I still have a large flabby stomach, and I still don't fit in the clothes that I was wearing the last time I weighed this much.

But I was OK with it, knowing that it just takes time. And my clothes covered up my flab, so no one really saw it. Well, until I had to go to the hospital last week...

I had a bug bite abscess on my side, and had to go to the ER. So I had to pull up my shirt to show every doctor and nurse that came in, and show them my flabby stomach - in all it's glory!

Everyone was very professional, no one said anything unkind. But in my head I feel like they are saying - geez, why don't you lose some weight??? What a slob! Maybe if she wasn't so fat she wouldn't have gotten an abscess!

OK, it's just in my head - nobody really said that to me - and I know it's stupid, but... I can't help it!

In the past I have gone to doctors about health issues and been told that the only reason I was sick or in pain was because I was fat. That if I would just lose weight, I wouldn't have these problems. That they would put me on a diet, but they knew I would not stay on it. That I am fat, fat, fat!

This was even after I had lost up to 40 lbs on a previous diet - and it was demoralizing!

So how do you deal with those negative messages in your head - when it's YOU making you feel bad about yourself?

There is a sub-Forum here on Emotional Issues & Body Image. http://forum.lowcarber.org/forumdisplay.php?f=121

Just happened that I posted about a free book today...guide to a Healthy Body Image. Author comes from an eating disorder perspective, but she gives concrete steps to a healthier self image. Seems that some of those actions would work in this case too...positive notes about your own beauty, throw out the scale and fashion model images, etc.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008LCP7PW?tag=kiq-free-e-20

Thanks Jey - I will check both of them out! I also was looking in the Best Of... forum and found a great thread - "Question for those who have lost 50+ pounds" - very inspiring!

I love Jey's advice, but I would like to also add that you have lost a substantial amount of weight, and you are probably not looking as fat as you think. You probably did have some health issues due to your weight before, but now you're reducing, those health issues will start to diminish, as will any comments from medics.

I'd also recommend that you try some cognitive behaviour therapy, which helps you to challenge negative thoughts. This is a really good book which teaches the techniques in a simple way:

http://www.amazon.com/Coping-Depres...n/dp/0550205179

I'm the opposite of you - once I have dieted for a day, I am convinced I will have lost 8lbs. lol

Good luck with continuing your diet.

wow it is hard.

I am a self sabotage body image type. but as I get older I am getting better.

at 51 I am coming into my own where I believe that I 'am not on display' like I was when younger. And I am saying more and more, I don't care what others think anymore. And I am applying that into all aspects of life.

I can't live my life to even think about 'pleasing' a stranger who probably isn't even thinking 'what I think' they might be thinking.

huh, what? confusing yes lol

So I go thru life worrying about me. If others think something or don't, then so what. I dont' care anymore. I can't put that burden on me anymore and I won't allow the negative into my life as much.

age is making me wiser, or sturdier, or more resilient or something

I just look at others and think - well I'll bet they're no beauty with no clothes on either! Lets face it, people are too worried about themselves to care whether we're flabby or not!

Jo xxx

I once read a good attitude to live by. "What someone else thinks of me is none of my business". I live with a wonderful husband who always imagines everyone is criticizing him, in their heads. I finally had to teach him that to think that way assumes you have way more importance in other people's lives than you really do. They really are mostly thinking about their own lives and problems. As for medical staff, have you noticed how big many nurses and techs are? They have no room to judge in most cases.