I have lived a lifetime of being eating disordered, (I'll be 39 soon, & I've had a dysfunctional relationship with food since I was really young, but I won't go into detail about that here). Most of my life, I've been extremely anorexic, (with small episodes of binging/purging). When I met my wonderful, amazing husband a few years ago, I wanted more than anything to heal myself & have a normal, happy life, & a normal relationship with food. The trouble was, once I actually started eating, the weight FLEW on to my body & stuck, (close to 40 lbs in less than four months), which caused the binging & purging behavior to start up again, (which didn't help a darn thing weight-wise, by the way).
Anyway, I'm here today because I needed to find a way of eating where I can be as normal (as I can possibly be, anyway) with food, and also help myself get to a healthy, comfortable weight, (LC, low fat is the only thing that works now for my poor, messed-up body). I'm also here for support & motivation with my exercise stuff, (I want to be strong, healthy & super-fit now)! I'll admit, I do struggle with wanting to go back to starving myself, (especially since I just gained a bunch of my weight back with a failed experiment), but I just have to force that thought out of my head every time it comes back. It kind of sucks, but in a way it's a good thing I wrecked my thyroid, (if I tried to starve myself now, it would just shut down completely & I wouldn't lose an ounce, so now I "have" to take a healthy approach)...

It's hard, but I feel almost like a normal human being for the first time in my life, & I really want to do this for my husband, (who deserves the best wife I can be)!

The more recent part of my story is on the first page of my journal, if anyone feels like checking it out, all are welcome!