I agree too. One of my closest friends is doing LC- but she is 'drifting' and gaining. I hope she can get back to her clean plan.
It would have been better if she had just added on a few more carbs- climbed the carb ladder- in a planful way.
sigh.

All you can do in life is focus on yourself. Other people are going to do what they're going to do, I've learned.

You're right- but I also think that I've been doing this over 9 years and she is in the second year, so I can help if she is interested.She has talked to me and the issues seem to be desserts and alcohol when eating out. So she is going to watch that. At this point she is back to her 'goal' weight- and only 3 lbs over her low. I think for lots of us one of the hardest concepts is that this is a WOL, not a diet. SHe had dieted a lot over the years and this is really a difficult idea for her to really believe.
I can try and help, but I am not taking responsibility for her behavior.

Hi Eno,
I know how you and your friend both feel. I've been on both sides of this now. Until I got it about it being my way of eating for life, I didn't honor my own rules. Now I make rules for myself and actually honor them.....what a concept!
She has to find rules for herself that she honors also. How many drinks she'll allow herself to have in a night could be one. Too much drinking sets all the other rules on the sidelines. Boundaries disappear. Does she see this?

thanks Judy-
I agree with you. SHe is doing 1 drink up to twice/week- but when she has a glass of wine she is also more likely to have a piece of bread or an appetizer or a dessert. Just as you said- "boundaries disappear." So she has to figure this out. Right now, after we talked, she decided to 'tighten up' her plan and refocus.

I say that I don't want to cheat, but then it happens from time to time. Is anyone else having problems with sweets? My biggest weakness around TOM is chocolate. I started taking magnesium to see if that can help me, and I'll work up the dosage if it agrees with my stomach.

It's not that my body puts on tons of weight with carbs. It's my behavior toward them. Once I start, it's not hard to get the cycle rolling. That's why I'm aiming to stay away from them permanently. I'm a self-proclaimed addict.

hi-
thought I'd bump this up and announce that tomorrow is my 10 YEAR PLANIVERSARY!!!!!!!!
I count the first year as losing and the rest as maintaining. I am so thankful I found this WOL!
And thankful for this site and for you-
E

WOW! Big Congrats on 10 yrs, Eno!!

<bump> anyone here???

Hmmm ... first time I've even noticed this thread. It's sure an active one, ain't it? --- not!!!

You could hear a pin drop!!

***crickets***

OK Im laughing....time to POST people

hi-
I wish people would post here- it gets lonely on this site when you are not losing but maintaining. HI!
I'm going to be celebrating my 11th Planiversary in July- still can't believe it sometimes. I feel so good and am able to stay OP with some wiggle room just about all of the time.
I'm traveling a lot and have lots of family stress, but the best way to care for MYSELF is staying LC.
I will say that even after all this time, I will look in the mirror and think I look fat. Then if I catch a glimpse of myself in a window I will think wow I look good. I am aware that this is distorted and I am just accepting it and not giving it any power.
How about you?
E

I so agree...It is such a different mindset when you are maintaining...11 YRS!!! wonderful!!! amazing!!! incredible!!! you and Judy are such good examples...I really do want to be that kind of example...Im woobly this time in maintenance....not for eating crazy but for not feeling sure footed...

I see myself in the mirror and at first look perplexed...like for a moment I don't recognize myself..