Very interesting thread PJ

You know what's weird? Last year, when I came face-to-face with the fact that I am gluten intolerant, I was pretty upset. I couldn't and still can't understand why, since I was doing my usual "low carb" thing sans dairy and having no problems enjoying food.

It was the idea that I'd never, ever be able to have a 'cheat' once in rare while out at a restaurant or for some special occasion. It's not like I'd do this very often in the first place, but I honestly felt like the choice to do so or not had been taken away from me. It's not like I ever get to decide if I'm going to stay on plan or not at a particular restaurant or at someone's house for dinner or what have you. This isn't willpower - it's something that is necessary for my health.

I've kind of gotten past this stuff by making a lot of food at home that is very good. I'm happy with what I'm eating, and when faced with a dinner get together at someone's house, I'll bring food - enough for everyone. Like a sort of 'host/hostess' gift, but part of the purpose is making sure that there'll be enough food or 'something' that I can eat. I find this easier than quizzing people or picking through something. I'll show up with some fancy gourmet g/f chicken brats to a BBQ, a platter of shrimp to a buffet, or a big salad etc.

Hmm...I don't really experience mourning for previously ok foods when shopping in a grocery store - but I'd have to admit, I'm still kind of bummed out about restaurant eating. I find it difficult to get something low-carb, dairy-free and gluten-free in a restaurant situation. I don't find it fun or easy sitting there with a group of people, hungry - and everyone else is noshing on the basket of warm bread and butter that's been delivered to the table. I wish they'd bring something *else* to the table - something other than bread or chips/salsa. How come they never bring some fancy veggies with that oil/balsamic deal? Nope, it's always warm foccacia something or other.

About grocery shopping - most of the time, I won't even go down the aisles at all. I might whip into one of them to get some spices or mustard or something like that.

Um, I know it might sound 'typical' - but the one thing that I always do when heading to the store(s) is to make sure I've eaten first - even if that's just a can of olive oil packed tuna straight out of the can. By the time I get through all the shopping, coming home, carrying the stuff into the house, putting it all away, the *last* thing I want to do is make myself something to eat. I don't come home from a two+ hour shopping trip all raring to go, wanting to cook up some fabulous meal.

PJ - is it possible that the "Don't Care" is actually a case of being hungry? My biggest 'don't care' times come when I haven't eaten. I get hungry at the wrong place and wrong time. This is when I'll cave a wee bit. I'm most susceptible when I start skipping meals or take off shopping or something without considering whether or not I've had something to eat. In fact, just yesterday we were heading out to the mall for some 'pre-screening' of potential Black Friday purchases, and we purposely stayed home a bit longer and made ourselves eat a big lunchtime salad before leaving. I mean, we had our coats on and were about to head out the door, and one of us said, "Maybe we should eat something first?" I remember saying to my husband, "Well, won't there be *something* we could get at the food court?" Turns out that would have been a dicey idea. I mean, even if we were to get some gyro meat on a paper plate, we don't know if it has gluten in it or not. I'm not about to start quizzing the clerk behind a fast food counter about ingredients in a busy mall. There's a sandwich place, we could have maybe gotten some tuna salad or something - but it's a *sandwich* place - crumbs all over everything, I'm sure.

I'd like to suggest eating before shopping - always Then, you'll still have "Don't Care" going on, but it will be not caring about all the carby foods all over the place and not caring about if you can or can't have something. You'll have energy to get through the big shopping trip and back home to put it all away, and you won't come home starving. There'll be a bunch of nice stuff in the fridge - and later on, when you're ready to make dinner or whatever - you'll be in a good mood. Not feeling all deprived. If you're inclined to shop in the evening, go after dinner. Then, once again - a bunch of nice food at the ready in the morning for breakfast.

I'm wondering if maybe you just don't eat enough food when you are LC'ing, or maybe not eating often enough, and finding yourself in a situation where you 'snap' and suddenly don't care. The old hungry at the wrong place and wrong time deal. Running out of food at home, and being hungry and tired. Or coming home from a big shopping trip, tired and hungry and not in the mood to cook. These are my own personal worst-case scenarios. I also get mad and feel deprived if I'm suddenly hungry at the wrong place and time. It's at times like these that I'll go off and buy something stupid, like g/f cookies or whatever.

Meanwhile (geesh, this has gotten to be way too long)...I agree with NancyLC on the perfection stuff. It's not necessary to be so totally strict about every single little thing *all* the time. A bit of flexibility and leeway might help a lot. I've recently found this jarred curry sauce at the grocery store - great ingredients, gluten-free, very tasty and easy to cook with. It's a bit more expensive, and it's also a bit carby-er than seems ideal. This is where my 'don't care' comes in. I do enough, try hard enough, and if I want a fast sauce option that happens to be $6 for the jar and happens to be slightly carby-er, then so be it. Or if I'm feeling particularly hungry and wanting something a bit more-ish - then I'll go ahead and buy the pre-made Wholly Guacamole and goop on like four heaping tablespoons onto my turkey burger. Or maybe I eat some hummus - not technically Paleo (legumes), but it *is* low-carb and gluten-free. I guess what I'm saying is that I cannot do it all, all the time.

I don't think anyone should put that kind of pressure on themselves.