Hello! Here we are! It seemed that there were several logging on to the thread about military spouses, so how 'bout we start a group here? (Kristine, could you move the other thread here, so we have the intros that were started?)

So, if you haven't yet, introduce yourself, and maybe tell us a little bit about your life.

Peach

I'm so glad we have this thread. I posted in the other one. Hope to see eveyone on this side too.
We need to support each other. Not just in this battle of the bulge, but with how hard life gets when our spouses are gone and we are playing single parents for only God knows how long.

DH joined the Air Force just 6 months after we married. He said he wanted to give us a great life. He sure is.

The first year in, my oldest was in 5 different schools in under 9 months due to all the moving around. We finally landed in Fairchild in Washington for 2 and a half years before, where I started my Home Daycare business. We got lucky and got orders for RAF Mildendhall here in England while DH was deployed in Saudi during the war.

We had been planning a cruise to Puerto Rico where my brother lives when he called and said, We can't go on the cruise. I was so upset and I was like, Why we already made the arrangements and have the money, he said cause we are going somewhere better. I said, I don't want some where better I want Puerto Rico. He then goes, Well we are moving to England but I can decline orders if you want. I jumped for joy and of course was more than happy to cancel the cruise.

DH was deployed during the war for 4 and a half months, he made it home on time for our baby's 1st birthday, he made it by 4 days. WHEW!

Baby Lancelot recognized him immediatley even though he was 8 months when Daddy left, cause I would always show him pictures and say Goodmorning to him and Goodnight. I'd pretend the picture was talking back, Lance just loved it and now has such a wonderful relationship with DH.

It was hardest on my oldest. Being DH stepson, he felt like he was losing a Daddy again. He cried all the time n fear Daddy would die and not come back. It's so hard being a military wife, but it made me stronger, and I became more Independent. More then I was when I was a single Mom. I found out things about myself that I didn't know I was capable of doing, like changing a car tire on my own. Our marriage grew stronger as the days away from him grew longer.

We enjoy traveling around the world and the benefits of the military life. I wouldn't trade it for anything else. My boys are getting a good education and we are living our dream.

DH loves his job so we are all one big happy family.

Well that's my story. Would love to hear everyone else's.

Hugs,

Hi, my husband is active duty Army Reserve - he accepted an AGR position a few years ago. We are currently in SC, but hope to PCS within the next several months to either AZ or TX. I guess I was born to be a military wife, because I love to move. Sounds strange, doesn't it? Our dream duty station would be Germany, so hopefully we can get there some day.

I think you have such a great attitude AFWife. When my DH was deployed several years ago, I found out how strong I was. We also found out how strong our marriage was, too. I think it takes a lot of work on both ends but when you both are committed to the marriage, it doesn't matter how long, or how far away they go.

Great thread,
Karen

Thanks Karen


It really does take both of us to make it work. I've seen so many marriages break up cause deployement really puts a toll on your marriage.
You just gotta be strong.

Well gotta go cook, DH is at work so it's my turn.

Have a good day.

hi I checked in on the other thread. I'm another AF wife. DH has been in 18 yrs. we're currently in TX but will be moving to Washington DC this summer.

I hate moving, though right now I'm excited about this move. We've only been here a year, but it's just too far from our family. Our folks are in NC and VA, so we're glad to be going back to the east coast. And hopefully this will be our last move until it's time to go back home.

Lily- you're nicer than I am. We also had to cancel a cruise we'd booked to the Carribean because of this move and it makes me so mad. We never had a honeymoon and were finally getting around to it. But it's still good to be going back close to home. I'm going home first and spending the summer getting to know my nephews.

Hello......

Hope everyone can find us!!!

My hubby's in the Navy (ex-navy myself). I guess I'm the only one that isn't so happy with military life. I'm not sorry we did it (shoot we met in the military....so I wouldn't even know him without it). I guess I'm just ready to be out now.

He's been gone for so much of our marriage. He spent the 2 years in school. And then we moved to Virginia. Until this duty station (8 months ago), he was only in port 82 days of each year (5 years). Out of that 82 days, a third of that were on 24 hour duty (so he was gone). So I basically saw my husband for about two months a year.

