Thanks for the shopping tips and keep them coming! I am so amazed at the whole shopping thing. I've written before how much I used to hate shopping. I considered a necessary evil. I was grumpy doing it!! Just like I was grumpy getting dressed in the morning. Now I realize it was part of the self-hatred I felt.

My wonderful man pointed out how much fun we had together on our recent "research" shopping date. Ya know, I interacted with him instead of pulling into my old internal panic. You remember: the feeling that you had to get everything you were gonna try on before going into the dressing room 'cause you were only going to face this whole getting undressed thing once. It was painful. Those horrible mirrors showed your frustrating efforts of pulling on clothes that didn't always want to go on. The bumps and swells of fat that you wanted to disguise. The zippers and fasteners that did NOT want to go together. The sigh of resignation when you realized you were putting on elastic...frumpy, "old lady" clothes. The big pile of discards of what did not fit. Finally making it to the pay counter with a sense of resignation as you paid big dollars for clothes that "would do." I used to end with a feeling of, "Well, I did it...now lets go have fun." Which usually involved food and/or alcohol to numb the entire experience.

Now, I actually come out of the dressing room to show my husband what I'm wearing and get his opinion. I will even send a clerk for another size--a lower one No way was I ever gonna send someone else for a BIGGER size. I'm not resentful of the money it costs for clothes. Not that I'm one of those designer babes. AND...it feels better to start a day with a relaxed mode of getting dressed. I like prancing off for a day feeling that "I am as cute as I can be."

A different subject:
I finally got word from my sisters. One says that I can come and spend some time with her and not stay JUST with my parents. [I love my parents, but I go nuts staying with them in their dreadful little town for an entire week.] The other sister wrote and explained that she has really been overworking. This is a big trait from my family and something I have had a hard time unlearning--but, it has been essential for my recovery. Her blood pressure is up and she wants to lose 40 pounds. She even wants my help!!! This blows me away 'cause she has always been THE authority on everything and spent our visit last summer telling me why low carb would not work for her...all the while scarfing sandwiches and cereal.

I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. I do not want a family visit that will be about Sabotaging Sara. Am I creative enough to come up with a workable plan? Am I sane enough...brave enough?
Sara<><

Wow Sara, your description of shopping in the fat days sounds soooo familiar! Hated it with a passion. Schep to Lane Bryant for overpriced, poorly crafted clothes. Find the least offensive stuff, and buy it, usually all at once so I wouldn't have to go through it again anytime soon. Now, I've outgrown my closet, and I'm trying to find new space for all my pretty stuff. I was trying to convince my hubby that the amount of clothes and shoes I have is normal; he's just used to the olden days where I bought the bare mimimum that I needed. I still sometimes get frustrated when I shop, but it's usually because they don't have my size. Funny thing about that...when I was size 18 (which was a huge improvement over my starting size of 26) and just beginning to be able to shop in regular stores, it seemed like all the clothes were size 2 or 4. I realize now that it was because I shopped in "matronly" stores, and the larger sizes sold out first. When I went to NY&Co the other day, there were tons of 16s and 18s, and almost no smalls, or size 6 or 8, or whatever. I guess because it's a fairly young crowd, and the small sizes go first. (I love their clothes, but they cater to the young'uns...) Very frustrating, though...saw gorgeous tops that were only in a large, and I'm usually a small on top these days (no boobies). The same thing happens when I go to H&M, another young store that occasionally has stuff I like.

Whatever. It's a happy dilemma, as is trying to find a good tailor to alter some of my stuff from last summer!

Now, if only the weather would get warm so I could wear all my cute skirts and sandals...

I like your shopping story. Unfortunalely I have never had a problem loving to buy stuff. How terrible will I be when I'm skinny! Lane Bryant has been an unfortunate lifesaver for me. At least there's somewhere to buy clothes! I can't wait to shop in other stores. I'm a big girl though, and when I'm at my goal weight I'm a 12. So now that Lane Bryant (I call it "lb.s") will be carrying size 12 I'll probably still shop there. Their shirts fit me best through the shoulders and chest. Got a lot of boobies

I think it's great that your sister is coming to you for help. It's always best to lead by example. Good job!

Sara,
It's not if you're sane or brave enough -- it's whether you're strong and disciplined enough. And you are!

Sara....you will do just fine....isnt it funny about families? where youd hope it would be a safe and encouraging place it can instead be a battleground...I figure the best I can do is make my family ( husband, kids and grandbabies) as safe to be around as I can make it...


<pssst> Sara..I'll be praying for you!

Thanks Friends!!!! I appreciate all the prayers I can get

I went back to work today--after a glorious week of vacation. It was good. The kids were sweet!

