Sango,
I agree with Eno about the counseling and perhaps medication. Why suffer if something will help? This is a wonderful time in your life, but also a stressful time. Your eating should not be adding to this stress. I too suffer from depression.. and bad body image. It seems like now that I am in the 170s I hate my body even more. So I totally feel for you.

But life is hard and so is eating correctly. We weren't designed to eat anything we want. I also think we weren't designed to never relax with our eating, so you are not a failure on those days. There is almost no one out there with healthy bodies that doesn't work hard at it. Instead of looking at your CAD lifestyle as a punishment.. think of yourself as part of the hard working crowd that is striving to be healthy. I don't want to down play your feelings by saying you should automatically feel good about your new lifestyle.. but perhaps begin to embrace it. You are not being punished.. you are being rewarded when you start feeling better.

You are a beautiful young lady that has accomplished so much in your life. Do whatever it takes to start appreciating yourself.. don't look at anything on the journey as a failure. If CAD isn't right for you.. then tweak it.. or try WW. Just keep searching for what makes you feel good. You know you can do anything you set your mind to.. you have done it before.

Hugs, Kandi