Hi all, I have a touchy topic, so I thought I would raise it in here.

***DISCLAIMER: I am not talking about nor criticising anyone who is one one of the plans that allows this IN COMBINATION WITH a LOT of exercise (such as BFL) or other strict rules (such as CAD) my point is NOT to bash those WOEs. My point is: Pick or design a plan and stick with it, but please STOP turning to others enjoying (working hard) on their plans and expect them to feed you excuses for your own failure***

Begin rant:
I am really just *up to here* with the countless questions/excuses/rationalizing regarding going off plan and "eating what you want."

We all came here to get healthier and lose weight.

I don't understand why there's always SO MUCH chatter about refeeds/one meal a week of whatever (junk) I want/carb up/carb blowout/INSERT FANCY TITLE OR EXCUSE TO EAT THAT JUNK HERE.

Or worse! "I quit. I am going to have pizza and nachos whenever I want, the size of my arse be damned! This WOE doesn't work because it's not all GONE in a *tenth* of the time I put the weight on!!"

Then let the excuses and rationalizing begin. And they wonder why they stall.

Everyone says here over and over (and OVER) that *Frankenfoods are not that great and can make you stall! So leave them alone!*

And yet? Every day, there are a few new people who break their plan all to pieces with those things, then are surprised when they have issues.

Or, the alternative: Oh NOOOOOO I accidentally ate a slice of pizza!!!!!1!!1 posts everywhere.

How does one accidentally EAT seomething? Your mouth is in your head thus connected to both your eyes and your brain and your brain controls your mouth and your hands.

Stop it. Stop accidentally eating stuff you know is BAD for you, and if you won't? Then at least stop having a panic attack about it after the fact.

Either do not eat the stuff you should not, or do. But make a choice and stick with it.

Frankly, I want to offer support whenever and wherever I can, but the 15th panicked hyper post of someone who "accidentally ate a big pile of nachos at a restaurant" just makes me cringe. It is honestly hard for me to feel like taking the time to write out a carefully considered and drafted post for someone I don't even know but wish to help anyway, just to have them totally IGNORE everything *we all* had to say to them, then watch them come back and state that they did the EXACT POLAR OPPOSITE of what a whole gaggle of LCers told them to do when they asked.

So, to the people who are always asking the same questions in different forms and places: But if I just eat (insert junk here) on just these (insert some occasion/day of the week/other excuse here) then will that be OK?

My answer: Well. Will it? Will it be OK with YOU if your weight loss takes a week or month or year longer? Will it be OK to be dependant on those bad carbs like a crack addict to the cocaine? Will it be OK when you fall off completely because you have not yet learned to control yourself? Will it be OK when you have gained BACK 10 lbs or more which you NOW have to drag allll the way back UP that slippery slope of bad food choices with you? Would it be OK with you if someone forced you to eat things you know you shouldn't? No? Then why work so hard to find a reason to do it to yourself?

If all of the above is NOT OK with YOU, then just stop it.

People go on and on about how good they feel/think/etc. How WONDERFUL this is, then they turn around and want to mess themselves up by "fishing" for a reason why it's OK to sabotage themselves. It's like they want someone else to say "sure" so that when they fall down the slippery slope of excuses and bad choices, they can say: But those people in the forum said it was OK so it's their fault. Thus completing the chain of not taking responsibility for oneself. That is how a lot of us got here people, it's not the way to get better.

Also, those who are constantly excuse fishing don't need our permission to screw up your plan - you can do that just fine on your own.

Bars and shakes do not a Low Carb WOE make, people. LEAVE THE CRAP ALONE! Otherwise, you are just trading one problem for another. Do you really want that?

We are all smart, responsible people - or we would not be here trying to change ourselves.

All I am trying to say here, is that if we came here to change ourselves, then for goodness' sake, let's ALL stop making excuses and just do it!

Also, I would like to point out, that if you have been one of those people posting like that - and you don't get answers you want to hear, you can pretty much rely on the fact that what I've written above is why. I know for a fact other people feel the same way I do, but I needed to say it, finally, out loud.

I prefer to help people who actually want the help, not just an easy excuse to go off plan just to mess up weeks or months of success just to have that one quick failure.

This is a whole new path. You cannot use your old map on this new path and if you try you'll only end up lost in the woods. Get a new map.

Sheesh, I guess that's all.

In closing, I would like to just send best wishes to everyone on their plans!
~Kimberly

I hear ya, Kim.

Truer words were never spoken....

I couldn't have said it better.

--nw

I agree.

To be honest, I recently tried out a day off Atkins (have been on it for a very long time), trying what I used to eat, because I wanted to see how I felt, if it would jolt my metabolism, and maybe I wanted an excuse to eat a little junk. I learned: I don't like the taste of sugar AT ALL, or bananas, I don't like what it does to me. Black eyed peas still taste divine, and don't make me feel bad. The taste of bread is great, but I would probably be satisfied with exactly one bite-- I don't like how I feel after eating a whole sandwich.

