Yes trustycat,
I pretty much lost a lot of the recovery weight that I gained in the hospital. I did it over the course of a year though. Its been a slow struggle. I think I suck at maintenance :P
Oh well, never give up right?

Welcome Angelpaws - Sorry about the problems with the eating disorder and I wish you luck with your journey to fight it. At 5'6", you are really thin and sure don't need to lose any more weight. Building muscle and strength training is very important so it sounds like you have the right goal in mind. Take care and welcome again. Anleigh

hey angel paw,
i'm sorry u were hospitalized-- that must have been very traumatic, but i am glad you were able to recover. How much "recovery" weight did u gain and why did u try to loose it? Did u loose through semi-low carb? I'm sure you don't suck at maintenace, lol--it just takes some time to get used to, that's all. You just have to get into the mentality that carbs are ok (and much needed to build muscle/tone up) and won't cause fat gain.

I gained quite a bit of weight and I did try to lose it because thats the nature of the disorder. But I've been trying to stop since I hit 115 pounds but its just so hard!
And no, I lost it on a regular very low fat diet. I never even cut calories below 1000. My diet used to be like 80% carbs!

hey angel! i tried to PM you but it wouldnt go through..i struggle with an ED too. same height as you, and my lowest weight was what youre at right now. we look soooo much better at around 110-115lbs dont we?! still..the thrill of seeing the scale go down is..you know! well i gained around 40lbs over the past 2 months and am at rock bottom right now. im fat, going bald, AND unable to have children(at the moment)! isnt that great? haha. trying to make fun of things. i have to say..when i started to gain my eyes started to look brighter, and my face is nice and round again, and my hair (tho thin!) is shiny. i would like to get to 115 but right now im aiming for 125. i HATEEE my thighs touching. gaining weight is soooo crappy! and maintaining is harder than losing! its so exciting to see the scale drop, and to see the hip bones sticking out, and the teeny wrists. ya know those 2bones on either side of your spine on your lower back? mine were constantly bruised and purple from sittin in chairs. just from sitting in a chair! are yours like that? ugh its SO sick how much pleasure i got from being so small. i took polaroids when i was 103 so i would BELIEVE that i wasnt fat..and now i look at them...and it aches inside cuz i miss being small...though i look like a very sickly AIDS patient..it still gives me a rush. you know what im sayin right? well i better get to bed before i go to the kitchen!!!

Oh el-- keep your spirits up hun. Every now and then i visit your journal, hope everything is ok. I have a friend who is suffering from an ED right now-- i shared that quote (your siggie) with her, it's truly uplifting! I know what u mean about the pleasure of being small and looking better at a slightly higher weight (so true, sad to say)
Why can't u have children right now? Will u ever?--i hope so, so much, for your sake.
Are you trying anything for your hair, any products? some of them do work.

125 is good for your height! And you need body fat to bear children, so don't worry too much. You're beautiful on the inside! Stop by my journal, i hope to hear from you!

p.s. my roomie is 5 feet 7.5 inches and 123 lb. She is absolutely the thinnest person i know (besides my sorry self and my anorexic friend at the moment) so i'm SURE you aren't as big as you fear!

Hey El,
You really shouldn't worry about getting back to a lower weight because like you said, it never really made you happy in the first place. Eating disorders mar your perception.
And Im sure you look great where you are right now. But why is your hair falling out and why cant you have children? Do you have a medical problem?
Anyway Older women (you arent old, but older than me ) need to weight more than teenagers.