Bready-type things are sorta my last carby holdout. I vacillate from finding them irresistible to finding them disgusting. Wasn't it just a few days ago that I pronounced them gluey? About as interesting as cardboard?

I don't understand this.

I succumbed yesterday - Mother's Day - to an amazing dessert. I was using food for comfort - I really miss my mom. She would've loved the Banana Cake I got at a local market. Apparently it is a treasured heirloom recipe purchased from a now defunct market very popular with the neighborhood. It has thin layers of banana cake layered with thin slices of banana, mascarpone, and whipped cream. It truly was amazing. I could only eat half of it.

So dinner yesterday was a large salad with blue cheese, hazelnuts, cubes of beets, grilled onion, cider vinaigrette, and half of that (large) piece of cake.

I am really reluctant to throw the other half of the cake in the trash. It's sitting in my fridge, tempting me. And my freezer is full. And the store doesn't make it every day. Apparently, it sells out pretty fast, as it's very popular.

I could just let it sit in the fridge until it goes stale, and THEN throw it out. The banana slices will likely turn brown before then.

Go ahead, laugh - be disgusted - whatever. My own behavior amazes me.

Emotional eating...what a bitch. Drowning my sorrows in a piece of cake. At least I didn't ALSO buy mashed potatoes. That was my first choice - to have with roast chicken and salad. Then I tortured myself by staring at the bakery counter. I told myself I could have either mashed potatoes or cake. I went with the cake.

Any advice? (Excluding "Just Say NO!") Thanks.

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What do you want advice about? Not being snarky, it could be many things you want ideas on.

Do you want to feel better about a once-in-a-while indulgence?

Do you want to never again have cake?

Do you want other ways to comfort yourself when you miss your Mom?

Do you want to have no charge when you pass a bakery?

Do you want to give yourself a kiss on the nose and a tap on the butt and go forward to sin no more?

This one! (Or when I'm feeling low for any number of reasons...) Thanks.

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Hm in that case - what really has helped me, are things that truly give me a lift both physically and emotionally - mind/body.
(hm just like the food does)

And it has to be at least as big a lift as the comfort food.
No fair trying to get a feel-good hit from something like wimpy "treat yourself to scented lotion" compared to a slice of decadent cake. no comparison!

the comfort has to be at least as big as the emotion.

So for me -

- put on really loud music and move. I have a Bose radio and it sounds like the music is live! For instance I can put on a pipe band and pretend I am the Pipe Major of massed bands.
http://www.sfupb.com/store/music/sf...ey-opera-house/
Or put on the Temptations and try to do those moves. man that is harder than it looks.

- do something thrilling outside. Something about the whole-body and being outside does it for me.

- have intimate relations. Nuff said.

- any way to laugh really hard.

- contact a friend and play "reasons your life sucks" until you laugh so hard your stomach hurts. this is a way of laughing at troubles. you need a friend because they can point out things that you might otherwise minimize because you're so used to them. One time my friend pointed out my winter coat was so ragged and out of fashion it belonged on the list. Ever after, "purple coat" made us feel good.

Thanks for the advice, Seejay. Yeah - the hurt is all coming from my mind - there's no external source - nobody to give a talkin' to, and no point beating myself up, either.

So physical interaction with the real world is the best solution. Yoga, dancing, volunteer work, something that demands one's full attention. How could I forget the endorphin lift from physical exercise?

Thanks for your thoughtful response.

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It sounds weird but REALLY gangster music sounds it for me.. I get alot of days when I just want to make it all feel better with some chocolate or a cookie but I turn up the radio on some heavy gangster station and scream the words =] it helps.

I go for a walk in the woods; inhaling nature is wonderfully calming.

What did Mom do for you? Do it for yourself! Even a hug...

I also have kitties to hug, but I realize that choice is not for everyone.

I go for a walk and coffee with a friend.

Thanks, ladies. Nature walks have helped before. SlimJen, what I'd really like to do is find someplace where I could scream at the top of my lungs every once in awhile, without people freaking out, or coming to my rescue, or calling the paramedics to take me to the funny farm, KWIM? There must be somewhere...



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Funny you should say that. One time my friend and I had sucky divorces going on and we got so sick of eating emotions, we decided that instead of doing the girl thing and turning the bad feelings into ourselves, we would put them "out there."

We went to Radio Shack and bought a power horn. Then we went to one of the bridges that overlooked the entire city and spoke our minds over the power horn. It was soooooo cool and amazingly releasing. Well until the neighbors, being concerned and not hearing the words, called the police. we skedaddled before they got there. I am sorry for causing others concern but it was worth it.

These are great suggestions. I'm an emotional eater too. Happy, excited, sad, mad...in pain. All that jazz. Since I started this WOE, I've found less and less temptations to the really naughty stuff and sometimes just over indulging in the cheeses or the whipped cream chocolate fills the emotional eating void without going nuts with the really bad carbs. I tell myself that splurging on the acceptable items is better than reaching for a bag of chips. Weight loss reasons aside, it's just plain healthier.

I am trying to gain control over a long bout with my emotional eating and binges. I can't seem to do it. I have gained 10 lbs. I do well for a week, then binge again. I don't "fully" binge on foods like flour, cakes, or other foods that are total no nos..but i eat fruit, and lately have discovered peanut butter and will hide with it to feel better. I eat, and eat, not hungry, i hide my food, i over eat. I know its wrong and i can't help it or stop it, it goes on and on..lately, last few months its worse with the binges coming closer and lasting longer. Before, i didnt gain weight, now i am. I am hurt, embarrassed, and ashamed, and cant seem to stop it.

Fruit and peanut butter both evoke endorphins in large enough amounts. You are not shameful, your body is just trying to get in balance, and something has to fill the endorphin receptors when your body is upregulated and you have a ton of them. Your hunger is real and physical, but it's the brain chemical hunger, not food and calories hunger. Unfortunately when we use food to get the high that fills the receptors - it works well after all and aren't our bodies smart? - we gain weight.

Have you read any of the books that talk about resetting the reward system? It really helped me to understand this part of it.

No, never heard of these. Do you recall any titles or authors names?

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Emily Dean, Evolutionary Psychiatry

http://evolutionarypsychiatry.blogs...ch?q=endorphins

Wherever she writes, "borderline personalities" , use "emotional eating" and it still applies.



The Science of Overeating, David Kessler

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124084009832659309.html

Potatoes not Prozac, Kathleen DesMaisons, the sections on serotonin and beta-endorphin

http://www.radiantrecovery.com/newsensitive4.htm

I haven't read Barnard's "Breaking the Food Seduction" because he advocates a plant-based solution, but I hear that he talks about some of this stuff.