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Originally Posted by Voo36
To look at this from a slightly different perspective...
One of my "yardsticks" of whether a man is "worthy of my love" yeah I sound like a total diva don't I ???  Anyway, what if you DID have a perfect body, then god forbid, you were involved in some horrible accident that forever changed the way you look?
If a man can't deal with some loose skin, then how on earth would he react to a true disfigurement like a burn or an amputation or some of the other unthinkable horrors that happen every single day. Remember the lady who the chimpanzee attacked? I bet she would trade her ripped away face and hands for our baggy bellies anyday. |
Very true, but although we can always find someone who's worse off than we are it doesn't make it any easier to deal with our own insecurities. I'm not one to worry over little things. I had over sixty stitches in my face after a nearly fatal accident when I was a teenager, but that didn't bother me. I'm talking about a great deal of loose skin over most of my body, not just a baggy belly, and some men would be repulsed by that so I think I have a valid reason to be worried about my man's response to it.
I'm a stark realist and not into positive thinking unless there's a good reason for it. If I'd been with this man all my life and started to grow old with him I'd be a lot more positive, but I've only known him a year and he's much fitter and only just reaching 50. I'd feel more secure if I was with a man who had similar problems with his body, but love happens where it will.
I didn't come here for sympathy, but to learn from others in the same or similar positions, and it's helped a great deal to hear others share their experiences.
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Errr, sorry if that sounded harsh, I've had a badddd day lol.
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You didn't sound harsh to me; you were being straightforward and truthful, and I appreciate that. If more people spoke what was really on their minds this would be a better planet, but most of us are too scared that other people won't like us if we do. I'm like you; I started telling it like it is pretty late though, and didn't lose a single friend when I did
I hope your bad day got better
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But the truth is, America is drifting deeper and deeper into a country with little values beyond a superficial "Well it only matters what a person looks like" snob filled aristocracy where looks are King and true values like kindness and goodness are overlooked maids emptying out the slopjars of life.
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I have to agree with you 100%. And it's spreading fast. I'm not American (or a Brit), but even in my small corner of the world those values are creeping in and it makes me weep to see it happening.
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Now how's THAT for romantic inspiration eh? Just do it girl, you gotta admit that actually knowing one way or another cant be as bad as this endless teetering on the horrendous tightrope of "omg what if.... " He can only reject you once, you can reject yourself every single day for him, and what if.. just IF.. it's all for nothing?
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Thanks to all the people kind enough to write in I'm convinced that the only way to find out is to do it. Sad that he won't be back on leave for a couple of months. I'm tired of playing out scenarios of being rejected in my mind, so as you say, it will be a relief to find out in the end.