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  #16   ^
Old Wed, Mar-09-16, 20:14
s-piper s-piper is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 694
 
Plan: LC Primal
Stats: 290/270/160 Female 5'7
BF:
Progress: 15%
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BAM0782
I relate to this sometimes.....though I'm just starting to realize it and I'm a bit ashamed of it. It makes no sense to my husband at all.....but sometimes when I binge or even just "cheat" in some way it's almost like "well, that's what you get....you don't deserve this anyway!"......like a self sabotage kind of thing


YES!

I can totally understand this because I'm especially vulnerable when I'm upset or stressed about something that I feel was my own fault. For example if I have a presentation didn't go well and I feel it's because I didn't prepare well enough. Yeah the food is to soothe the bad feelings, but I pick food instead of something else pleasurable like getting a massage because it's sort of like "Well that's what you get, you screw up!"
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  #17   ^
Old Thu, Mar-10-16, 08:01
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Seejay Seejay is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,025
 
Plan: Optimal Diet
Stats: 00/00/00 Female 62 inches
BF:
Progress: 8%
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BAM0782
I relate to this sometimes.....though I'm just starting to realize it and I'm a bit ashamed of it. It makes no sense to my husband at all.....but sometimes when I binge or even just "cheat" in some way it's almost like "well, that's what you get....you don't deserve this anyway!"......like a self sabotage kind of thing
The positive thing about this dynamic, is because, in a way, it's self-care.
By inflicting pain on ourselves, we trigger endorphins, the body's feel-good pain killer. So it makes sense in the same way that people cut themselves - it looks weird to others but it makes the person feel better because right after the cutting, or the bingeing, comes the "ahhh." And that part is physical and biochemical. Well Oops, sadly, also destructive of course.

Why would we inflict more pain after a painful event?
Wouldn't the painful event trigger endorphins just by itself?
Maybe not, because over time, and from eating drug-like food, the threshold gets higher.
So you might have a medium painful life event but you need a little more pain oomph before you get the "ahh."

I got out from under all this with lower carb and by stopping drug-like foods (grains, sweets). this helps crank down the endorphin threshold and it can all normalize again. Other neurotransmitters too like serotonin and dopamine.
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  #18   ^
Old Tue, Mar-15-16, 18:24
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BAM0782 BAM0782 is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 523
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 290/295.4/135 Female 64 inches
BF:
Progress: -3%
Location: ND, USA
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YES! it doesn't make sense at all to someone that's never dealt with it. It is like a punishment to me sometimes....especially if I eat something (or too much of something) enough to make myself feel kind of sick. I have started to realize that I am not that good at handling my emotions (at times) and sometimes I use food to "deal" with them...sometimes I do other things. If I get very angry or frustrated I have (once or twice) punched something, like a wall etc. My husband was confused, like "why would you do something to hurt yourself....why does that make you feel better?" I can't explain it to him....but it's almost like I feel better to have a physical reason to be in pain instead of just a psychological reason.
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  #19   ^
Old Tue, Mar-15-16, 18:45
jschwab jschwab is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 6,378
 
Plan: Atkins72/Paleo/NoGrain/IF
Stats: 285/220/200 Female 5 feet 5.5 inches
BF:
Progress: 76%
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BAM0782
YES! it doesn't make sense at all to someone that's never dealt with it. It is like a punishment to me sometimes....especially if I eat something (or too much of something) enough to make myself feel kind of sick. I have started to realize that I am not that good at handling my emotions (at times) and sometimes I use food to "deal" with them...sometimes I do other things. If I get very angry or frustrated I have (once or twice) punched something, like a wall etc. My husband was confused, like "why would you do something to hurt yourself....why does that make you feel better?" I can't explain it to him....but it's almost like I feel better to have a physical reason to be in pain instead of just a psychological reason.


When my kids get really angry I tell them to pound the floor.
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  #20   ^
Old Tue, Mar-15-16, 18:51
MickiSue MickiSue is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 8,006
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 189/148.6/145 Female 5' 5"
BF:36%/28%/25%
Progress: 92%
Location: Twin Cities, MN
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I used to have mine throw pillows at each other, or me. LOL, softer than both floors and walls.
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  #21   ^
Old Wed, Mar-16-16, 08:03
Seejay's Avatar
Seejay Seejay is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 3,025
 
Plan: Optimal Diet
Stats: 00/00/00 Female 62 inches
BF:
Progress: 8%
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BAM0782
YES! it doesn't make sense at all to someone that's never dealt with it.... I have started to realize that I am not that good at handling my emotions (at times) and sometimes I use food to "deal" with them...sometimes I do other things. If I get very angry or frustrated I have (once or twice) punched something, like a wall etc. My husband was confused, like "why would you do something to hurt yourself....why does that make you feel better?" I can't explain it to him....but it's almost like I feel better to have a physical reason to be in pain instead of just a psychological reason.
Yes! it seems almost impossible to understand for others who don't personally experience the feelings, either the emotional and physical ones. Tell him it gives you an endorphin buzz and watch his eyes glaze over.

Here's another facet about it. There's evidence that people who know about this, actually feel things more deeply and intensely, so there's more to "deal with" in the first place. So no wonder the feelings and pain are beyond our ability to deal with - they are bigger.

Avoiding harmful foods helps with that too. The emotional and physical pain response is cranked down to more handle-able levels.

It does take time and practice. Change happens at the speed of growing things.
Not as fast as us nodding our head and saying "okay,! got it! "
too Bad huh!
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