I think he was offended by the question.

Mother Teresa ministered to people who had less reason to be happy and more reason to be miserable than almost any other people on Earth and yet she often wrote about the joy among her community.

And yet, I understand your question. When I am reminded of my size, it makes me unhappy for a moment. However, I go through large spans of time when I don't think about it at all. My husband is very non-judgmental about my weight and loves me unconditionally. I have three children who also love me as well as my mother and siblings. I'm sure that's largely the key to it.

Great! I'm glad it helped someone besides me. Sometimes when I type something out, it helps me to sort my thoughts and organize them.

Wishing you all the best with your daughter. Growing up can be so difficult to navigate. She's fortunate to have a mom who cares. 🌸

I think what makes one unhappy is personal.

If another can't be happy while being obese it's just a fact.

I find that a little sad though. I wish happiness for everyone. If a situation makes you unhappy, I hope you either have the ability to change your attitude or your situation.

Life is too short, and happiness is priceless.

Bob

I think many larger people are happy and know loads of slim people who are miserable as skunk. It's very much a personal attitude towards life, as well as level of self-esteem.
Having said that, obesity is more than just being on the large side and it is not our natural form. In my view obesity is a health matter. Someone can be happy at the same time they deny obesity is a health issue. But deep down, I think these folks feel bothered they are not in control.

I might be one of those folks. I am happy at the same time as being obese, and I do not believe that obesity is automatically a *bad* health issue. It IS a health fact. Is that denying?

I don't feel bothered deep down that I'm not in control, because I don't feel that way. Once the food is in line and the trend is getting better all the time, that is what I feel good about.

When I was young, my parents told me that I was fat and that being fat was bad. I believed them, but, being a child, I believed that they meant I was bad because I was fat. My parents brainwashed me and I believed them because they were my parents.

Looking at pictures of the girl I was, I can see that I was NOT fat. But my own belief, imposed upon me like a virus by my parents, made me a fat, bad person.

The first time I lost weight down to what they wanted, I expected my world to change. It didn't. I expected them to acknowledge me as a good, thin person. They didn't. I expected them to love me. They didn't. Nothing changed.

The difference between my being happy or not happy had nothing to do with my weight, only my attitude.

During my life, I've been fatter and thinner, happier and sadder, but it has always been about my attitude. The attitude which is most positive for me, that which makes me happiest is an attitude of gratitude.

Today I am so very grateful that I am healthy, that I have enough. I'm not rich, but I have everything I need. Maybe I don't have everything I could WANT, but I have everything I need. I am blissfully happy, and that will only change when I decide to be unhappy. I have the power.

Amen Glenda.

I have been overweight all of my life and I mean ALL of it. I used to think that if only I could lose all my weight then I would be happy. We never lived close to my gramma just because my father was in the army and we moved around a lot, then came a turning point in my life. One day, I was in my late teens and visiting my gramma with my mom and my gramma asked me why I always looked so grouchy and I said because I am fat. She said, BULLSHIT, you choose how you feel and how you let people make you feel. I said, that is easier said than done. And she said, yes it is, but it will be worth the hard work.

That is when I made the choice to be happy, to accept me for me. Don't get me wrong, I have had moments of doubt, moments of sadness, moments of overwhelming depression, but I would have had those even if I was thin for different reasons because that is life, it isn't perfect. But for the most part, I find being sad and miserable more time consuming and energy-sucking than being happy. So I CHOOSE to be happy and satisfied with my life.

Just like taking courses updating my skill set for work (learning new computer programs), for fun (cooking classes), taking parenting classes to learn how to deal with my foster children and their many issues, choosing to lose the weight is just another step in my life.

Will it make me even happier? Who knows, only time will tell. But for now, I refuse to WAIT to be happy. I CHOOSE to be happy and content with my life now and I am 110 pounds overweight!

What you describe is HARD work! What good advice you got, and how smart of you to have listened. We all have the choice to be.................whatever. They can take away everything except what is in our minds and our hearts. That they can't touch. We are all responsible for our own sh-t.

I was very thin for the first half of my life, and I've been overweight for the other half (except for a few years in the middle). I've been happy and unhappy in both body shapes.

Body shape is like diabetes - it's something I have, not what I AM. I am not an "apple" no matter what the body charts say. I can choose to be happy while still working to improve parts of myself that I think need improving, including my weight, fitness level, expertise in my chosen field and my ability to be a good friend to someone else.

^^^ That's the right attitude IMHO ^^^

Me? I wake up in the morning and feel lucky and happy to have another day of life before either the happy hunting ground or infinite blackness (we really never know for sure - no matter what we believe).

I'm very healthy and it's definitely not a "The end is near" thing. I just like being alive. I love my DW, I love my job (and I'm self-employed so nobody is going to force retirement on me), I love this physical life, the sensations of touch, the tastes, the smells, and everything else about it.

Even if there is an afterlife, will I be able to make love to my wife there and feel the delight? Will I be able to feel the saxophone vibrating in my hands while the music seems to flow through me instead of from me? Will I be able to taste anything at all? Probably not. Sure there may be other joys, but not these.

And if it's just infinite blackness, I figure I should make the most of every day. This life is the proverbial "bird in the hand". So I'll live my life by being good so if there is an afterlife, I'll go to the good place, and I'll extract every moment of joy I can get out of life while I'm here.

Basically, like a child, I'm happy unless there is a reason to make me unhappy. And unlike a child, it takes a much bigger reason to make me unhappy.

I think if most people adopt this attitude, they will be happier.

Bob

I agree with all that you have said. After my heart transplant, I now do not worry about many things, stress is no concern, I just do not sweat the small things.

I am so fascinated with the world more then ever, especially space, and plants. This is bigger then just us, like is what I mean. I hate when people say life is too short, cause it really is not short.

Life is long and crazy and fun. I find myself many times looking up at the sky and just wondering things about this planet. It still makes me laugh when countries or people say thing like this is our country, and we won this and that. People have no clue, we do not own anything on the plant, seeing as how a killer storm, earthquake, fire, or anything natural can take it all in a day.

Congratulations on your second life (post-transplant).

Many people with a second life have a similar attitude.

Life is indeed long, but IMHO if I live to be 150, it's still not long enough.

I just like being alive.

Back on topic...

Weight and happiness are neither mutually inclusive nor mutually exclusive.

Bob

I've always been happy, thin or fat. It's just the fat pics that I didn't like because from the inside looking out everything is fine.

Then you see the pics that someone has taken and realize that fat puts age on you and makes you look like someone else....not yourself.

The biggest problem is what to do about it......

So that's when I got my old Atkins book out and read, read, read.
Psyched myself up and
So, low carb to the rescue.

From day One I trashed the sugar and carbs and never looked back. It was actually very empowering to do that. Nobody can take it away from you. It's your new thing!

So I guess I am happier that I can tie my shoes without feeling like I'm leaning over a bowling ball.

Glad we have this WOE!!!

I have known some skinny people that aren't happy with themselves. A couple of them committed suicide.

I think you have to find happiness within yourself whether you are skinny or obese.