.....

Do I dare add that my background is in psychology, counseling, mental health?

I knew the "usual" responses I would get to her statement. I was curious if ithers had experienced this and what it was about in their case. It did catch me off guard in her case. I'm still sticking to the idea that it had more to do with her own weight, and maybe I'm gonna want her to start losing weight. If she wants to, that's up to her.

I think it's a little crazy that some might think my wife doesn't want me healthy - that isn't the case. She has openly expressed this to me and my doctor. It's also crazy for me to think about it in the sense of straying/cheating - we both know that isn't happening on either side. I know everyone that's ever been cheated on would probably say the same thing, but it ain't happening here.

My wife and I have a great marriage. I wish everyone could have a relationship similar to what we have. We aren't perfect, no couple is, but we are there for each other, we love each other, we have fun with each other. We don't do things without considering what the other might think because this is a partnership. As someone else was talking about, cutting her hair, etc. she asks me about those things - I have my preferences and she does want me to like it, but I also want her to be happy too.

My weight loss journey I think had been no different - simple things like not being able to sit in a booth when we'd go out to eat. This is something she enjoyed. I hated always having to speak up and say table please, because I knew I didn't want the embarrassment if I couldn't fit in the booth. Now I can fit! And I'm glad I can do something simple like that for her.

I feel like I'm rambling now...ha!

But yeah - mental health counselor, addictions counselor, oh, and youth minister!

we have very similar backgrounds...which is why I laugh....reminds me how people give medical advice after having read web md....My DH is a medical professional..it both annoys and amuses him

.I usually stay quiet but this time I didn't...watching Dr. Phil or Oprah doesn't qualify someone from analyzing someone's life from a message board post...and asserting a diagnosis...
BW..keep up the good work

Some people have medical backgrounds that you don't know have medical backgrounds, too. I certainly know enough to know that all people with "degrees" don't necessarily know what they're talking about. So given your comments, anyone without a degree should just keep their advice to themselves since they can't possibly know what they're talking about.
Wow. How totally offensive.

I don't have a medical degree of any kind. Did I miss something? Was this supposed to be entertaining?

Your weight loss is nothing short of inspirational, and proof that it can be done. But I would say you still have a way to go to ensure your future good health :-). I agree with Jey100 in this. Getting of medication should be a goal, and one that your DH will understand.

I would question you on how dedicated you are, (not suggesting you are not) but does you dedication come across as borderline obsession?

I know for the first 6 ish weeks I was way obsessed with the LC thing, and trying to convince my OH that it was a good thing. But I probably came across as overbearing. Now she has seen its a good thing, and is listening to others comments, about how I look she is convinced. But, she is still worried that I will become obsessed over it, and my image (I am probably hovering on the body dysmorphic).

When the time is right I am sure you will be able to talk to you DH and find out where she was coming from, and I am sure you will be able to explain your side as well.

Something everybody has to try to be qualified for... it's unavoidable--is to decide which person who is qualified to give advice to believe. My aunt listens to Dr. Oz--because he is technically qualified as a doctor. But information from Drs. Atkins, Eades, Fung, Wortman, Westman--she discounts--because it comes through me...

I'd take a Kitivan's, or a Sardinian's, or a Okinawan's advice about getting happy over a mental health professional's any day. There was wisdom before there were degrees. And that's not gone extinct.

This whole site is about helping each other, since there are precious few professionals who "get it" even now.

What the OP asked for was "the wisdom of crowds" and it can be very helpful to throw everything at the wall and see what sticks. It's called brainstorming, and it's incredibly powerful.

Remember, almost all of us were told for YEARS that we just needed to cut our fat and our portions and move more and when we got diabetes we were told to eat 130 grams of carbs at every meal.

By the EXPERTS. With DEGREES.

Makes us cynical.

I'm not sure how to take that. I don't think I've been overbearing about it at all. Obsessive about it, I guess you could say that - inthink to a point you have to be with this woe until u get into a groove with it.

And yes, my goal is to get off as much medication as possible. My wife and I both agree on that and to be healthy. For me, finding that "healthy weight" is still undecided because I don't believe I'll ever be in the range of those blasted BMI charts. Yes I know I'll be classified as overweight, maybe even as obese still, but I'll just have to deal with that label I guess.

