And, it would seem, a heavy person who chooses for whatever reasons she may have to love herself as she is seems to be a threat to some who have worked to lose the weight. Why should anyone care enough about whether or not someone else chooses to remain fat and feel good about herself to start a whole thread just to point out the wrongness of it? Please don't say it has something to do with the cost of health care because, honestly, there are far greater preventable contributors to the cost of health care than obesity; things like smoking, drug and alcohol abuse, sexually transmitted diseases, risky driving habits (how many of you talk on your cell phone while driving or don't wear your seat belt?), chronic stress and lack of sleep, and the list goes on. I notice noone has addressed my question about whether or not obesity really causes all the diseases that people seem to think it does. Remember the people who brought us the fat makes you fat theory and the fat causes heart disease theory?
There is a difference between how we feel physically and how we feel emotionally. One can and often does affect the other, but when I see people saying that they can't or won't allow themselves to feel good about themselves emotionally unless and until they reach some pre-determined number on a scale and nobody else should either that makes me very sad indeed.
My weight does not define my worth as a human being. It never has and I hope it never will.

As i lose weight, the politics of it with people larger than me or the same size has kicked in. One lady says, "Oh, you can't HAVE that" as if I'm stupid for not having "that". She also makes a point of eating sugar in front of me than saying in a condescending way "Oh, I know you don't like this, but its good."


I am constanly getting judged because I eat higher fat foods, but will not eat pasta, pizza crust, sweet potatoes, oranges, apples...you name it. "I bought ice cream for dessert, it's fat free" (my mother-in-law)."But that has so many more calories, how can it be good for you?" "Aren't you worried about you cholesterol?" Jeez, none of these people gave a darn about what I ate when I was obese, but now that I am doing something about it, everyone has some kind of comment to make to me. I realized these people are actually threatened either by my success, or by what I eat, I'm not sure which. My husband and I went to his mother's house for his birthday dinner. Over half of what she prepared was off-plan for us. We did not make a big deal about it, just put on our plates what we could eat and left the rest alone. She said "well, when you are invited to someone's house for dinner you can't expect them to cater to you". Since she had been harrassing my husband to lose weight for YEARS (not the kind of gentle statements of concern I mentioned before) I would have thought she would have been more supportive of his decision to lose weight (he has already lost 65 pounds!). Now she's upset that we aren't doing it "the right way" which according to her is low cal/low fat. Some people are never happy.

That is actually my point. I think extreme thiness, scale obsession, and obesity are all very unhealthy behaviors. I know that some people are obese because they really truly cannot help it. But there is not a one size fits all person of any size that can stand up for the entire group and say "This is how it is".

I have to strongly disagree that obesity can somehow be healthy. I have seen too many people struggling with it. I won't nag them, that's for sure, or treat them differently, but if they try and do something about it, I'm sure as heck gonna support them any way I can.

The extremes of any movement are offensive and I think what Newbirth and some others on here are trying to say that its okay to love who you are (we're don't have to be defined by our body weight), but at the same time striving for health shouldn't be ridiculed.

I am the last person on this planet who thinks fitting into a size 6 should be everyone's goal. If I end up a healthy fourteen..I'm good with that.



This has actually been my experience, too. Some people seem even offended by the concept of me actively trying to lose weight. Even when I say its for health, I get the rolled eyes thing.

BTW..some of the most beautiful women I've ever known were plus size and downright sexy. Again..I am not a thin is beautiful person. I just want to clarify that.

I went to a diet Dr. one time (never again) and he tried to put me on antidepresants because his theory was all overweight people are depressed that is why they are overweight - go figure??? I just thought it was because I LOVE FOOD!!!! and hate exercise - hmmm well needless to say I never went back. Sad that someone in his position is so quick to judge.

I'm sorry to hear that. What, specifically, were they struggling with health-wise and how, specifically, did their obesity directly cause it?

Struggling to walk, struggling to breath right, struggling to get out of a chair, struggling with the effects of diabetes, etc. I even know someone who was so heavy their ankles began to wear out. That sort of thing is really sad to see and breaks my heart. I'm not saying it was any of these people's fault they were overweight. It could be they had medical conditions to begin with, but again, the weight only made it harder on them.

I have a severe back injury. The thinner I am, the less it hurts. Extra weight on a body can make some physical conditions just that much worse.

This one woman at one of the application intakes (I surpervise a team of people who take applications from disabled and elderly homeowners to build them a new house with federal grant money) was in a wheelchair and so large, it took two people to push her. I guess at some point she had put her feet down on the floor, probably to ease her pain. She could not lift her feet back up onto the pedals. She asked me to do it, but there was no way I could. Her leg were heavier than me. It took two men to lift up her feet.

That is the sort of thing I see when on the job and it hurts me inside.

Obesity does cause wear and tear on a person's body and affects your quality of life. I see it and its heartbreaking.

When I became very overweight I stopped whitening my teeth, doing my nails and other things because I felt the only thing people would see about me is fat. The wonderful women on this site inspired me: I could have a life and be happy and purposeful no matter what I weigh.

When I went to the endocrinologists office last week (thyroid and diabetes dr) all the patients were overwt there. Some people can desire wt loss all they want but if they don't get the right medical treatment and diet advise from the dr it won't happen.

What is sad is how diets and meds doc give their patient often work against them in the weight department. My mother gained 50lbs on the diet her doctor put her on. She went on Atkins and her health issues cleared up as the weight fell off.

Fear or disdain? All I did was post an article and said the woman in the article was basking in her obesity. I stand by that. She's got a front page feature length article on her.

It's not that she's getting attention. She's getting it in the wrong way for the wrong reasons (isn't it awesome that I'm morbidly obese?), and as someone else pointed out, there's an overt hostility buried in there, as if I'm less for losing weight.

She needs to find a new cause not related to weight. But I'm not going to sit by and tell her that being 100 pounds overweight is healthy in the least. You all can do that all you want, but I refuse to.

What you hell?! I posted a link to an article, and simply said the woman was basking in her fatness, which I stand by. That's ALL I said and I posted the article because...wow...it deals with diet. What a strange concept to post it to a forum about diet and health!

She's not a "threat" to me. I thinks she's severely misguided, however, and looking for people to tell her that being morbidly obese is okay, and I'm sorry, but I don't believe it is.

But thanks for acribing motives to me.

So if someone is happy with their own body that just so happens to be drastically different than your ideal body...that somehow diminishes you?



It is pretty unlikely that she is going to fall in step with your limited perspective on this topic. And rightly so. More power to the fat activists that are making the world a better place for *everyone*.

Thank you. You have a way of saying what I want to but because the post is from me they automatically dismiss it.

You're the same height as me and trust me, you be a lot smaller than 14 at 145. That's what I weigh right now I can can fit anything between a 6 and a 10 (I wish they would standardize sizes!), but seem to be a tight 8 in most jeans. So at 145, depending on your bone structure and muscle mass, you'll likely be an 8-10. I'll never be my naturally skinny sister's 4/6. She's also 5'7" but with teeny tiny bones and is just naturally skinny.

She seems to think it does.

Pot...Kettle...you know the rest.