you feel bored with the food, deprived of "something," even if you're not sure what it is, fed up with being so totally consumed with food and body image or weight or otherwise "WOL-challenged?"

Or maybe I'm the only one who feels this way.

I'm having a very very VERY hard time lately staying on plan--it seems to have started right after Mark had his kidney stone. I'm just wondering if anyone else experiences times when their sheer will keeps them on the plan, and what do they do to get past it?

I don't know how much longer my sheer will will hold out...it's already failed me several times in the last few weeks. No "real" damage yet, but I'm frightened enough by my past failures to be worried about the fact that I can't drum up the joy for the food and the WOE that I had just a couple months ago. The worst part about it is that I can't identify what it is I feel like I'm being deprived of. I just know that when I look at my food, I think, "ugh."

Elle, I've experienced the same thing more than once. Though I'd love to lose another 20 lbs, I can't even summon up the determination to make the changes necessary to my food to do so. I'm maintaining and giving anything up at this point seems too hard. I'm burnt out on dieting. Completely burnt out. I've been doing this since September 2003.

I have an edge over you though, I came from a much higher weight. It isn't something I'd ever wish on anyone, but the difference in what my life looks like and feels like at 300 lbs and 170 lbs is amazing. Absolutely amazing. I cannot pass a mirror without feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I don't weigh 300 lbs anymore. I think it's knowing where I'll end up if I don't stick to my plan that makes it easier to stick with it.

However, I don't expect myself to be on plan 100% of the time. I can't do this perfectly for life. I'm just not prepared to be in a state of denial constantly. That all or nothing thing works for some, but not for me. I operate on more of a 90%/10% on plan/off plan ratio. It's probably closer to 95%/5% even, but I do get that 5% of time that I can share a dessert with my husband at dinner out, have half a cup of mashed potatoes with Easter dinner or whatever.

I'm not sure if this addresses what you asked about very well or not. All I know is that, for me, if I'm going to stay this weight for a lifetime, this has to be a way of eating that I can stick to for a lifetime. And never being able to eat another slice of birthday cake or piece of my father-in-law's amazing Irish soda bread isn't something I can do forever.

Val

[QUOTE=ElleH]you feel bored with the food, deprived of "something," even if you're not sure what it is, fed up with being so totally consumed with food and body image or weight or otherwise "WOL-challenged?"


Boy or boy, are you reading my mind or what???! lol The past few days I've been feeling so bored with my choices of food and I have NO idea why! Must be something good is on the verge and "the temptor" is trying to beat me out of the blessing! Thing is I'm far from maintenance and feeling this way. Ikes, what am I gonna do when I get there...

Elle - I can relate to what you are saying. I have been there! I was already in maintenance (like you) and just dove head-first into high-carb foods. Like you, I didn't gain much of my weight back but I knew I was on a slippery-slope. I'll spare you the details of my high-carb dive, but let's just say it was NOT good!

With the help of a dear friend from this forum, I realized that I was depriving myself of certain types of foods. I was so afraid of gaining my weight back that I bascially refused to try new foods. Instead, I stuck to my standard (i.e. limited) food selections. And I got terribly bored. And then I dove into the first high-carb food I coudld find.

My friend helped me realize that there were LOADS of not-high-but-not-zero-carb foods out there that add variety to my eating. Foods that made me feel like I was eating something totally new while at the same time adding variety to my meals. Sure, I had to watch my portions but overall it opened my eyes and my taste buds. And I've not have a high carb-dive since then.

For me, I got stuck in a low-carb rut and was just plain-scared of getting out of what I knew worked for me. But I had to, in order to make this a successful way-of-eating that I can live with. I realized I can add variety, without adding pounds on the scale.

And now, I'm going strong and will never look back. I'm always trying some new recipe, new veggie, new yogurt (just tried greek yogurt and I'm HOOKED ) - anything to keep my eating different.

Isn't there a saying "Variety is the spice of life"? I believe nothing could be truer for those of us living the low-carb way of life.

I wish you the best.....

You are both correct! It is the exhausting part of the dieting and trying to lose just a few more pounds and the lack of variety.

I will ponder both of those and thank you so much for bringing it up! I knew they were both factors, but to hear OTHERS say they have felt the same way...and more importantly, were able to solve it, help A LOT. Thank you both.

I know that I should just move on toward maintenance, b/c this induction/binge/induction/binge cycle is just so NOT GOOD. I haven't added any new foods or even eaten the others I had tried, I have simply been binging and then losing the weight (plus a few more) from that. I actually don't mind the idea of occasionally eating off plan any more--not binging of course, but things like you said, Valerie. I'm starting to come around to the idea that to say that "I will never ever have those things again" after maintenance is not realistic and may actually feed the deprivation cycle.

