Why Losing Weight Doesn't Make It All Better
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Good read, thanks.
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This takes a biological issue and turn it into a psychological one. Then if you gain weight, you probably didn't want to be thin for some reason rather than your body is fighting you tooth and nail to return to your former weight.
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Thank you for sharing. I understand what they are saying. I had those extra lbs for years after my divorce. I felt SAFE, no threat of attention from men, or anyone.
I lost close to 100 lbs once before. I felt great and happy with myself UNTIL i started getting attention. As i got smaller the looks from men, and anyone, made my mind race. People approached me, men flirted. I found it uncomfortable. I slowly starting gaining the weight back, felt safe, comfortable. The odd thing, emotionally, at this time i was regaining my weight, i meet my now husband. I kept gaining weight during our friendship. When he told me he was romantically interested my first thought was how can this be? I mean i was fat your not supposed to be someone a man looks at that way. |
I really enjoyed the article...weight loss involves physiological and emotional corelates. Its challenging to address them. I have had the opportunity to address my own physiological and emotional components as well as assisting others.. thank you so much for posting
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Great article! Thanks Demi!
As someone newly at goal (March 15/12) I can really relate to the fear of regaining and failing. Throughout my journey, I made it about not only the weight loss but about an entire mind and body overhaul. But still I am fearful. I worry that this stubborn vigilance will perpetuate that anxiety or one day unravel and sabatoge my efforts. I'm scared of losing control! Always a work in progress; a beautiful one at that!! |
Good article, Demi! :wave:
It makes good points and I've felt all those feelings after losing 120 lbs. Not fear of vulnerability for me but fear of other stuff when the weight was gone. Expectations from others came into play. Now that I was no longer morbidly obese, all my excuses about how my weight got in the way of my life were gone...oops! :o I had huge fears of gaining it all back. So much so that I put things into place to help me not allow it to happen. Weekly weighin anyone? ;) Quote:
No, it isn't easy....and being morbidly obese isn't easy either. I wouldn't trade one moment of the time it took me to lose it. I learned a lot along my journey. I'm still dealing with the emotional impact of the loss 6 years later. oy.... I had to estrange myself from my only relative as she is just too jealous and competitive with me for it to not be toxic to me. She'd love to see me fail! This makes me very sad but it had to happen. |
Ive thought about the article on and off all day...fear of regaining..friendships that dissolved in jealousy when I was no longer fat...redefining myself andrestructuring my relationship with food....hmmmm
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That's really interesting. if I hadn't read everyone else's posts I'd have dismissed that article as a lot of guff to get money from a new angle.
I have gained weight after diets because I didn't understand the impact of certain foods on my body and my inability to leave a bar of chocolate uneaten. I have no problem with being slim and attractive, and I love getting attention from men and compliments generally. I thought that most fat people end up hiding under baggy clothing to cover their shape (like I did), or becoming reclusive because they didn't want people staring at their bulk. Amn't I shallow, lol. |
This is an excellent article all around..!! Thanks Demi!
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Good article and comments. Being brand new at maintainence (this time) I am scared silly, adding new foods and more calories in, watching for the gain that will show that I over ate. I know it will get easier but I know I will remain vigilant.
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Hi Arlene, I was scared silly at first also. I'd been down this road so many times before and this was the first time I actually got to goal. I think that fear is a good motivator to make this stick. I will tell you that I stuck to my food plan and that has been key for me in keeping it al off. As I lost my weight, I figured out how much dairy/cheese, nuts and dk chocolate I could have each day and lose or maintain. When I need to see loss, I knock out dairy firts, then nuts and last, my precious dk chocolate. ;) I keep my fruits to maybe 1-2 servings a day and same with starches, very minimal at 1-2 servings a day. I eat lots of veggies and good proteins. :yum: I think that we all need to figure this out for our individual body. :wave: |
I think something that I couldn't see mentioned is how losing weight (and gaining weight) can change your relationship with others, particularly partners. I experienced changed relationships with friends and my ex husband when I gained weight, it was a real eye opener. People who were very good friends, (or so I thought) suddenly didn't want to be friends with me. I suspect this can also happen the other way - those happy to be friends with an obese person, will become less comfortable when you're slimmer than them.
My husband and I have also discussed possible changes in our relationship. He has aspergers and is not social at all and is very happy that I'm not, but if I lost weight, I expect I'd start to want to go out and do activities, make friends, socialise etc, so we've discussed in advance the parameters for this as it makes him quite anxious to contemplate these changes in me. Psychologically its not just difficult for the person losing the weight. Lee |
You make a very good point, Lee. :agree:
I did experience just that when I first gained 100 lbs. It was quite an eye opener for me :eek:, sorry to say. Any extreme change in how we look will spawn other changes on our lives. I think that its just the way we are hardwired. |
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You are so right Judy. And I am keeping track of everything I eat. I know I will need to go back and look eventually. At first I was very worried about adding in new foods, but now I am excited. I have had MIMs the last two dinners and Love them. I could not allow them earlier as baked goods are one of my downfalls. I am going to make oopsies today as well. I feel confident with tracking, and watching everything that I will be able to do this. How many carbs are you eating a day, now? I have been thinking of staying at about 30 but may start increasing about 5 a week, now, to about 50. Want to see what happens. Think I wll go over the maintainence thread and have a discussion there about this, too. |
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