There is just a wealth of smart (lowcarb) cookies here.

My hubby married me (after I was first in a very abusive, violent, bone breaking marriage) when I weighed 278 pounds. He's not overweight and looked like a boxer when we met. Inside, I was always scared that I wasn't good looking enough for him to love me.

Well, after being married 22 years and trying every diet under the sun...I started getting serious and found lowcarb. All throughout he would say 'You know you're going to just go back to eating whatever you want...why torture yourself?'

Now...after 36 years (and my 14 years of lowcarbing and maintaining for 12 years) he is quite like I first was. He's gained weight, developed high blood pressure (not gained weight to the extent I did...if he lost 15 pounds, he'd be good) and will NOT give up his donuts, sugar, etc. WILL NOT.

I'm 59, and I 'look' 59...and he constantly will say 'That guy was looking at you...I don't like that!' and such. To the point where I don't like to go out anywhere 'social' anymore...because I have to deal with that the rest of the night. Sigh.

Finally, he's starting to ask about 'how many carbs in this?' and 'What do you substitute for this?' and lately when I make just a meat and a veggie (not starch) he doesn't say much and eats it...and he's lost six pounds...effortlessly. And I comment! I sure DO! His smile is coming back and he's lost the acid reflux already...and the plantar fasciitis...

I'm so very glad I never tried to 'shame him' into lowcarb...I just went along SHOWING him that he is my true match for life and that I'd give him unlimited support.

And that is true love

WARNING: Sarcasm or logical reasoning might be included in the following post.

Yeah. Elitism is neither helpful nor practical. As human beings we are intelligent enough to learn from all the input we receive and derive logical conclusions from this input. Life experience is as valuable as a paper degree in many cases.

I have taken 4 psychology classes in college (general, developmental, statistical, and clinical psych) and was going to complete the degree but chose a different direction for various reasons, mainly financial. That doesn't mean my brain atrophied immediately, and I became unable to read and learn new things or became unable to analyze or deduct.

In many cases, we've had to diagnose and prescribe for our own family and children, because those people with expensive degrees are either unwilling or unable to look outside the box. Or unable to look outside their own ego.

It is quite possible for anyone to learn almost anything. Paper degree or no. I have studied astronomy, geology, psychology, physics and many other subjects, in addition to studying psychology, languages, writing, history, mathematics, biology and chemistry in college. My degree is in English with a concentration in Language and Professional Writing. I lacked 3 classes from a double major in History. I was certified in Technical Writing. I have been home educating my children for 8 years. They are quite advanced.

And I have learned a wealth of information on interpersonal relationships and the way people think in the past 35 years. Insight that is valuable enough that I am excellent at reading people and their motivations. Sometimes they tell me things they don't even realize they are expressing. Body language is every bit a true language as it's verbal counterpart.

But I suppose I'm really just a blathering idiot, since my useless, expensive paper is not for psychology or medical science.

Or maybe I'm in possession of a functional human brain and quite possibly know what I'm talking about. It could go either way.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person on this forum, let alone this thread, that's human with a functioning brain.

.......in a nutshell Bworthey, she's bored to death about your day to day diet chat... but more important than that is that she is scared your going to move on and leave her for a better body.


o.k. my take on it.... no degree, just been around awhile.... and I don't want to sound mean but that's how I see it. no offence intended.....

If my significant other (when I had one) said he didn't want me to lose more weight, I'd be in the same state of perplexity as B-Worthey. It's worth further conversation with the wife as to her feelings about your weight loss. That way you're both operating from the same page with no assumptions or guesses.

It was not meant in an offensive manner, but I am not the most eloquent of typists :-).

What I was trying to get you to look at was something like: If your OH was becoming obsessed with something, would you gently try and get her to stop?

There is a series on youtube called Killing the Fat guy (it is a crossfit production). I think it is episode 4 or 5 of this when his family start getting really irate with him constantly going on about paleo this and paleo that. His wife comments that although it is great that he is losing weight and now has a focus, it has become his whole focus.

Although the series is basically really bad which is why I only got to episode 5, I did see an awful lot of similarities between the guy and myself. Including doing push ups in the bathroom so my OH did not notice me!!