I know that today, after yesterday having some potato chips, some mashed potatoes, and a piece chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream, I'm not feeling deprived, and I'm not having cravings. Yes, I could have used some restraint and eaten less of those things, but the point is, is that IT WORKED. I'm not feeling deprived today, and I actually have more energy than I have had in a long time. I don't get it, but I feel it is something I have to at least explore the idea that I need more carbs more frequently. Maybe my carbs were just too low.

And Leslie...the rut, the rut! It gets all of us, doesn't it. I'm going to make a concerted effort to try some newer things. There are a lot of things I just DON'T LIKE, like yogurt and fruit and hummus and beans and stuff like that, but there are still things I could be trying, and I could be allowing myself some variety in the LC foods, too. For pete's sake, I should even be occasionally eating my wonderful homemade red sauce on Dreamfields by now with big juicy meatballs! But nooooo...I have to try to lose "just a few more pounds..." I have to seriously rethink this.

Let me add that I also agree with Val - just a few weeks ago I ate a yeast roll while the family and I were out for dinner. It's the first yeast roll I've eaten since I started this WOE, and I enjoyed every single bite of it. I didn't gain my weight back, I didn't dive head first into a big ol' carb fest - I just got right back on plan. And it was just fine and *shock* my pants buttoned the next day.

I'll take a jar of your homemade red sauce, Elle.

Elle. I identify with you 100%. I have been lowcarbing since 1995 and have been through this same problem countless times. The boredom is the most frustrating thing for me. However I have read your whole profile and I think you have got this' lc diet' thing right. You have not gone mad with exercising, you have not driven yourself crazy trying to drink a bathtub of water everyday and you have come up with plans and food choices that ARE manageable for YOU on this WOE.
I came to realise about five years ago that when I got to the goal weight the whole challenge disappeared and emotionally I still didn't feel slim/skinny enough - I have exactly the same stats as you and have been down to 120 (I am 42) - still felt imperfect even though every one around me thought I was like a stick insect at that weight! It was always, "well let's see if I can get into a size 2 now that I'm in a size 4". I went out one day and got one of those unsuspecting glimpses of myself in the mirror and I looked like death warmed up. Forget the fact that I beat myself up every single day if I didn't do an hours treadmill! Anyway not to bore you too much with my pursuits but I finally came to terms with the fact that being 5'7 and 140 - 150lbs was a manageable weight for me. In the summer I tend to be lower and in the winter a bit heavier. I think it is very reasonable to accept a weight difference of 10lbs (especially at my age). BTW you have done a fab job and I think you are more "together" than you realise, so hang on in there!

Hi Elle!

I'm sorry that you're having a tough time moving into maintenance. Its difficult to all of a sudden, see that we are not going to be losing weight any longer and that's scary...we get so good at losing and the high that comes with seeing the scale go down...that staying the same weight loses it appeal and the shot of adrenalin each morning when we see a good loss on the scale is gone.

This is what I went through when I first hit goal and saw maintaining on my horizon. The good part of what I did have was a large variety of foods that I'd discovered while I was still losing that fit the parameters of my plan. I knew that I needed to have a lot of foods to chose from so that I would not feel bored and or deprived.

I'm like Val and Leslie in that I'm on plan about 95% and go off about 5%, (more like 98/2 for me)even then its truly a once in a while treat that I allow myself....think NYC bagels!! I love them!! So I allow myself to have one about once a month. Same thing with the Dreamfields, once a month, if that.

I think that we each need to come to terms with our bodies and what is a good weight range for us to be happy at.....how it feels in your skin, how you feel in your clothes, how you feel you look in your clothes.

Weight loss can be addictive in and of itself.....its getting off that addiction that can be hard. I've realized that staying the same weight is a reward in itself.....and harder than losing.....but I feel that I'm off the dieting yo-yo.....I hope that I am....I like it where I am now.

Thanks you guys SO MUCH!

I know that a big part of the challenge is gone when the weight loss stops and the *rush* you get from stepping on the scale and seeing a loss. So true, so true.

I didn't weigh myself today. I want to try to wean myself off that *rush* Not that I've been getting it lately!

I just cannot tell you the comfort I get from knowing that others feel the same way, that I'm not just some nut-job (oh wait...I *am* a nut-job! ) with crazy ideas about my weight and food. The greater comfort comes from knowing that it can be overcome, too. I know that it will always require diligence on my part. I'm praying that I'm up for challenge! I really *like* my body now...not *love,* mind you, but l *like.* And *like* is good.

Very powerful statement, Elle. Because I firmly believe that NONE of us see ourselves as others do. What we *like* about our bodies, others *love* or would *love to have*. I had to accept that I will never see myself as the perfect size and instead appreciate the compliments I receive from family and friends that say stuff like "I'd LOVE to be built like you." Helps me keep it in perspective......

For the record, I think you look great!!

