"Just eat until you are full", followed by a look of incomprehension. (spin on my first "eat til your are satisfied" post.

Seriously, I can eat enough to keep a lumberjack thriving. I did have induction periods of time where I lost my appetite and that was truly a lovely relief from a lifetime of trying to force willpower.

Switch from beer to vodka. I did and it almost killed me.

That reminds me, our UPS lady went from chubby to sleek and I asked her how she did it. She said, "Man, it was EASY! I cut out the beer!"

Too bad I don't drink. Ha.

Another thing I heard a lot through the years...

If you just exercised more you could eat whatever you want (like my DH).. uh NO that doesn't work for me, never has, never will.

How about "use a smaller plate". Nothing there about refilling the plate a second time.

May work for some but a huge "fail" for me. "Cheat days are a simple way to bust a plateau, jump-start your metabolism and enjoy forbidden foods."

That one worked every time for me. I don't know about the "jump-start your metabolism" part, but I did get to enjoy loads and loads of forbidden foods and I would break the plateau. My weight shot up immediately.

Eat low calorie-density foods. With the usual added useless fact that fat has more calories per gram than protein or carbohydrate.

I don't think the first part is actually that bad--adding lots of spinach, celery etc. to my meat really increases my enjoyment of a meal. But as far as the second part goes--I can make a high fat diet just as voluminous as I please by adding very low carb vegetables with wild abandon.

As a person who works in weight loss, I have heard every bad idea out there. But here are the most frustrating and ingrained:

1. I'm reducing fat
2. I'm cutting down on meat
3. I am reducing cholesterol
4. I'm just going to eat 1000 calories per day
5. The ideal protein diet (basically a starvation diet that is very low fat and low carb, reminiscent of kimkins- plus filled with pricey products)
6. In response to metabolic research I quote, "well that is your opinion...." Um, no it is data.....

My Insurance company just sent me an email with "top ten tips for losing weight in the new year. Some samples:

- Be ready with healthy snacks too — such as low-fat yogurt, whole-grain crackers and air-popped popcorn. Keep chopped vegetables handy in the fridge. Buy grab-and-go fruits like apples, oranges and bananas.
- Leave large serving bowls off the table. Use smaller plates and bowls (haha, I mentioned this one already)
- turn a small serving of plain pasta into a plentiful primavera with a medley of peas, green beans and carrots.

Of course some of their ideas do make sense, like set realistic goals, and know you are in this for the long haul, not just a quick fix.

Eat less. Move more.


I've sincerely tried to do this by just about every conceivable method.

Most of these drive me crazy, too.

Another one I hate is the recommendation that instead of actually eating, basically make yourself feel bloated so that you "won't feel hungry": chug a ton of water, take a fiber supplement, etc. You can't fool your brain that you received nutrition when you did not. You will be hungry again in fifteen minutes.

I also don't get the "if you think you're hungry, you might just be thirsty" one. Um, nope, I'm pretty sure I know the difference. "Hmmm, my mouth is completely devoid of saliva. I think I need salt and vinegar chips!" Never happened once in my life.

"LOW FAT LOW FAT LOW FAT!!! After all...fat will make you obese and die of a heart attack!"

"Feed your kids more bread and rice and crackers...their whole grain..and milk..they need lots of milk"

Nothing like being scolded for NOT putting in crackers and granola bars in a kids school lunch..

Meanwhile...ALL nuts and nut products are banned from the school...Have we become that paranoid??? My kid is allergic to avocado...are you going to ban those too?

Haha, there's a known personal trainer saying "abs begin in the kitchen," for once some good advice!

Merpig: Yeah, I have to wonder if anyone actually believes that eating off tea saucers is the key to weightloss.

Porthardy: I am not looking forward to the day I have kids because I've heard this from other parents too. Basically that they get directives from their school about what to put in their kids lunches. Now, the nut allergy thing is tricky...some people really are so severely allergic that even the dust can kill them. Other than celiac disease, other food allergies tend to be such that you only get a reaction in you ingest the food. So your child probably won't go into shock because the person next to them is eating guacamole, whereas it is possible the child with a peanut allergy might go into shock if the person next to them is eating peanuts. I heard a story once of a girl who died of anaphylaxis after kissing her boyfriend who had eaten peanut butter shortly before. For that reason, I can get behind the nut bans. It's not worth another person's life.
However, being scolded for what I do or don't feed my kids, or worse being told that their lunch was lacking so they were given Ritz crackers to supplement would chafe so much. I'm someone who very much does not like to be told what to do and isn't afraid to argue principle, so...yeah I already know I'm going to be the troublemaker, know-it-all mother the administrators hate.

Overheard in the grocery store about an hour ago, a middle-aged woman talking to an older woman, maybe her mom;

"Oh, have you tried Silk chocolate soy whatsit?"
"I got my two percent milk."
"Oh, but let's just compare the calories."

I did have a container of sugar-free cashew beverage in my cart, but in my defense, also three liters of heavy cream.