Oh, if only I could forget about it, and just have a normal life!

I still having to battle the urge to stop eating altogether or to want to take a ton of laxatives if I feel that I accidentally ate too much, (this is getting better with time, though. It's not easy, but the longer I go without acting upon the behaviors, the easier it gets to resist them, most of the time, anyway)...

The worst part of this whole thing, though, is what I did to my body, and how I'm paying for it now. I just went back to the doctor yesterday for related reasons, and now I have to go this morning have my arm stabbed & my blood drawn (yet again, & I really, really hate having to have that done), so that the doctor can check & see what's failing this time. My body is a real mess now, and a lot of the damage I did to myself is really coming back to haunt me. My thyroid is crashed out, (which will make you gain LOTS of weight and make you unable to lose it, which is fun for an ex-anorexic), my heart has weird flutters sometimes, (I have heart damage from starvation), my digestive system doesn't work properly anymore, my hair has never come back to how it used to be before it all fell out, my teeth chip & break all the time.... The list goes on & on. I don't think that "forgetting about it" is ever going to be able to happen for me.

do laxatives make you lose weight fast? I wouldnt think that!

nope. they push water through you (ie out of your cells) giving you the illusion you lost weight because 1. the scale registers a lighter number and 2. you feel like you crapped out all your food.

tragically, they only deplete your body of vitamins and minerals, not fat

I'm a binge eater...I know it isn't like bulemia or anorexia but it truly is a disorder. Binge eating is how I have gained 100 pounds eating my problems. I, too, struggle with this daily and IFing has helped me to control my eating habits better as well as low carbing.

NO, they do NOT help you lose weight! It's like what pecan said, and I used them to get rid of all the food in my body if I felt like I ate too much. It had nothing to do with weight loss, it was because I couldn't stand the feeling of having food in my stomach... (I can tell you what they WILL do for you,though- they'll give you irreversible heart damage and intestines that don't work at all)...


skeeweeaka~

Believe me, I recognize that you have a very real eating disorder, (lots of us here have that very problem, & I've gone through periods of it myself). It is TERRIBLE to feel so out of control with food, it's really an addiction for some, just as drugs or alcohol are for others. I think that IF combined with low carbing is a really awesome plan, (I did it myself for awhile, in fact). IF can be a tricky thing for people with a history of ED, though. You just have to make sure that the fasting period doesn't become starving, (if you're anorexic), and that your eating window doesn't turn into an all-out gorge-fest, (if you're a binger or bulimic).

sprouts~

I was just wondering how you're doing since you last posted?

thanks for the info

No problem at all!

I do apologize if I seem "preachy" about the damage you can do to yourself with an ED or things like laxative abuse- it's just that I really, really hate to see someone go down the same path as I did and destroy their body & health forever. I know that a lot of us can't help having a real & true ED, but in this insanely pro-anorexic world we're living in these days, I try to warn younger people that there are future, permanent repercussions to what they're doing to themselves in order to be "in fashion". (I don't like talking about myself & everything that's "broken" on me now. Actually, I hate bringing that stuff to people's attention, because I just wish I could live a normal life now, and thinking about it makes me realize that I really damaged my chances of aging gracefully and living well into my older years, but these days I just feel compelled to warn people, so that they may at least have some small chance of NOT ending up like me). At nearly 39 years old, my life is all about "repairing myself" now. I go to the doctor & go through a lot of crap every time something else starts to quit working, I go to the dentist all the time for teeth that chip & break, (which is not pretty), and I eat super-healthy, take tons of supplements & do lots of strength training to strengthen my bones & build muscle back onto my body. I'm hoping that it's not totally too late for me, (but my doctor told me once that the heart damage I did to myself took many years off my life, so I wanted to pass that along also).

~Take care!

Hi, I just have a quick question...does IF stand for intermittant fasting? Also, can you direct me to a thread where I would get an idea of how you incorporate that into your diet?

I was bulimic in my early to mid 20s - getting rarer as I get older - the last time I made myself throw up would have been about a year ago, and even then it was the first time in a long while.

Sometimes I get the urge to binge and purge when I'm stressed or feel out of control in some kind of way. If circumstances in life make me feel vulnerable or powerless I will want to go crazy with it and sometimes it's difficult to fight.

