I have been married for 1 1/2 years and my husband hates how my intense dieting and eating disorder(anorexia and exercise bulemia) makes me NEVER EVER want to have sex. We tried marriage counseling and I was sent to a therapist for my own problems. When they put me on Paxil (got me to eat, and exerise a tiny bit less) I gained 14 pounds in less than 2 months. I threw the pills in the garbage and quit counseling. My exercise bulemia is at its worst because my husband is deployed and I get to spend 4 hours in the gym in the morning while the kids are at school.(I quit my job while he is gone) and I spend 2 hours at night on my elliptical at home. I also started ordering pills off the computer so I won't eat. The bad thing is I am o.k. with him being gone because I don't have to have sex!

What's your motivation for working out and dieting? Mine is to be healthy and live a full life. Your's seems to be what my motivation for NOT exercising and NOT dieting was - to avoid life, and to avoid feeling your emotions, to feel in control of yourself, and to avoid having to admit that you're a valuable human being who deserves to be happy. 6 hours a day in the gym? Most people would miss the rest of their lives. Sex is a natural part of life - and an important part of a relationship. By not having sex with your husband you're isolating him and putting him in an unlivable situation - something you surely must know. Perhaps you're subconciously trying to destroy your relationship because either (1) it makes you happy and you can't handle that, or (2) it makes you unhappy and you can't handle *that*. Eating disorders and addictions are far deeper than the running of a routine - be it overeating or overexercising.

Imo, you're heading towards destruction as surely as I once was. Hopefully you'll be able to pull in the ropes before you get to the bottom - I wasn't. I've been running from the bottom ever since.

-j.

Doesn't sound like you are asking for any input right now. He's gone, you're working out like a demon; everyone's as happy as they can be under the circs. Why did you get married if you don't want sex at all? Did this come as a surprise to you?

In my experience, people who have survived truly life-threatening conditions such as war are often unwilling to put up with much guff on the far side. Once you realize how terribly fragile life is, it's just not worth wasting on things that don't feed health and happiness over the long term.

Good luck to you both.

I'm most concerned with the fact that your post says nothing about wanting to change any of this...you simply stated it, almost like it was good.

Personally, I'm excited about the sex being BETTER as I get smaller and stronger.LOL

But sadly your situation is no place for my joking nature. The previous two posts said it best. Maybe while you're working out and experiencing that euphoria you might think about what would truly make you happy...and once you decide, I hope you find it without destroying yourself or others. Take care.

I guess I forgot to phrase my post as a question. Because I was also wanting to know if anyone else is exercise bulemic? Or if anyone who is dieting has loss the desire to have sex. At first when I started low carbing and reducing calories I was really tired and grouchy. Its been years now I feel fine, not tired and I feel happy more often than I used to.
The counselor I was seeing, whom I quit, told me my diet of low-no carbs is what messed my brain up. (makes me punish myself) That made me mad. My husband will be home in one month. He thinks I am so crazy about looking perfect because he is 9 years younger than me, (hes 26 and I'm 35) That is not true I want to look perfect for my own self not him.

I am wondering if you are sure of your sexual preferences? I always enjoy my BF{when ever we have time alone} he has 4 children and i have my GS here, anyway I also would say you are probably addicted to endorphins, I know a lot of runners who are and often push themselves to the point of harm to experience that rush.

I used to use exercise excessively as a form of weight control, or to minimize the effects of binges, but not anymore. I didn't think I could maintain that level of exercise for the rest of my life. It was just too exhausting. Plus, I hate the feeling of guilt when I didn't exercise. I've cut out any formal exercise and like this a lot more. I control my weight through food in take. But I don't binge eat anymore either, so there's no point in exercising 2 hours every day.

Bless you girl. It sounds like the dr put you on the wrong anti-depressant. I was on Paxil too for 3 years. Gained the weight and sex was just not on the menu. (Good thing--been divorced for a while so I thought "so what"). The worst thing was if I was even a couple of hours late taking one I got the worst muscle cramps.

Long story short, I asked my dr to give me something different. I did the buspar for about a year after that then eased off and am now free of the anti-Ds.

So check w/ your dr before chucking it all in the can, they might be able to get something you can live with! Good luck!