I am more like Whofan... In fact, I feel a little hurt if people don't tell me how slim I am looking. It's babyish, I know, but I want the praise, approval and positive feedback. I feel great pride that I have accomplished this weight-loss. I know I was fat before. That's why I went on a diet. That said, I think it maybe depends on the way it's said and the situation. If someone I didn't know very well came up and made a bit of a fuss in front of others I didn't know at all exclaiming how much weight I had lost, I would feel as if they were exposing how fat I'd been before, and I would be mortified.

I am sure that most comments on weightloss are meant as compliments. There are few people who wouldn't like to lose some pounds, and even though those pounds look insignificant to you, they seem more significant to the person who is carrying them. Most have tried to lose weight, and failed. They therefore see it as a cause for congratulation and praise if you have achieved something they cannot manage. We all praise eachother on this site for achievements, and real life is no different, really.

Try to be kind to yourself, and don't beat yourself up about the weight-gain. Try to see praise from others as a gesture of goodwill and kindness, and respond in the same vein, finding something about them to compliment. Learning to accept compliments is a bit of an art, and we all need to develop it, partly because it is good manners and gracious to accept them, and partly for our own good, because if we push away the positive, then all that we allow in will be the negative.

Well there's always that fear but it's a separate issue really. I actually relate more to this sentiment...



Slim teenager? Yes...relatively. I was 150 and 5'6. I never felt thin enough though.
All my friends had flat stomachs and I didn't.
I'd also have to hear them talking behind other girls backs who wore a size 11 and "omg, that's sooo fat!"
I didn't take part, because I knew what it was like to be bullied about weight having been an obese pre-teen. However, I was hearing it while sitting there wearing size 13 junior jeans...or more likely size 10 womens jeans because junior sizes and low-rider jeans that were in fashion then didn't fit my body right.
I hope this comparison doesn't offend anyone, but I'd imagine it'd be like a gay teenager listening to his/her friends make homophobic comments.

There were exceptions. In high school I did have guy friend who was very overweight, and I once commented that I knew what it was like. His instant response was "No, you don't!"
He's the one I told.

Then in college I maintained the same weight and grew 1 extra inch at 18. Things started changing then because if I'd make an offhand joke about being fat, they'd look at my like I was insane.
However, then I gained the weight back after graduation....and yeah. As I mentioned, I've now moved, so most people have only seen me like I am now and I want to scream "THIS ISN'T ME!"
The way you look at it, as them seeing the real you, is a good way to turn it around. At the moment, I feel like they think the fat woman is the real me but...maybe it's me that still thinks that even after all this time. Ugh.




LOL. Awesome idea! Oh, and I totally believe you when you say it'll work.

Well said.

I'm like you. Hate anyone commenting on my body.

That said, when people did comment, usually "You've lost weight" I would give a very brief reply, "Yes I did." with no further comment and most people move on. If they complimented me, I would just say thank you and leave it at that.

People get the hint very quickly. Even insensitive people.

I work with teens and one cool thing I noticed is that none of them have noticed at all. They just don't see adults in the same way. And it makes me think they don't think about their classmates all that much either beyond "yeah he's fat or yeah he's short or yeah she has boobs" and then they move on to other topics. Teens do not obsess over OTHER teens bodies, just their own. It makes me regret my self consciousness from those years because nobody really cared but me.

Frankly, I like people to notice that I have lost weight. That's the reason that I'm trying to lose weight - to LOOK BETTER (for my eyes and other people's eyes) and to feel better.

People can't help having eyes and having a brain and NOTICING THINGS. Ignoring the obvious can be insensitive, too.

If I were to notice your weight loss and comment, you should take it as a compliment.

Yeah, that's kind of how I feel the only was I can think of to handle it. Say "Thank you" and nothing more.



I was super self-conscious as a teen, but then someone did put it to me that way. They asked how often I thought about what other people's bodies compared to how often I worried about my own, and that it was probably the same ratio for everyone. That made me feel better because it took a lot of pressure off.

I don't know that teens never notice/never think about adults' bodies. I remember as a teen there were plenty of times when boys would talk about how the student teacher had a nice ass, how the princpal's moustache made him look like a porn star, how such and such female math teacher was fat with thinning hair. The girls were a little less graphic about it, but they would comment on adults bodies under certain circumstances too.
So it isn't that they don't think about it at all, but no, they won't comment to an adult about their body. To each other maybe, but not to an adult.

I'm not worried about comments from children of any age, though, because I'm never around kids or teens.
I get what you mean though. I do wish I'd been less self-conscious then, and was less so now!