This is the first year we've had a single holiday together. It just always turned out that he was either gone or on duty when holidays came....birthdays, christmas, anniversaries. He was out to sea every one of my son's birthdays until his 5th birthday this year. My children actually asked me if I would please tell their daddy it was ok to visit us. When they were asked where their daddy was, they would answer "at his home on the boat". Until we moved here, they thought all daddies didn't live with their families. I tried so hard to explain it to them....but they learn from what they see. It was really hard.

I guess I have a lot of anger towards the military. When I was in they were very cruel to me when I was pretty sick. I ended my career to stop the harrassment. My husband paid for what happened to me for many years, because a congressman was involved. When my youngest was hospitalized the first time, they gave my husband permission to come take care of our kids. Then after a few hours, called him up and threatened to write him up UA and mast him for not being at work. It took three doctors arguing on the phone with his command to get him off. Our son was going in for surgery at the time. There are many more instances, but I'll spare you. I'm not trying to be a complainer.....just trying to explain why I'm not gung ho Navy.

I'm a military brat, and 4 of my 5 siblings were also in the military. I support our troops and think the military has been wonderful for many. I guess I'm just one the ones who hasn't had a great experience.

Anyway, hope I haven't chased you all off...... I know we are very blessed to have him when we do and there are many others who have their spouses gone too. I think mostly it was his commands actions in the past that have made our time in the Navy unpleasant. His command is much more family oriented here. I'm glad to met all of you and I'm happy to help support you when you need it!!!! Thanks for listening to my gripes.

elmuyloco5- I'm thankful every day DH isn't in the navy. I have a dear friend whose hub is navy and she spends so much time alone.

DH and I are lucky we have a "normal" relationship. He rarely has to go anywhere anymore. He did when we were first married, but lately he's been home every night.

I am glad we only have 2 more yrs to go because I'm tired of all the politics of the military.

My DH has family in NC and VA too. He's parents are in NC, in Asheville.

I love moving around and getting to see the world. It's a great adventure and we are enjoying it to the fullest. We've only been here 8 months and have already been to Germany and we are going to Scotland in May and have been to London 3 times, 4 this weekend. I love it here.

Hang in there, you'll be home soon.

Hugs

Sorry your experience was horrible elmoyloco.....I hear the Navy is hard.

I'm glad DH is in the Air Force, it's more family oriented. IMO anyways.

Well, hope your all having a great night.

Hugs

I'm thankful my dh is in army. The navy life would just be too difficult with so long separations. My heart goes out to you and the kids.

I too am getting sick of the politics. I was involved with the Family Readiness but no more and never again. The backstabbing can get a little much and it's not WHAT you know, but WHO you know. Ah, well. My DH really enjoys what he does and we enjoy the benefits. It allows me to stay home and do volunteer work, which has always been what I wanted to do. At least for awhile. Also, go back to school and get some extra training.

Anyone take advantage of Space A travel? Is it really worth it?

Thanks guys. I feel bad at times, like I'm the one at fault. I really have tried to like it. I enjoy the travel. We haven't had the chance to do anything overseas (he's a nuke....there's no overseas billets .....only aircraft carriers). He's done lots of traveling (to all the places I've wanted to go), but I'm glad he's had the chance. We've lived in IL, FL, SC, VA, and Hawaii since we've been in. That part's been fun. I guess I'm just ready to settle down and enjoy a normal life for once.

You're right Lily....the AF is soooo much more family oriented. My dad's retired AF and every AF base I've been to is like paradise compared to ours. Your medical seems a lot better too. That's why we shop a lot at the other bases. Right now we live in Navy housing on an Army base. Kinda strange I know. I think the Navy just doesn't respect it's members as much as the other services. It's a shame....they wonder why it has such a high discharge rate.

But we only have 830 days left!!!!! Can you tell I'm excited??? Then it's off to Texas...and a civilian life!!! Yipppeee!!!! I am very thankful though that we're where we are. He has a great command now....and he's home. I'm just so glad he's not involved with the stuff in the middle east anymore. I wish I could say that for everyone!

I hope you enjoy England! My dad was stationed there for years before I was born. My brother's and sisters all grew up there. I was born in Turkey and got to travel a lot then (course I don't remember a bit of it ).

Well take care everyone!!!

Hey everyone!
Ok DH has been in the Army close to 13 years and I guess he will stay in until his retires. We have been married almost 10 years (this June) and went thru the Bosnia 12 month Deployment and the 1 year Korea tour. Honestly I am getting tired of the Military myself. But as my MIL (former military wife herself) always said:
If the Military wanted the Service Men to have a family they would've issued them one.
We've met in Germany, got stationed to Ft. Carson and now Hawaii. Hopefully Germany after this again, if not we are hoping for FT. Bliss (this is where his parents are)

Warning....rant to follow.....


