Hello Joanna, I really appreciate your input, and you wrote the things I think! I agree with what you have to say.
It is very difficult to go without having my usual glass of wine each night. I always tell myself during the day, that this is gonna be the night I just go without...... Sure! By 9pm I am beginning to argue with myself on why do I feel I can't get thru the night without it. I see you have trouble with sleep, as I do!
Wine definitely helps me with that. I grew up in a home where my stepfather was abusive to my mother...It always happened at night, and I was always the one who felt I had to rescue her and make it stop.... I was actually afraid to fall asleep for fear he would hurt her before I could get there to interrupt. I know it is years later and I have been in counseling because of it.... I also suffered for years from anxiety and panic attacks. They are much better due to counseling ( I don't know if I spelled that right) My stepfather was an alcoholic, and an abuser.
I am also a very sensitive person, I guess that is why I was so affected by what went on.
I never drank untill I was about 28 years old, I was in a band in NY and we would all have a few drinks to unwind after a long night., I have been drinking the same amount since then, some times a little more sometimes a little less, 2 to 3 glasses of red wine a night.
I am sure I have a problem because I don't want to give it up.
I am working on it though... For the last few nights, I hold off having my glass of wine untill around 10:30pm, I usually go to bed around 11:30 so it doesnt give me much time to drink more than 1 1/2 glasses... before I get real sleepy. So I'm going to keep at it, hopefully in time I won't need any wine to get sleepy, I'll just go to bed. I hope!
You sound like me when you write and I enjoy being in touch with someone who probably understands just how I am feeling. I hope to hear from you again, and Iwant youto know I appreciate your kind interest.... Thanks, Susann