Hi all,
Nic---Hope you are having a splendid time with your daughter. How was the musical? Did you guys get a chance to shop for your dress?
Not to worry about not being on plan on this mini trip. At this point I think we ALL know ourselves well enough to know when we're going to be on plan, and when we're just not. Some of us are going to do that 99-100% of the time, others of us are going to do it 90% of the time---maybe at our worst, 80% of the time. STILL, we know by now what works for us, what we can get away with and what we can't.
Jaz---Oh girl, I LOVED your photos. And let me first say, I agree w/Nic that you look much better than you see yourself thru your own eyes. To me, you look youthful, healthy, loving and attractive. Emphasis on loving. It's a good look
Sure, you want more weight off. So do I. But in looking at your pix, I think, she's doing just fine. Better is always out there for all of us, but we both know how much worse it could be if we gave in to our higher weight. At a point, we accept what we can do at any given point in time.
It is delicious in the way no carbs can be to look at little Ava and her growth and progression. Those pix w/her nestled up against you, and Noah at your knee and the dog looking on, just speak to me of what life is about at its coziest and most simple elements.
Fingers crossed your daughter is not pregnant. TOO damn much. But it has happened to many. When you least expect it...you didn't mean it to happen, etc. Hope this isn't inappropriate, but just surprised she and hubby are finding the time and desire to make this happen. Well, that's good. But the timing, not good. I guess in the end, it will be what it will be, and your daughter and her husband have shown a lot of strength.
As for you, you can be a huge support and loving grammy, but you've got your own fish to fry w/no one taking care of you, so you'll have to leave it up to them to deal w/their life choices, or ooopsies, or whatever. You CAN be there like you were this weekend, but not on a regular basis...until you win the lottery and can be full time grammy, although even that is a tall order for many women who have done their time raising kids, and don't want to do it all over again. Till then, you must take care of yourself, so your daughter and hubby don't have to add that to their list of demands.
My mother needed our financial support from a relatively early age on my brother's and my part, and I don't regret a dime of it, because my brother and I could do it and we did, in every way we could. Still, I would not want this to be my son's burden, and hope it never is. So, when we CAN take care of ourselves first sometimes, even as mothers, we are doing a great favor for our grown children.
Also, must add, my mother made her mistakes, but she was always the first one to support you with whatever dollars she had, if you needed it. She also suffered from physiological/mental issues that are treated much better today. And when she was on fire, she was on fire, and pulled in all kinds of money, at a time most women weren't, or allowed to, culturally.
Just need to be clear here, as she is gone, and whatever our differences, I miss her terribly. Particularly now, when I know she would have helped me thru what I'm going thru w/her love, and I just want to make sure I'm fair to her. Because for whatever her warts, she loved me like no one's business. AND, she was the most EXCELLENT grammy. Ask my son, or any of her grands. She had her own journey. I see it as that now, instead of evaluating her just as my mother, with whatever demands come with that. I have been humbled by my own motherhood.
Sorry, got a bit emotional here, but that's what I love about this thread. I can be honest. And I can tell you Jaz, as you well know from your history, you have already been a good enough, if not perfect mama. And, will do the same as a grammy, or nana, as you call it. That's what we called my grandmother on my mother's side too.
Best words ever from best therapist ever, "Sometimes good enough is exactly that, good enough. When we can rise above that, great. But when we do at least good enough, we are operating on all cylinders possible at that time." I've had to learn to be satisfied w/good enough, many times in my life, and it was and still is a struggle to do so.
Wheeeeew, don't know where all that came from tonight, but there is was, so I share.
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I am SLOWLY rising again. I think of Maya Angelou, "and still I rise." One of her most brilliant poems out of many. That's the ticket...to keep rising, at whatever rate we can manage.
On plan again today. HANGING IN THERE, despite the temptations to let go on the woe. I WILL NOT, even if I don't do it as perfectly as I wish I did, or as gun ho as I did when I was dropping the big weight, let go of it all or even close to that. Too long worked for, too much of an investment and knowledge.
But I know, if I roll off this wagon, I'm in trouble. And I happen to be blessed with a thread of such lovin' gals, all doing it their own way, but all committed enough to show up here. And when we show up here, whether we talk about our woe or weight on any particular post, we all know that's what draws us together.
And as I've said before, there's only so much you can say about your weight and your woe. Getting to know you all personally, is the bonus. Yes, we are what we eat, in so many ways, and part of those ways, is knowing who each of us are---all those things that make up our daily struggles and rewards.
That's why I'm here, every day I can be. Because you guys remind me of why we're all here, even if we don't mention it every time. But we ALL share in common this one thing---we'd like to eat a whole lot of things that don't work for us, and we're always looking for the way to eat things that do work for us.
AND WE DO SUCCEED AT THIS, so many times, and WE DO RISE.
And, I believe, we continue to find a way to do it better most of the time, with a little help from our friends. Old Beatles song "I get by with a little help from my friends." Yep and absolutely to that.
Last edited by Blue52 : Sun, Feb-18-18 at 20:30.
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It is over now and today is a new day. I'm starting it out with boot camp and then home to putter around before going in to work at 4. Another long evening. We have the promise of unseasonably warm temperatures for the next 2 days, so looking forward to getting outside for my running training tomorrow. I get my hair cut at 10 and then will schedule in a run/walk. Disappointed in myself that I didn't get my treadmill workout done yesterday and instead chose to sit here and be upset about my work day. I know the workout would have made me feel better. Between eating right and exercising.....it's such a mental game. 
Hope all is well w/you. Crazy story about that pre-school. Man, I'd have jerked my kid out of that place fast, and the rest of the family out of that church. Is this what they call "Christian" these days?! Rhetorical question. 
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