I gotta another "Have you noticed:"
Have you noticed that you notice when others are losing weight and you feel compelled to give them support. Right before spring break I spotted a woman that subs for teachers. She has lost 40 pounds and caring about her appearance. She was very receptive to my comments. I found out later that she is going through a divorce...I think it absolutely rocks that she is taking care of herself. Today, I spotted a friend that teaches in the high school area...we don't see much of each other. I whispered to her that she was looking good..."have you lost weight?" She said, "About ten pounds, but nothing like you have." I gave her a hug and told her that it was noticable.
Sara<><
p.s. I looked good today in a fancy new skirt. I know I overdress for work, but I just can't seem to help myself.

Oh, Sara you are like my kindred! I teach too, and walked in the cafeteria today on my planning, and a whole table of former students just stopped eating and stared. I mean stared. Finally one girl said, "I love your makeover"! Aren't they sweet? I am noticing many of your observations, and learning, too, from everyone's experiences. This forum is HUGE for me.

I love the pedicure, tanning , gym, shopping me. I didn't even know she existed, but yep, turns out, I'm a princess, too!

Sat. I bought a strapless tangerine dress and an army green short short jumper! Too hot! I don't know where I should where them but they make me feel so good, I think, everywhere!!

You are fantastic! Such a grin to read! Thanks!

Dana...thanks, big time. So many clothes and so few opportunities to wear them. I swan, I never would have thought this about myself. I even teach in sparkly stuff!!!...and heels.
Sara<><

Sara~ as long as you have a plan you will do fine!!!! Now, get to planning!

I like your new *have you noticed* I can relate!! I am going to take your thought a step farther... Have you ever noticed someone in the mall or store that is about the same size as you were and just wish you could help... Not that they asked me..right!!! It is like you are holding the secrete they have been looking for all there life.

have you ever noticed someones grocery cart at the store packed full of carbs and regular soda!!! My cart is never as full as it used to be unless there is a sale on meat or veggies!!
COcoa

Uhhhhh...how do I say this....I hate grocery shopping. My husband is the family cook and grocery shopper. It is so bad that once when I did go shopping--something for work--I exited only to hear a friend shout from the parking lot, "Quick!! Somebody get a camera!! Sara is coming out of the grocery store."

My wonderful man is soooo Wonderful. He is the ideal that my friends throw as an example into their husband's faces. I tell him this and he says, "Thanks for telling me....I'll never go quail hunting with any of them." I also always ask my friends, "Yeah! But did you tell them of our great reward system?" They reply "NOOOO!! We don't want to have to do that part." Well, there you go. I know the secrets of truly high maintenance women...you gotta give to take. I "cook" in the bedroom...on the floors of the living room...in the hot tub....well, you get the picture!! It is much easier now that I'm small.

Time to close. Another day--another outfit.
Sara<><

ROFLMBO! My husband would say the same thing...shall we say we "share domestic duties".

Working as a cashier at a Super Walmart, I've found it's hard to watch some people going through the checkout. 300 pounds, sometimes the whole family is overweight, and cart piled high with Twinkies, chips, TV dinners, bread, potatoes, packaged side dishes, pasta, buns, tortillas, soda. Sometimes I have this overwhelming urge to scream at them. Then I bite my tongue. I was once just as clueless.

But then again, I see a cart come through with meat, veggies, heavy cream, sf products, Carb Smart stuff, Atkins shakes, etc. and sometimes I just have to throw in an Attaboy! or Attagirl! Sometimes we get into a conversation, sometimes they just smile or thank me. It is amazing how many lc's there are for a diet that's dead .

I know what you mean! My DH is way better at cleaning than me, but he says I have "the skills to pay the bills" ~he doesn't keep me around for the mopped floors! LOL

I have also noticed: We've each lost a bit of weight in about 2 months (roughly 25 lbs each), and, oooh mama! We are both loving that we can wrap our arms around so much more of each other! He was looking at xmas pics yesterday, and said that he didn't feel like he could have lost 25 lbs at the time, but now wonders how we ever "got together" back then. Everything seems to work a little easier now!

You are such a hoot, Sara!

I have to say that after all these years, I have finally discovered a starting point to getting hubby to pick up after himself. The better I'm feeling about myself, the less grouchy I am and I can present the trail he leaves behind himself in better ways that he can hear it...however, despite me sometimes begging him to clean up his clothes, he just does not see it. Recently, I almost passed out when I came downstairs and he had cleaned up not only his mess, but the kids', as well as the kitchen, AND had fixed a wonderful meal. I asked him if it had had anything to do with the wonderful night the night before and he just grinned! The kids all just went "EWWWWW" when he came over and gave me a big kiss.

Whew! I could hardly wait to get my clothes off today.....no, not what you think! I left the house cute as all get out in my size 6 khaki capris and black off the shoulder tee, with you know, my high heels. Apparently I've lost some more weight since I last wore this shirt to work. (This is the same shirt I wore in my fall, school picture--see gallery.) It has an underwire bra built into it. The dang thing was so loose today that the undewire kept riding up over "the girls." The first time, I froze! What to do? Well, dadgummit I just had to adjust those girls right in front of my kids. They didn't seem to notice as I did my tug and wiggle. I hope not, 'cause it kept happening! Like ta drove me nuts!
Sara<><