Thats kind of what I figured...lol. (about my email address)

yeah...I guess its really not that slow of a loss - I have been doing Atkins for 14 weeks and I am losing an average of 1.4 lbs a week...but I haven't seen much change in a while. I feel like I am doing something wrong but I know that I'm eating exactly what I should be and I don't cheat at all - I don't even lick my fingers when I make cookies for my husband or co-workers...and I make really good cookies - gooey rich stuff like chocolate caramel brownies. I have been so good.

I am staying at induction levels to lose faster and it doesn't seem to bother me at all - as a matter of fact it is a lot easier for me. I am thinking about moving on to owl but I haven't seen a steady weekly loss - I see it every 6 weeks so I don't know how to proceed with it - I wouldn't know if I am continuing to lose or not so I wouldn't know where my ccl is. So I am afraid to try it. I also have a hard time keeping in ketosis and it seems that I do have to be at extremely low levels to burn enough fat for it to register even trace amounts. I lost 12 pounds during the 2 week induction period which put me in the low range for metabolic resistance so I expected to have an easy time losing and had hoped to lose at least 2 pounds a week - instead I don't see hardly anything on an ongoing basis. I have been told to start owl - that it could kick up my loss...what do you think?

I have set a goal to be down 50 pounds by Christmas and there is no way that I am not going to make that goal. I did get on the scale this morning and it said that I am down to 180 - that is another 1/2 pound which brings me to a total of 20! (yeehaa!) Starting this wek I committed myself to focusing on being more active in the evening instead of lazing around and watching the TV and I am getting up early and either riding my bike or walking my pooch. I am going to start doing step aerobics at home in the evening too...to try to get in better shape for when my new stuff from "The Firm" gets here. I have always loved to exercise so that won't be a problem for me - I have just always had a problem putting exercise together with a good diet. I am going to sign up for a twice a week step class that I used to go to and I am going to do my firm stuff at home 3 times a week. I am excited to start seeing inches come off again. I am not discouraged at all - this is different for some reason - I just know that this weight is coming off for good. I feel it deep in the pit of my stomach.

Anyways...I am sorry that this turned out to be such a long post. I really don't have anyone to discuss my "dieting dilemmas" with and have been lurking here for so long...I guess that I should dive in and start posting huh? ;0) Thanks for listening and any advice would be welcome advice.

Jody

Jody,

Long posts are great. Post away. It sure looks to me like you are doing a great job. In fact, I think it is awesome progress. Have you thought about starting a journal. I am so glad I did. It helps me to look back and see where I've been. Plus, people post the most upbuilding things. Also, I found it useful to join a water challenge here. It is fun. I have been able to up my water from 0 to 64-96. Love to see you there. Debby


http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=252889

Come join us!!!!!!!

I am pretty much a cofident person with myself and am very content with my weightloss so far but there are times when I don't really see the success I've made thus far and go into moods where I feel like have not gotten anywhere but those days are usually brought because of my own fears that I will stay at the weight I am now and not successfully complete the journey that I've begun.At that point I start thinking that the body I'm in right now is only temporary and that I have the determination and will power to finish this and that I will not let my fears bring my down.

Wow...what A Response To My Post, Thanks Guys...its Weird To Think That All These Emotions Wil Vanish Once We Reach Goal Weight....what A Motivation, Huh?
Xxxx

Your kidding , right?

You really think that these thoughts and feeling vanish when you hit goal?
I don't think so......I do think that if we work hard at replacing these negative thoughts with positive ones and engage in conscious self -acceptance at the weight we are at today....then maybe when we hit goal, we can experience the joy of making goal.

I believe that when you allow rampant thoughts of self hatred to exist, they will live on in your mind and heart. We do need to make a conscious effort to not dwell in this negativity.

Judy's right on! If you hate yourself with 100 extra pounds or 10, without learning to accept yourself and replacing those negatives with positives... there's just no magic number on the scale that's going to make you suddenly look in the mirror and say "Yes. Now I'm worthy, whole, lovely and life is good!" It's the whole body image/self image thing.

I like myself more at my current weight than I did at 120 lbs. That might seem totally foreign, but it's true. I've learned that the size of my hips has no relation to who I really AM. Would I like to be thinner? You bet! Do I still have days where I feel like a huge fat cow? Yup... but I've also learned to finally challenge the idea in my head that today can't be a good day because I have heavy thighs.... does that make any sense to anyone, or am I rambling again? <sigh>

I think it makes perfect sense! It's related to the idea that you can live your life and pursue your goals NOW, without having to wait until you lose weight, or letting weight loss be your only goal.

I usually don't wander into this area, but something struck me about this thread.

At my highest weight I was 205. I had lost some before I started Atkins. I'm now 143. I still feel fat. When will these feelings go away?

I look in the mirror and I think "Gee, I'm doing a good job". Then DH takes a picture of me and I still see 10 chins, and my belly still looks terribly fat. I have a torn rectus abdominus muscle. The only thing that will help it is plastic surgery, a tummy tuck. DH does not support this idea at all. I hate my body. It wants to hold onto all of this weight. These last 20 pounds are impossible. I'm exercising and eating right, according to fitday. I'm monitoring my calories, but when I eat 10x my body weight I'm hungry all day, and that makes me irritable. Is there a magic weight where these feelings will go away? I doubt it, but I keep trying to hang in there.

HA! When you find out, let me know! Seriously, we are the hardest on ourselves. I know exactly what you mean and I'm hoping that time will make it easier to accept. I think you just have to spend some time in this new version of your body before it becomes "you".

I am so much smaller than I was, but I'm still mentally fat. And I'm terrified I always will be. It's like, "What the heck did I make all these changes for, if I'm just going to be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life, waiting for the fat girl I am to finally catch up with me?"

