After my RM tonight, I just kept eating carbs. I wasn't even hungry and had in fact had a large meal.

I'm so disgusted with myself, I have tried so many different things and I always end up failing. I am not really sure what it's going to take! I have to get back on track tomorrow....thanks for listening!

I'll start fresh tomorrow. No AS. No snacks. Balanced RM.

I noticed that you did not post your food in your journal-What did you have to eat earlier? Hang in there!

Here's the sorry truth:

CM: mock danish w/o AS

CS: String cheese and celery

CM: catfish and salad w/veggies and light ranch

RM: Out for dinner...
Dinner salad w/light ranch
Dinner roll w/honey mustard
Shared chicken strips and fries w/my son
1/2 slice PB pie.

after I came home I ate some dry cereal (probably a cup or two) ate some ice cream straight from the container, and finished the other half of the pie. It was complete binging, ick. I'm not sure why it got so out of control. I think that I have the mindset that if I already have cheated, why not go all out? Which, I know is silly. I'm really going to give it my all tomorrow and for the next couple of day to help curb cravings (no AS, diet pop, etc.). I want to give this an honest chance. I also am going to wait to weigh myself until Monday, so as not to get too discouraged It's so nice just to vent, and realize I'm not alone!

You're not ever alone here, and you're not the only one to eat her way through the kitchen. I remember an afternoon a while back starting in and didn't realize how much food I could consume in 15 min. It was AMAZING!

There's nothing you can do now, but you must start fresh tomorrow and more importantly you must stop talking to yourself so negatively. Learn to talk to yourself like you would one of us here. We've been so hard on ourselves for so long and all it's gotten us is more unwanted pounds. Don't just want to do it. Do it. Tell youself you can and you will, not that you want to and you'll try. We're all trying, but you have to be more positve and supportive of yourself.

Have a great day tomorrow.

Check that light ranch. Usually light translates into more sugar. I've never had the mock danish, but everyone seems to get into trouble with it.

Hang in,
Deb

When I tried the mock danish, I was a few months into doing CAD and it was going well, I wasn't cheating at all and had no desire to. I made the mock danish one evening and had it with my RM, sort of a test-drive to see if I would like it for breakfast. It was good and seemed fine with my RM. I remember being really happy to have something different that I could have in the morning. So the next morning I made it again and scarfed it down. Seemed ok.

Well, around 11 am I started to think about what I might have for lunch that day... something I never usually care about on CAD. Hmm... Wendy's without the bun.. maybe a chicken caesar from McD's... mmmmmmm...... on and on it went. Then the thoughts turned to my RM.. what to have, maybe I should switch to lunch, what "good" carbs did I have on hand??????

It was unbelievable. All my old obsession with food came back in a flood of scary food thoughts. I was able to white-knuckle my way through it, but I think it was my months of CAD that helped. If that had happened at the beginning, I know I would have binged too.

Anyway.. that was my experience. It doesn't mean the mock danish is evil... (although it seems that way to me!), but it has caused problems for a lot of carb addicts.

And, as Deb said, check the carb count on that dressing. And remember, this is not your fault! It never is when we feel that way or act on it. Something has triggered our insulin and caused those cravings and we all know how irresistable they are. Your job is not to get down on yourself, it is to figure out what went wrong and fix it, so that you can have this wonderful freedom back again

Take care, seeya soon.
Tracy

I am really going to try hard today to make things right. Thank you all for your kinds words.

The mock danish is out! I do think that it spells trouble for me.

THe ranch is Three cheese ranch light done right by Kraft. 2 carbs Very yummy in case anyone is interested.

Gowe and Theresa
Both of you should make copies of the cheat sheet and stalls thread and keep copies by you for quick reference. It will keep you from inadvertently sabotaging yourselves. There is no give on CALP between doing it right and doing it wrong and inducing cravings.

I am feeling so low I have just had 5 days of utter binging and cant see a way out.The insulin is so out of control I cant even think about being in control.

I want to cry all the time although this is proberbly due to TOM approaching.I feel like such a failiure I just want to be in control and lose 1-2 lb aweek.I am so useless I cant stick to any thing for any lenth of time.

My biggest fear is becoming diabetic,I had gestational diabetes with all my pregnancies and have been warned that I will develop type2 if I dont lose weight.

I know that I am a severe carb addict and a compulsive overeater
I also suffer with fibromyalgia which has symtoms similar to CFS or ME,I have severe emotional problems and I also homeschool and have a Dyslexic son who I am finding it hard to teach.I also struggle with a difficult marriage.

BOY when I see all that in black and white its no wonder I comfort eat .most of the time it is just so I dont have to keep making decisions about food choices, it is much easier to just stuff food than to think about making good choices or balancing everything.

I feel so much better now,thankyou for being here.I am going to have a balanced RM and start again tommorrow.

Lusana: Glad to be here to listen. Am not going to offer any pat answers or lame adivice regarding your life except to say I too have been through some terrible low times. Don't beat yourself up, control what you can controll and release the rest to God. Hang in there I hope you can feel my hug.

Lusana
You really have to read carb counts or you can be inadvertantly sabotaging yourself. Balsamic vinegar is not allowed, it has sugar in it. I couldn't tell if you were having yogurt for CM or RM. It's not allowed at RM. Also, are you drinking your coffee w/cream and AS within 15 minutes. You can only have that once a day outside of RM, you know. How many carbs in the Greek sausage? And where are your vegetables?

Also, eggs don't hold some CAs in the morning. If they're not holding you, they don't hold me and it looks like they're not holding you either, just consider breakfast CM #1 and have some other kind of protein and veggies.

Make sure you eat enough at CMs. Consider lettuce free and get other vegetables in. Get enough protein, at least 12 ounces cooked weight. I would suggest you go for heavier and red meat protein and leave eggs and white meat chicken alone.

Try for more balance at RM. Any time I see totally unbalanced RMs, I know the insulin is too high from something you've eaten previously or the day before.

Read, read, read. And read the carb counts and serving sizes for everything and be careful with serving sizes.

Also, print out the cheat sheet and stall lists. Make many copies and post them wherever convenient. Carry them with you. It is so important to keep your insulin monster under control. Otherwise, CAD won't work and you'll be bingeing again.

Good Luck!!!

Is yogurt really not allowed at RM, or did you mean CM?

OK so you've messed up ....you can get back on track I did...I was having a terrible time in jan and feb and in march I finally got totally back in gear...how...Well

I planed out my meals...CM's and RM's ahead of time for a week...kept foods simple made sure I ate a salad before RM ate plenty of protein at CM's ...cut out aspertame and diet pop's...no fakey deserts and most low carb recipes..

basically i had steak, chicken pork chops and green beans, califlower or cabbage and nice salad with the lowest carb dressing I could find that i liked

For RM I had whatever I wanted just tried to keep it balenced in the thirds

After a few days the cravings stopped and by the end of the week I was less hungry and back in control