My getting fat was a mix with not very good childhood, growing up with bad eating habits, stuff happening during my teen years(ex. losing our house, living with a crackhead...etc), becoming a pothead in high school, having friends who were downers, getting into drinking(that food craving you get before you need to sleep), then using food as a stress release, instead of letting my emotions out.

I think that's the hardest thing for me to work on, letting my emotions come out. I know a lot of people say that your strong when you don't cry in front of others, but even if I wanted to cry in front of others I can't--yet. I've kept it in for so long that it's difficult for me to show emotions to others, that isn't sad.
I think it's amazing when someone can cry in front of you, plus it's healthy for you!

So my being fat changed throughout the years, I received different ways to use it, so to speak.

The last thing I used it for way to hide my emotions, I would think. I was so sad and depressed at the beginning of the year, I don't even remember crying once, but boy did I gain weight, and some more stretch marks!