Hey Miez,

No offense to your MIL, but I hate it when people say stuff like that. They always said to me, "If you don't like it, why did you marry him?" Like you can chose when you fall in love. And like your attitude on the whole military life can't change over time.

It makes me so mad when people think that just because someone has served that they have to do it forever! And ironically, it's usually someone who has never served a day in their life that tells you that! My husband will have served 9 years when we get out (myself 2), I think we've done our time. Let someone else.

Someone asked my mom the other day why on earth we would get out when I have good medical benefits and our children have so many medical issues. I asked her if she bothered to ask them if it was better for my husband to go off to war and die? Gee, I think I'll take my chances at civilian medical insurance. I've already lost a child to incompetant Navy medical care, I don't need to lose my husband to the Navy as well.

Sorry, but that just strikes such a cord in me. I can't tell you the number of people who come up to me and comment how it must be nice that I get a FREE home and FREE medical care. Are people really that disillusioned about the military? We get a housing allowance because the government pays substantially less than most could make out in the civilian world in the same job. (I know, I know, we get this great education and training. Well my opinion is that these service members work their a*ses off for every bit of the cost of that education during their enlistment.) You also have a chunk of pay (can't remember what the acronym is) that goes towards medical care.

I'm sorry for the rant, but something has really hit me hard when we moved here. Our base has a digital sign on it counting the days since the last fatality. (does yours have one Miez?) Just watching that sign go down to zero crushes me. So many lives are lost to give us the freedoms we have in this country. It's time the average American pay proper respect to military members and their families. This is not a glorious life. While some amazing things happen to you in it, it can bring some amazing grief as well. And when you choose to move on in life, it should be a respected decision as only you have the right to do that!

no offense taken. I never liked her anyway. But don't you think there is just a little bid of truth in that statement?
I mean. I love my DH and Because he is military I love him even more, but sometimes I think the way the Military is treating the Family's really shows you they do not really want the service members to have family's.
The reason why I think DH will be stuck in the service until he retires is because when he went Warrant his jsut signed up for life. If he doen't get selected this year for promotion he has the choice to either get out or wait till next year and hope he gets picked up above the zone. He is taking advantage of his GI bill, but every class he takes he just signed 2 more years of his life to the military. I am getting tired of the military because they do not care about the spouses (some do but most leaders don't) The Army housing is way worst than the Air Force or navy housing and Soldiers period are way underpaid. If DH would to get out right now he would be able to start in the same field for at least double the money. You understand what I am getting at and why I am so mad at the Military?
Here our men and women are risking thier lives and yet a guy at Mc Donals makes almost more then they are.
My 2 cents

Hi there everyone! Glad I found the new thread! I have a bit to say about this subject, heres my story!

I married my DH (what does this stand for anyhow I gather the hubby) a month after I turned 20. I was wisked away to the sunny aloha state (Hawaii). Only 4 short months after arriving he went on west pac (6 months). I knew NO ONE. I felt so alone. Then I met some other wives. I could never have felt so much love and support. The base offered so many things and helped me so much. I know they do what they can. Its there if you look. Now 7 years later I am the mother of a great lil girl (Caitlynn). No big suprise dad missed the birth by 10 hours waiting for the tide to come in so the ship could pull in. I hear ya bout the navy docs (some of them anyhow, love my new one) Caitlynn was born at "Cripler". "the pink palace of pain" also known as Tripler Army Medical. Now they would not come up with these names for no reason. Lets not get me started on the base housing. Hello!!! I lived in radford terrace BEFORE they tore it down. It looked like a bomb shelter. Lets not mention the rats. I spent many nights crying to my mom long distance.

Its true you can not pick who you love. But for all the bad, there is soooo much good. I have gone places and seen things I never would have. And I would suffer it all again for such a great man. I married him when I was a size 18 and im a 20 now. (after being a 26) He loves me and thats all I need. If there is one think a military man knows its to give of himself freely.

In the next year (when he returns from this deployment he will be headed to Japan alone, without me for 2 years to play with chemical weapons. I know its going to be very tuff. But I know his love will be waiting as will mine!

GO NAVY!!!!!!!!!