Hi gals!
((((((Nic)))))))---you get my first reply and hug today. Lord love a duck girl, my son was absolutely the most difficult from 15 to about...hmmmmm.
Seriously, 15 to 18 was the hardest. Sometimes it felt like war. And I really understand how draining it is to go thru this w/a kid---particularly when you got maybe a bit more unguarded w/the first two. When they were a bit easier? And you thought you had it down?
I also know, like you, your youngest son is a good kid, and he will do just fine in that mythical future we all worry about for our kids. Mine was/is too. But he was one to push the envelope. And then push it once again, and just in case you weren't beside yourself yet, push it one more time.
Seems like your son ebbs and flows. Moments of brilliance and great behavior and you think he's on board, and then KERPLUNK. I so get that. And it is really upsetting when this stuff happens. Sometimes when a parent says "this hurts me more than it does you," it's actually true on levels our kids can't understand till they have their own kids. And then boyo, the tables sure turn.
"I know this much is true" (borrowing a title from one of my fave books ever, by Wally Lamb---check it out---it's a gob smacking fabulous book, and I think you will love it.) Your youngest IS going to find his way in this life, because he has been shown how with love and consideration. May not seem apparent that
is true today, but trust me, it is.
LOL, and I'm kinda hoping for your son that he gets a clue about what works with loving parents, and what doesn't. Because right now, he's doofing himself and I get so upset when my kid is a doofus, and hurts himself unnecessarily. I, like you, don't demand perfection, or that he do it my way. But when they're working strongly against themselves in the doofus category, it sets our hearts to a tizzy.
Trig---Yeah, the kiddo is still just a kid. But maybe if you don't feel like making a meal on her schedule, she can begin to learn to do it herself? Came a time hubby took son aside and said, look, you can cook simple stuff. And he did. Not much good in the kitchen, as y'all know, but when son was 12, I taught him how to his own GD laundry the way he wanted it done. They are so totally capable of this.
Every family has their own ways, and there's no right or wrong as much as imo, there is better and worse. Kiddo is smart as a whip, artistic, and engaged. All SO good. But trust me pal, she needs to learn to cook her own stuff if she misses the time you're willing to do it, at least on most occasions. We moms like to do special things for our kids now and then, like cooking them a dinner at 9 at night. BUT, think your hubby was right about this---please don't hate me for saying so. But tell the pork chop, I heard him.
I bet none of our hubbies get direct messages from LCOW gals. But, Sometimes, our mates are actually right and cover ground we're not likely to, or unable to.
OTOH, I'm no expert at parenting, and seems every lesson I have learned at it, I've learned the hard way. It's like when
Nic said, you assume good faith in your children, when sometimes we shouldn't. Not because they don't have good intentions, but because they are still KIDS, and their JOB is to slide one by us. As often as they can and for a certain smart and contrary kind of kid, well X100. Don't know about the kiddo, but pretty sure Nic and I have/had that kind of kid.
All food for thought and conversation. No lecture intended. Just really interesting to me to see you younger gals deal with what I did years ago.
NOTE:I did good on translating "love you always," to my son. Most important thing, no matter what else you do well or don't. WOULD do other things differently if I had to do it over again. But Trig, you and me just did it once, so that chance doesn't come again. And even if it does for those w/more kids, no kid is the same, and each and every one of them will humble you in some way, just when you think you've got all the answers.
Jaz---NO ONE does typos like you. Somehow you are mostly never run of the mill with your typos, and so many of them are hilarious. How do you do that in such an entertaining way?!?! Like "peed and divined shrimp." I just giggle my head off. Don't ever stop. We get you, and you're so much fun as you are. Just let your fingers fly girl---you've got a talent for the funnest typos around. Ya can't do this at school or work, and know you don't, but be free here! Again, fun for those of us who love you which is every single person here.
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So right now I'm juggling 4 projects, 3 from new clients, one from old big client. I am freaking swamped with work, and it all needs to be done this week.
I am thrilled to the gills to feel busy and overwhelmed with work again. Funny how you appreciate that which you used to complain about---when it disappears, you feel its absence. It's been a long dry fallow time for me. But all or a sudden my new business efforts are paying off, and for now, it's all coming at one time.
Know that I could be w/out a project two weeks from now, so just going to enjoy this busy busy time. For right now, I choose too busy as my problem, rather than not busy enough.
TOTALLY on plan today, and feel the mojo growing again.
Lunch: Had one slice of LC bread w/deli ham and Swiss on it, and another great thing I found on my trip to Trader Joe's---Wasabi Mayo! I LOVE hot and spicy, although this is not as hot as say, horseradish, which I also love. But it sure has a nip and was great w/baby Swiss cheese and ham.
Dinner---crack slaw. Haven't had it in weeks, looking forward to it.
20 to 25 NCs for me today. Exactly where I need to be, for me. Feel MUCH better, although not sure how much of that is psychological---knowing I'm making a real effort again and not giving into my worst eating self--and how much is physical. I'll take either/or and run w/it, and hope it sees me into another good day tomorrow.