Quote:
Originally Posted by vivmom
For Blackstone, what about when you eat that handful of M&M's and DON'T think "Well, that was a mistake"? I want to get away from villainizing (if that's a word) ANY food. That's why I don't like calling foods "carbage" etc. It may be a harmless coping mechanism for some, but for me it sets up two worlds of food: good and bad. Somehow that does something to me emotionally: oooh, this is a 'bad' food! Let's eat it! I think that all food, particularly in a country as rich as ours, is a gift. A handful of M&M's is a nice little treat. It's finding the "off" button for me that's a challenge. I'm 49 and I still haven't figured this out!!! (Ugh, did I have to mention my age?!)
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Hey there everyone. I just thought I would chime in. I did my fair share of "binge" eating for quite some time, but I've been "clean" for about 8 months now. I think I need to be clear that I don't consider "cheating" and "bingeing" to be the same thing. And although I still refer to it as "cheating" I try not to think of it as an evil thing anymore, more so an exception. I went through months of therapy to stop feeling "guilty" about food. At first I totally fought it. It made no sense to me not to feel guilty about eating junk food. But eventually, it clicked. My relationship with food has changed so much as a result and I am no longer stuck in that black and white mentality.
I do still refer to carb-laden foods as junk or poison. I know this is negative, but truthfully that is how I view this food now. A handful of M&M's is not a "treat" to me, it is junk. However, I may make the exception once in a while to partake of such junkfood, and doing so does not make me weak, or evil or "out of control." What makes me "out of control" is the mindless discussion that takes place after one handful of m&m's, the evil voice that says, "go ahead and have the whole bag, why not? you already screwed up the day!"
Today I still fight constantly with emotional triggers, but I am able to talk myself out of cheating, and then bingeing, for emotional reasons. I talk myself out of it by reminding myself that junk food is not the answer and will only make me weaker. I remind myself that there are other more enjoyable and nutritious foods I could be eating. I find other ways, immediately, to redirect my emotions.
On occasion, I will indulge in something sweet or carby but it is purposeful, and I remind myself, very well, while I'm eating it that it is pure junk... but I don't feel guilty about it and I enjoy the taste of it. And if I don't enjoy the taste of it (because it is too sweet now or just icky) I stop eating it.
The key for me has been to separate emotion from eating, to enjoy my food (whether its on plan or not) and not feel guilty, to not make excuses for why it's ok to eat something, but to own the choice, own the consequences and move on. I won't be a victim anymore.
If this helps anyone at all, I'm glad I've shared it.