I'm desperately hoping, for me and for you, that the passing of time will solve all this.

Good Luck!

Thanks Polly! In some ways I feel so much better. But, in other ways I'm still extremely inadequate. I'm exercising and eating right, and the scale is stuck and I feel like I did 40 pounds ago. Hopefully this too shall pass.

Very interesting thread.

Off the top of my head, one of the things that keeps nagging at me is the fact that even though I've lost some weight, I actually feel fatter than I did before.

I'm guessing that by losing some of this excess weight, I'm getting real with myself, and I'm paying attention to what's really going on - whereas before...I was just in some sort of major denial about my weight gain.

But besides all of that...in terms of the question posed...

What does being fat make me feel like?

Oddly, it makes me feel somewhat voiceless. And...I've noticed a theme in some of the responses here - that sense of being invisible. For me, it's not so much feeling invisible in terms of whether I'm noticed or not...but more like I'm not being heard.

Maybe it all fits into the same thing - being invisible translates rather easily into feeling like you're not being heard. Not being seen, and not being heard.

Somehow, the "not being heard" resonates more for me.

Like I don't have a right to my own feelings. That somehow...because I've gained weight, I'm not someone to take all that seriously. That the extra fat covers it all up, and makes *me* less human, less real and less important.

Funny how being larger means sounding smaller.

As if the extra weight is smothering my voice. Muffling it.

Hard to say whether my perception is skewed due to lowered self esteem and I'm imagining or perhaps recognizing that I'm not being heard, or if ...I'm actually lowering my voice in order to make myself "go away".

Funny how being larger is a way of making oneself disappear.

(I'm shaking my head at that one...because I know that for myself, it's so true, yet...I'm amazed by the irony of it all).

I wonder if perhaps the reason I'm feeling bigger (despite being smaller) is because I'm afraid to speak...

I'm feeling fatter with each lost pound...

To keep those layers wrapped around me...so I can still feel safe.

The more I lose weight, the more frightened I become, and ...lo and behold...the fatter I feel.

Perhaps making myself feel fat is a way of protecting myself from being seen, from being heard.

Why am I hiding from myself? And why am I keeping myself from the world?

What am I so afraid of??????

Being fat sucks.

I have been overweight since I was 13 years old. I am the first born, the good child-never drank, never smoke, never even wanted/thought of doing any drugs. I got straight As. I was always everyones friend. no one ever wanted to date me. Everyone thought I was nice and happy all the time. I never wore anything nice b/c frankly I didnt think I was worth the $20 shirt. Even today, I dont buy myself nice things b/c I figure I look like a blimp so Ill wear target and Kmart and walmart stuf until I can fit into a size 14. Happy gal-that was me.

Meanwhile, I was dying inside. I was/am so embarrased. I am always the fattest person everywhere we go. I HATE feeling like a failure. I HATE feeling like Im going to die b/c Im so fat. I HATE feeling inadequate around thinner poeple.

I remember waiting in line one hour for a roller coaster to get on and not be able to fit into the seat. So, I had to walk off and listen to people snicker.

I remember the rude comments poeple would make to me.

I got my PhD in Pharmacology and Toxicology and I run a lab. Im very confident in my abilities, yet sometimes I hold back (Science wise). I still feel like Im not good enough, even though I know I do a great job. I feel like everyone is always looking at me wondering how I am so fat.

I dont go out much b/ cIm sick of being the fattest person everywhere I go and not being able to eat Frenhc fries, cake, etc that every one of myf riends eats constantly (yes, my 100 lbs friends)!

Im embarrased that I got to 262 and then decided to eat crap again and now Im up to 271. I feel like a failure...AGAIN. So, what do I do? Keep eating until I balloon up to 310 and cry and worry again. Im well on my way. Why? Who the heck knows!

OK-sorry for a negative post. ITs good to get out what I feel.

Im trying my dangest to do well for me, for my son and for my health. Im trying. Just once I wish I could feel GOOD --truly good-about me.

Have a great night. It feels good to get some of this out.

Vicki

I feel beautiful fat, but I wanted to know if people would treat me differently if I lost weight. I never felt "fat", I always felt normal and comfortable. There are times when I hate parts of my body, but that's not common. I usually feel confident about my body, but not when other people make nasty comments. When people say mean things I get angry at their insensitivity, whether the comment is because I'm too fat or too skinny or too whatever. They have no right to judge me. Self hatred is learned, but self love can be learned too and I hope that you all know you are beautiful at any size because think about it. It's not just size that can make people beautiful, nice hair, nice skin, a warm personality can ALSO make someone beautiful. The media was designed to make money off our insecurities. But you deserve to be happy and appreciate the skin you are in because soon you will have to deal with effects of aging and maybe even disease, you never know what can happen. I see myself in the mirror everyday and I see someone stunning in my eyes. I started being confident at an early age and read lots of self help books and I think that helped me alot.

How being fat makes me feel? Disgusting, repulsive, repugnant, invisible (or the need to be), ugly, unwanted, undesirable, outcast, asexual, failure, depressed, angry.

So much of my opinion of myself is tied directly into my appearance and as much as I realise this is WRONG and unhealthy, I can't help myself. Being fat makes me hide, hide, hide! Away from people, avoiding situations, under layers of clothes which will become increasingly impossible due to climate changes. And I know that reaching my goal weight is not going to suddenly change everything, I won't allow myself certain things until I do.

IT makes me feel ugly and therefore bad, as if those two things came together! i hate being fat! on top of that someone made the comment today i am lucky not to have kids cuz they would make me gain weight!!! as if i had chosen not to be able to have kids!!!