At the risk of taking this thread a bit off-topic...you'd be surprised what people 'realize,' whether they're parents or not. Sometimes other people's kids are 24/7 for their 'bonus parents,' too.

My sister, a single (divorced) parent of two boys (now 20 and soon-to-be 23) felt that she 'didn't have help,' although she always had lots. The boys' dad was an unreliable parent on his best days, and left home when they were 3 and 6 y.o. My brother not only didn't have official 'help,' but has a very combative ex-spouse...and when they separated, his boys were 5 and 9 y.o.

My sister worked full-time, sometimes two jobs, and my brother also worked full time and had two jobs until last year. Both of them had supportive family and friends only 15-40 minutes away, and we all stepped in and stepped up regularly. In the 17 years of both divorces, I only said 'no' one time when either of them asked me for a hand. I took the kids on weekends when needed, weeknights when needed, drove them to practices and attended games their actual parents couldn't make (I have a flexible work schedule) and took them to doctors' appts. and went to school conferences and performances. Their friends stepped in for community breakfasts and Halloweens and Christmas celebrations and gifts. And somebody had to be the extra resouces when the older ones went off to college...guess who?

The thing is, even completely single parents without nearby family can and do build support networks when raising their kids--but they do have to build them. If you're a two-parent home and you feel you're not getting any/enough support, then you need to insist on some, or build up that friends network. I know that's a 70's liberal kind of approach, but I've seen it in action for dozens of women, and bottom line, you get the support network you're willing to build/insist on. That's said from *being* the 'bonus parent' aka Aunt to not only my own nephews, but to dozens of dog-show friends' kids over the last two and half decades. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't interact with some of those kids, or their parents, or both. I've just gotten off a supportive phone call to oldest nephew, who was just drafted by the Chicago pro lacrosse team and wanted to brag a bit to the aunt to whom he can always tell everything...including that he'd just put his name into his company pool to go to New Orleans and helped staff/rebuild franchises there for a 3-4 week period, and what did I think of that? I thought it was incredibly cool that he would be so mature and so willing to both experiment in his life and step up where others needs him. The 24/7 part doesn't stop when they're old enough to leave home, and the rewards for that investment just keep on coming.



It's true, no one is in anyone else's shoes. That said...one of the things I like the most about PP is that the equations for computing an ideal weight are a LOT more realistic than most other 'charts.' For one thing, they take increasing age and lean body mass into consideration; most others don't. It is entirely possible that 115lbs. is no longer an 'ideal' weight for a 30-y.o. woman; goddess knows it's not for me (and I'm only 5 feet tall.) You may need to retake your measurements and rethink your ideal body weight as you get older, because...well...that weight from high school is as long-gone as the person who posed for your senior picture. And as pointed out before...exercise CAN be all the difference between being a size 6 at 130 lbs and a size 12. YMMV.



Barb, actually there's a lot of science that debunks that 'old adage.' One really great website for actual scientific studies that demonstrate that eating low carb successfully really ISN'T all about eating less and exercising more, or that 'a caloris is NOT just a calorie' is http://www.nutritionandmetabolism.com which is the online journal of -- you guessed it, nutrition and metabolism. There's really some great stuff there, and I completely recommend it. Check it out.

Gaelen