Surprisingly, I don't get those feelings when eating low carb. It may sound really silly, but I just don't think LC food would come back up so easily. Pasta, icecream, bread, biscuits... it all comes up in clumps and it's not too difficult to do. LC food, especially that which is high fat, sits in my stomach like a bowling ball. there's no way I could heave up that lot! NOt that I want to, either. I don't get the bloated self-disgusted feeling I used to get after eating loads of carbs.

All of that said, I don't consider myself to have an eating disorder anymore, it's been a long time and as a statement of faith in myself, I believe that this will be my WOE for the foreseeable future. Bulimia never helped me lose any weight, all it did was make my teeth a bit yellow , my eyes bloodshot and my fingers smell like puke.

Hi there~

Yes, IF does stand for intermittent fasting, and there's a really great group of people here who do it! If you look in the "Countdowns, Buddies & Challenges" area, you'll see a thread titled, "Low Carb, Intermittent Fasting", (where you'll find LOADS of info & support). Good luck!

I have been 'consciously' anorexic for about a year and a bit now. And, it's getting ridiculous. I need help.

My mom just asked if I would want to go back to India for Xmas. And even though I know, being back home would probably be good for me.
Unbelievable as it may seem to people without this problem, I actually spent the last half hour mentally putting together a workout and diet plan that would be sustainable over Xmas.

Oh, and for the curious among you. I am a Male; 20 yr old; 5ft 8in and as of yesterday i weigh a full 106 pounds. (down from 180 2 years ago)

I swear in the end, I look down see all 6 abs and it pushes me further down the hole.

gabmal:
It's time for a reality check: do you want to live or do you want to die? You KNOW something is WRONG or you wouldn't have made the above post.

You will have to decide how much you want to live; anorexia causes your body to digest itself. You can die of organ failure---more specifically---heart failure.

Find a way to get some counseling from a therapist with experience treating eating disorders---before it's too late.

sveltecelt;
heck yeah i knwo somethings wrong... i knew that i was taking it too far the first time i refused my moms cooking (one year ago).
I am aware of what you say anorexia does, but heres the thing, i ratoinalize it to myself. I make sure i get in enough protein (1gm per pound) and eat aroun 1100-1200 cals a day. this is largely because i weight train 3 days a week. I take Omega-3 tabs; eat ham, herring, pork, beef, veggies & mutlivitamins.
My problem lies in the fact that i cannot eat out of a structure. And i take 'fat' burners even though they don't do anything physically, they do keep me sane.

I am a binge eater too. I didn't realize it, but when I was a kid, my brother and I would sneak into the goodies and eat them all. We wern't alloud any, this was our way of getting some. It must have stuck. its all emotional, it doesn't make it any easier. When I met my husband, I had just lost 80 lbs. I started working in a facory with him, and we worked long hours. I was tired and hungry after work, that I would buy alot of junk food and stuff myself all the way home, then purge. He had no idea. He thought I had a good appetite when we would eat fast food after work.
Now he nows the basics. Don't think he wants to know the rest! I have found a pattern now. I binge on Sunday afternoon and evenings. Why? Well I think its because I know I'm going to be lonely all week. You see, he works nights, I stay home with the 3 kids. I love it when he is home on the weekends. Sundays, when he goes to sleep at noon, its the mark of the new long, lonely week. I binge almost every Sunday.

We discussed this yesterday morning. He didn't say much, thats his way. He took off several days over the summer to work on the house, and help me ged through the first 2 weeks on Akins. The crying, cravings, hormones, fears, ashamed. You name it, I went through it and he was there with me. I suspect, this Sun, we are going to have a game plan. I don't want to binge, we will get me through this. Even if we have to take the keys and get rid of all carbs in the house for the day.

Everyone here has a darn good reason for being here. I have never had so much support with my problems as I have found here. For once I have found that I'm not going through this alone.

Thank you everyone!!

Jacki

I'm EDNOS - have anorectic tendencies but also struggle with binge eating and compulsive overeating - thus the weight.

Low fat diets seemed to complicate this in the past - I would feel very hungry and angry about it (it was different when I was "dieting" instead of intentionally restricting, for some reason). Those feelings would usually lead to a period of binge eating, then I would be back at COE.

I feel much more in control (in a good way) when my carbs are low - I don't feel like I'm starving and need to eat everything in sight.

I feel incredibly stupid that I am still dealing with these issues at my age, because eating disorders seem like a youth thing. Which is, of course, BS. I also feel stupid because sometimes because who ever heard of a fat anorexic?

Anyway, I do have to be careful about slipping into super restricting mode, but being here and trying to be accountable helps.