I think that knowledge is helpful. I wouldn't recommend anyone else try it unless they're willing to deal with the feeling-nasty consequences, but I'm a bit of a masochist. Second hand information is really no substitute for personal experience, and I'm better armed now against the cravings.

But I definitely wouldn't categorize what I did as "accidental", and I wouldn't seek sympathy for the massive water retention!

Rant away girl! I agree.

I have tried a cheat day and it to put it in a non lady-like way...it sucked. I think sometimes we all have to try.

But, while you rant, remember this...


People say that there eating was accidental, and I agree with you that it is not accidental or unconcious or anything else. However, people have emotional issues with food or reasons why they eat the food they eat, and for that, we just have to feel bad for them. They will realize soon enough that almost ANY diet will work for them if they just stick with it, but that their deep down issus with food will never go way until they are dealt with.

Personally, I don't respond to those posts. Why? Because I think that the people really know deep down what they HAVE TO DO. I don't think telling them that it is "all ok" will make it better. In the end, they cheat. They fail. They go back to their old ways of life. Sad for them. I suggest if those make you angry, which they clearly do, then don't even read them.

AMEN.

I am no long term resident of this forum, but I do come here everyday on multiple occasions to find answers/support/motivation. I know there have been a great deal of questions, as stated above, but I'm attributing that to the fact that there are a lot of people here for their first-third time that have similar questions to what we all had when we first started. However, I would encourage all those people to search the forum first before asking anyone to justify your need for the cookie.

Thanks again for the post, this was a great first read of the morning.

Agreed! Hence my rant here, as opposed to within a thread of someone asking those questions.

Hey, if they have the right to fish around for excuses for their behaviour, I have the right to rant about it in the War Zone *instead* of being rude to anyone in their "Fishing for an excuse to cheat...AGAIN" thread.

Finally, on food issues which are purely psychological: No plan will work if only the symptoms (the extra weight) are addressed. The cause (why they got that way in the first place) must also be dealt with in order for anyone to truly succeed.

I think more and more, that the majority of overweight/obesity is caused by the consumption of too many "convenience" (processed) foods and sedentary lifestyles.

Sure, sometimes continuing obesity may become psychological after years of feeling bad about oneself about it, but I really believe that MOST of ALL overweight/obesity is caused by nothing more than poor choices and lack of willpower. You know "the easy way."

I agree that there are some people who are "emotional eaters" but that's not everyone, and that's also NOT most of these people. The habit of an emotional eater would be just to eat the "whatever" they wanted. What I believe we're seeing here, what I described in my post, are in the majority, people who just "don't wanna" do the work of learning something new. They want the benefits without the sacrifices (if you can call not eating stuff that hurts you a "sacrifice").

Also? If someone is an "emotional eater" and they know it, then maybe, in addition to being here and working on the OUTSIDE, it would not hurt them to see a counselor and work on the inside as well. Otherwise? Anytime life throws a curve ball at these poor folks, they're right back to square one.

That's no way to live. Survive? Sure, but live? Nah.


~Kimberly

You certainly DO have the right to your opinion. I'm just curious as to why it's so important to you?

Hi there


It's important to me because I feel badly when I see other people *repeatedly* put themselves through needless suffering and pain - both physically and emotionially - especially when they have enough moral support here to bolster an army.

I really care about the people to whom I reply every day. I care about their success and their happiness.

I guess I am just quirky that way.

However, I also feel frustration at times, reading what I've read around here, and I felt the need to vent it. I don't think that's really too hard to understand.


~Kimberly

I agree with you that not all people are emotional eaters. Personally, I am not an emotional eater, but I just LOVE ALL food. Which, I think, is why Atkins works for me.

I think it is really hard to watch people put themselves through the " loose weight, gain weight" struggle. It is sad to watch people do that, but don't feel that you have to be the person to take on their issues, or endure their bad eating behaviors. It is THEIR personal decision. And really...thank god for that. Because I think we all have enough to deal with worrying about our own personal goals and health than to take on the weight loss strife of others.

So, they eat a piece of pizza. When I see that, I just say to myself..."Boy, am I glad that wasn't me!" LOL

A lot of people want to blame anyone or anything but themselves for their weight problems.... until someone is ready to admit that the only person who can stop their behavior is themselves there will continue to be the "I ate ****, HELP!" posts.

Temptation is hard to resist unless the individual has made the decision to change. All we can do is continue to provide support and (hopefully) help them realize that they have the power to change themselves.

Oh I don't normally...but how many times have you looked into a HELP! forum, thinking, Oh! I hope I can help only to find the kind of thing I mentioned above?

This is called a Support Forum for a reason, so I think it's right to "Support" people - but when I click on a post, read, see yet more beating around the bush, it irks - and the thing is, until I READ the post, I don't know what they need help with, do I?

"Also, did I mention this was a rant? Reason really has no place in it..."

(I think I heard that on Buffy LOL!)

Happy LCing!
~Kimberly

Exactly!

~Kimberly
P.S.: As much as I don't wanna right now...would rather read the forum I am of to RUN on my Elliptical!