I've been doing a lot more thinking about this...now that I've had several days of high-fat, high-calorie days and feeling very good again...I decided to copy what I wrote in my journal today.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I have noticed a trend...it goes something like this:

I'm doing really well, eating 1600-2000 calories per day, good energy, decent moods, good sleep, exercise going well. Then, I'm like, "I feel so good on 1800 calories, & 150g fat, & 80g protein, and 20g net-carbs, let's see how I feel on just a little bit less!" I bet I'll drop a few pounds then, too."

So then, the next day, I'll drop the fat a little. Or the protein a little. Or the carbs a little. Or heck, even all of it a little. Next thing I know, after about 2 days, I'm eating 1300 calories. Thinking that all is well. Feeling pretty strong and powerful that I can "get-by" with 1300 calories. But I also notice that I'm snapping at Mark and/or the kids a little. I'm wishing everyone would leave me alone and feeling a little overwhelmed with life. I also notice that food that normally does not tempt me AT ALL, is starting to look kinda yummy.

Then that 3rd day, I'm down to 1200 calories. Off-plan foods are looking really good to me. I'm thinking about binging, but trying to fight it off, wondering why the LC plan is failing me, when it's supposed to control my cravings? But it's not the plan that is failing me...it's ME failing ME. My children are looking at me like, "who are you and what did you do with my Mama?" Mark is shaking his head. He knows what's coming.

Later that afternoon or evening the kids get into an argument or dinner isn't ready at 6 pm and I'm shaking from hunger, and, I snap.

I lose it.

I'm a blithering cranky mess and I eat whatever I can get my hands on, usually chocolate candy, the kind that I would normally turn up my nose at. The weird thing is, I DON'T feel terrible next day. I feel GOOD. I have energy. My tummy is a little sore, but I'm always shocked at how GOOD I feel after I indulge.

For Pete's sake, I was HUNGRY. My body was driving me to get more food. ANY FOOD. I feel better b/c I got enough calories. My tummy is upset b/c I ate things that I don't normally eat. Lesson...Eat enough FOOD, dufus!

This is my assessment of what is happening with me. I'm more likely to eat for emotional reasons when I'm hungry and dissatisfied. I'm less likely to eat for emotional reasons when I'm chock full of tasty protein and yummy fat.

I've already achieved a really good weight. Why can't I just be happy with that? Why am I driven to lose "just a few more pounds?"

I would really like to see myself continue to eat my 1800 calories of high fat, do my light, fun exercise and take more weight loss as (or even if) it comes. But I might as well be honest and say that I don't know if that will happen. I want to get as low as I can, without cutting anything else from my diet. Dierdra was able to get to the 130's doing pretty much the same thing...I WANT TO, TOO! I think I could be pretty pleased with 139! It would be out of the 140's and anything less than 140 represents being pretty thin and fit for me, based on how I looked at that weight in the past.

I don't know what to do about carbs at this point. I'm just happy that the last few days I have made it to 20 net-carbs and haven't had a binge! That will have to be enough for now. When I feel more comfortable, I'm going to go back to adding 20g twice a week. I really enjoyed that...

I read about someone that had lost a lot of weight but when she reached her goal she kept binging and would gain then have to loose it again and she came to the conclusion that her weight loss had consumed her life for so long that it had become her focus and she looked forward to seeing that scale go down. When she reached her goal she was lost - wasn't sure how to just be happy with maintaining, missed that feeling of accomplishment when she would have a large loss so she would binge and gain then have something to focus on again - trying to loose the weight. Elle I'm not saying this is you but I could see myself falling into this situation and wonder if others don't also.

I don't think so. I have thought back over my history of this type of behavior and I can always trace it back to trying to creep my food intake down down down, then losing control from sheer hunger, feeling like a failure and then throwing in the towel. This time, I don't feel as much like a failure, but that if I understand it, I can deal with it, much the same way I feel about my depression.

Thanks for the input!

I hope that you don't mind a bit of feedback from me, Elle.....You speak of the stress in your life around your kids and I wonder if controlling your food intake is a way for you to feel as if you have control over something in your life....what you put into your mouth and your weight.

I say this only because this has been a pattern of mine and that's why I see this for you too. Sometimes just being aware of a pattern of behavior can help us to find other ways to deal with the stress. When I went to OA meetings 10 yrs ago, I would listen to all the other women's stories and I learned so much about myself from listening to them. The spiritual aspect of the program was something that touched me deeply and has enabled me to find some peace around food and my body.

Have you ever attended any OA meetings?

Judy, I definitely think that it has become a coping mechanism in and of itself! That's one of the reasons I'm trying to learn to eat how I "feel" best, instead of to lose weight. My goal really is to "learn" from the planning, and then be able to eat more intuitively based on what I've learned.

It's already happening. I'm basically down to planning my dinner based on what I intuitively ate at breakfast and lunch...when I used to plan the whole day! So the breakfast and lunch have become more "natural". My biggest issue now is, amusingly, making sure I eat enough each day! And that is kinda FUN, really, when you consider the alternative!

Thanks for pointing that out. It's amazing what we will grab onto to feel *some* control over our lives and our surroundings, isn't it?