I have to admit something that's along these same lines... It's hard to explain,though. Whenever I see a new number on the scale, especially recently, my initial reaction is excitement!! But there's another part of me that is sad for some reason. It's only a fleeting feeling, because I immediately dismiss it as being ridiculous....but it's there somewhere. It's got to be connected to a feeling of vulnerability somehow....but I never would have guessed I could feel that way. How can you work so hard to make it go away, and then be sad when it does??? Am I THAT attached to it? Am/Was I really using it as a buffer of some sort? I'm so ....CRANKY....when I'm 180#...I hated it with a passion!!... so why am I sad when it goes? Definitely worth pondering.