Hi Diane,
I was a hospice nurse then after losing my family to cancer in 3 years I was recruited as a case manager at the local hospital and now am the CM on the oncology unit. Many ask and really I don't know how I do it. I sent a 41 year old across the country today so she could go home to her parents house to die.

Hey, i have also have been having a hard time latley with my depression. It is hard for me too not be so black and white with my diet and exercise. I hate the job i am at and i really have not choice right now to where i am living and working. The alternative right now isn't any better, so i guess i just have to stick it out. Tryig to start college, but i haven't been modivated for anything latley. I hate not knowing why i am living.

I just wanted to post an update...

After venting on here this weekend, which I admit was quite cathartic, and going through a few PMs I got with advice, I finally had the motivation I needed to duke it out with my insurance company.

It took an argument with a supervisor that was, at minimum, quite draining. But, I think the results are fantastic.

The have agreed to the following:
1. Will pay for an initial visit/consultation with a psychiatrist and, based on his diagnosis, will cover medication. The psychiatrist is from a facility of their choosing and my copay is higher, but to me, still better than paying purely out of pocket.

2. Depending on his diagnosis (of which I hear there are strict guidelines, but they wouldn't tell me what they were) they may cover talk-therapy if it is recommended by the intial doctor. The doctor they will cover must be through a recommendation of my psychiatrist and must be at the same facility. Also with a higher than normal copay.

3. If they approve payment for medication and talk-therapy, it will be for, I think, 20 sessions. After that, my doctor has the option to re-up if based on my dianosis falling within strict insurance co guidelines.

Right now, I'm just hoping my doc knows my ins co inside and out so she doesn't diagnose me out of their guidelines accidentally!

So, the determination of the ins co was strict, but at least possible! 11 years is way too long to deal with this. My initial visit is on June 9th (couldn't afford the copay before then ) and I couldn't be more excited. I should probably take the excitement down a notch or else the doc is going to think I'm full of it when I tell him my symptoms

But I just wanted to post this for those in a similar situation. It IS possible to get help if you can muster up the energy for an argument with your HMO!

I feel terrible today.
Why do people think that people who suffer from depression feel sorry for themselves? I dont feel sorry for myself.
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People like that are just ignorant...if you have not walked in someones shoes.....
I have suffered with depression since I was 9 and most of the time I am a very upbeat, positive person (despite things) but when I crash...I crash and it has nothing to do with what I am thinking...I KNOW it is chemical and I can even trackck on the calender when I am going to have a bad day...yesterday was a day I know from my cycle & ovulation (and I am not talking about PMS either) that I was going to be depressed and guess what I woke up and boom in the middle of the day it just overwhelmed me...I know it sux
Take care of yourself

I was diagnosed with atypical Bipolar in 2000, with rapid cycling. I too am on meds, take them every day... but still something is just not right with me. I have read in the curves book about those who are carb sensitive, and how depression is one of the many syptoms as opposed to calorie sensitivity... I think it has to do with the mess it does on the insulin you produce... I am hoping that this new way of living will help, because I want to quit being house bound, and join the human race again.

Hi all,
Well my bout of depression keeps getting worse. My weight keeps going up too. I'll try a new day tomorrow. Has anyone ever thought that if you are cheating, eating high carb foods, that the faster you eat it the better so you don't know you are doing it for very long! Is that crazy or what!?
How do you find out if you are bipolar? The doc put me on Prozac, if I remember to take it I feel good. But I get depressed, don't care, and don't want to take it (I guess to hurt myself?). I've been off it for several days. I'll take one right now! I'll try another day tomorrow. I pray all of you like me try another day - the sun may shine?

Thankyou Laura! I don't know anyone in this town, so no one really knows what I go through on a personal level. When I get this way I just want to be alone. I am wondering if therapy will help? I don't know.....they will say the same old things....I've had so many psychology classes, I know what they are going to say.....what do you think I should do? thx a lot, Gina

Prozac never helped my low times........I have never been suicidal....yet, when I get low....nothing really helps. My ex boyfriend told me it was all in my mind. Now here he is two plus years later writing me and waiting to date me again. I dont know if I can date anyone who doesnt try to understand me...... I've had those days where I feel that extra carbs wont hurt, they usually dont.....yet, they mess up my weight loss....I havent gained since cheating, yet, I havent lost either. take care, Gina

I hear ya on the house bound part...........If I had some friends who actually cared, maybe I could get out more......most of the people my age are married, and I am not into hanging out at bars.......Gina

Thankyou!!! I started this thread thinking no one would understand, and that it would be left unread.......I get the "never waking up again feeling alot"

I really dont feel sorry for myself.....I am just tired of all the uncaring people in the world...."this is the only thing that bothers me" I wont go into all that goes with that statement...

I think my depression started when I was molested as a very young child. It got worse the last couple years after I experienced some trauma. I have a fear of leaving my son with strangers or leaving him home alone while I work so my work is limited. It's not really a fear....so to say, i just want to know what he is doing.
when he was 4 yrs old he was orally molested by his babysitter, "a boy who was wearing a scream outfit and tried to stab him several times"

I think I may have blamed myself for leaving him, I dont know. He is almost 12 now and a very good boy, he is on the honor roll every semester and is a well mannered good kid. I try to be a stay at home mom to help him, I am broke yet happy to see him happy. I like to be able to see what he is doing and how he is doing, is this wrong?

Hi Everyone...I feel so weird because anyone who knows me from this forum knows what an optimistic person I usually am. I'm tired of fronting...I suffer from depression and I thought I had it licked. I know now that you never do...you just have more control over it sometimes.

Right now is a particularly hard time for me. June 9th will be the second anniversary of my daughter, Taryn's death. She was 17 and was killed in a car accident. I'm not doing so good today...
I have read all of your stories and identify with all of you. I'm just glad to know that I'm not alone in this although I don't wish this on any of you. I need to start posting here once in awhile...

KryssiMc......I don't really know what to say to you (I never know what to say in these type of situations....words just don't do it)....but I want you to know that my thoughts are with you.

Sorry to hear about your daughter's death. ALl i can say is there are no mistakes in life. God has things happen for a reason. She is probably being taken real good care of and is waiting for you when it is your time. God Bless.

I am 43 but suffered from depression since my early 20's, though I did not know what it was. About 8 years ago I started zoloft and took my self off them. It did not work. My depression is genetic and not emotional. I have been on paxil for several years now and it has changed my life for the better.

The point of this story is that you may want to stay on the meds and let it let you live you life.

I hope this is helpful!