IMO, letting someone get away with making a rude or hurtful comment to your child is as bad as making it yourself. If Mom or Dad doesn't speak up, in a child's eyes, it means it must be TRUE.

I don't recall anyone ever making a disparaging comment about my weight to my face, but I'm sure there was lots of talk when I wasn't around. I'm very Type A, and don't suffer fools gladly, and I think people probably decided it was safer not to piss me off. However, since I've lost the weight, I've had people saying stuff like "you must feel so much better -- you used to be soooo fat!" and so on. In general, I think they are well-meaning, but it still bothers me. And my parents drive me crazy -- if anything can make me want to go on a food binge, it's my family. When I was fat, they criticized. Now that I'm relatively thin, they ask if maybe I shouldn't stop losing, or gee, do I think I'll gain it all back again? Enough to make me want to dive into a pit of junk food! (why is it that our families know just which buttons to push??!!)

Making mean comments about fat people seems to be the only openly tolerated form of bigotry in this country. Such a shame, and so counterproductive.

Wow, I was wrong, it can be worse. I'm sorry Myjourney for everything your dad is, that is the most asshole thing I've ever heard in my life about a dad doing something cruel to his daughter, short of sexual abuse. Your father deffinitely has some problems, no wonder you stay away from your family.

Honestly, it doesnt really bother me anymore. I came to terms with who my father is years ago and I have forgiven him. I refuse to let pain he caused me take up any space in my life. There is simply no room in my life for it and I will not give him that power. I have forgiven him for what he has done to me, I do not wish him any ill will but at the same time, as an adult, I can make the decision not to have him be a part of my life. The same way I can decide who I want as a friend and who I do not. I do not believe that just because he is my biological father he has some right to be a part of my life. He was rarely a part of my life while growing up and when he was around he made my life a living hell. The only people my heart breaks for is for my brother and sister(s). They still sometimes try and maintain some type of relationship with him and just end up heartbroken. When I hear of the stuff he does to my brother I usually just burst into tears, but there is nothing I can do. My brother is 22 years old and lost. I do blame a lot of that on my father. I wont go into it now, this isnt the time or the place, but it really just rips my heart out of my chest when I hear what he still does to them.

For now, I am very happy with my life. I live in a beautiful house, I have a wonderful boyfriend, 2 gorgeous cats, a successful career and I am getting healthier with each passing day. From what my mother tells me, he just got divorced again, he is all alone, everyone knows him for who he is and his tricks that he likes to pull so he is vacationing in Europe looking for a new business opportunity (read: more people to sc*ew over).

I don't want this thread to go off-base, but I feel the need to say that you are a very strong person. Forgiving is a divine skill, learned of the holy and the righteous. I'm glad to hear things are going well for you in your new life, and wish you continued success. Perhaps if anything, if you can forgive your father for being such a bastard, then I should easily forgive my sister. I moved out of my house and the tyrannical personalities in my life are gone finally, and it is so wonderful to feel that sense of freedom. Unfortunately, flesh and blood doesn't equate love necessarily, even though you think it would.

Pig
Fatass
Kool Aid - by my brother when I wore a red dress
Fatso
Fucken fatass - a slight variation from a total stranger no less
Fat


I think I could list more, but fat, fatso and fatass are the usual suspects - and that was just from my family! LOL

I as once told by a patient that I am such a pretty woman, maybe I should get gastric bypass! ( Mind u by looking at me I do not look like I need to lose that much.)

So sad, I think this lady had an eating disorder, she was at the most a size 5! The NERVE!

Now that I am at a normal body weight my sister is worse than ever.

As a kid she would call me "fat whore" or some variation of that as I wrote previously. Now she still finds cruel things to say that aren't weight related and some that are ("you dress like a whore" <-- theme here!!!).

Some of you know I was in a car accident last year and got some serious whiplash. Just prior to the accident I was planning a trip to Disneyland. I LOVE Disney. Obviously after the accident I couldn't go. Still can't.

Last week my sister called me to say they were going on a trip to attend a conference and was I aware that it was in Anaheim this year (normally I would go so she KNEW I knew where it was). Oh and that they would be going to Disney while they were there "not that it was that important to go there, just because it's close".

I put my sister's cruelty and lack of respect down to jealousy. I tend to have little to do with her.

People bully and torment others to make themselves feel powerful because THEY are the ones with the self esteem problems. They feel good about themselves by making other people feel bad (as in the "I did it because I knew it would make you cry")

Very thought provoking thread.

Julie

True Mousemom, in my experience, my sister criticized more when I was losing weight. The more weight I lost, the fatter and fatter I got according to her. How funny, now she's the one carrying the extra pounds. But she's so sensitive, I never mention it. She knows, and that's enough for me to bight the urge to say, "Look whose fat now!"

ok, I have some original ones. piglet,pig, petunia the pig. hog. lard a$$ ,dolly in reference to chest size. ummmm the list just goes on and on and it is really important to me to talk about it. I am a beautiful woman. I am a nice person. I have fairly good morals. I deserve to be treated with respect. I treat other people with respect. abusing people because of size is sick. talking about that abuse in a safe place is important. knowing its wrong,and teaching our children its wrong is important. ok.enought said.sorry.

I got called alot of names in grade school, all of which hurt-

(My top 10)

10. Lard*ss
9. She-Man (I HATED this one)
8. Fat*ss (I think everyone gets called this at some point)
7. Fatty McFat (This one is just redundant)
6. Land Whale
5. Landfill
4. Blubber Girl (At least it sounded like I was a super hero or something)
3. Giant
2. Mountain Girl (Stupidest one ever)
1. Not really a name, but more like a dialouge-

Stranger: "I'd hate to have her sit on me."
Me: "You'd better run, cause I got the urge to sit!"


They all hurt, though.

hmmm i was called many things besides your regular fat ass...

the name that stuck with me through high school was...

BOOM BOOM...yep that was my nickname.

thats ok all of those jerks are all REAL ugly now but i am loosing the weight.

As if this wasn't enough, some thought tonight dragged up the memory of another name I was called in High school. I quit the Freshman Football team just before school started, and the coach called me a "Dressmaker". He made sure that name stuck, and soon others were calling me the same name. God, I hated that basturd.

*bertha Butt
*fat Beaach
*big Mama

I am sorry for what everyone has gone threw.. that is awful.. In school I was thin.. And I didnt gain weight till my kids came. and no one said anything.

oooooo but the only thing that barthered me was from my supposed belovedit.. DH would say while I was eating dont you think you have had enough.. Do you really need to eat that..
now he says you need to eat something..

charmed