Wonderful thread. I can relate so closely with so many of you. A few months into lcing I realized that this is not merely a way to lose weight, but for me it's an exploration into self-love and self-discovery. I cringe as I type this because it sounds really corny, but it is true.

I used food as a means of rebellion as a child, fat as protection from unwanted male advances as a pre-teen, and food as a drug as an adult. Self sabotage is a constant battle with me. My negative, self deprecating old behaviors are my main battle----just give in because I never truely believe that I will make my goals because ultimately I just don't deserve to. That there is fundamentally something "wrong" with me and I don't belong with the healthy, slim section of the population. For me this journey is learning how to address these negative behaviors and respond in new ways. Uncovering the underlying issues and changing my responses is the only way for me to ever have my head and my body in the same place--to be comfortable in a slim body. I can lose the weight, but if I don't deal with the underlying issues I will never be successful and will end up either gaining the weight back (yet again) or just become an obsessive, neurotic mess trying to maintain. Looking for total health and wellbeing, not just a size.