a significant amount of weight and lived a life of weight wondering.
Peace,
Sara<><