Congratulations Nikki on getting engaged to be married! It sounds like you are making progress with many aspects of your life. I agree with some of the others that starting a journal and perhaps finding a therapist to talk to would be wise. Most people cannot really understand your thoughts on this since they haven't been there themselves, but finding a professional should be useful for you. I agree with not letting anyone else's negativity rule your life though, so if a friend or family member is being negative all the time (telling you how you're going to gain it all back, etc), then you need to have a serious conversation with them or cut them loose. Your friends and family will likely adjust, but it will take time. You will figure out who your true friends are, and it will all work out in the end. Some of your friends may drift away, and that is their choice.

--Melissa