Tue, Jan-09-07, 09:59
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Senior Member
Posts: 362
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Plan: atkins
Stats: 230/214/140
BF:Heh. You're funny.
Progress: 18%
Location: Dallas, TX
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Three things I want to mention:
1. If caffeine is starting to affect you, and did not before, that's a GOOD SIGN. That means that you're already altering your body's chemistry and its awareness of what you're putting in it. You'll start to find soon that your taste will change as well; things that tasted good before (sweet things) will be a little icky, and things that you never liked the taste of before (healthy food) you will start to crave.
2. Definitely start a journal. It's a place to be 100% honest and open about your journey, and you will find that if you take things out of your head and put them down in front of you to spread out and look over, you will learn things about yourself that you never knew before. Also when you've had some success, and you're feeling like "falling off the wagon" again, it is immensely helpful to be able to go back over your journal and see how far you've come already.
3. I don't mean to get too personal, but this one comes from the absolute bottom of my heart: try to go to counseling. There are things within you that have *nothing* to do with willpower, that cause you to sabotage yourself when you begin to have success with your weight loss. Until you find out what those things are and begin to deal with them, you may find that you will never have lasting success with it.
It's not about willpower, and it's not about being a better or worse person than this guy or that guy who might be skinny. ALL of us, every person, has things that hurt them and cause them self doubt and anxiety. The problem for many of us on this forum is that our learned response to self doubt and anxiety, is to eat. Bill down the street may have learned to smoke like a chimney in response to stress. Mary at work may have learned to drink a box of wine in response to stress. Your dry cleaner may have learned to go for a walk or jog to respond to stress (lucky butthead).
There are dozens of different responses to stress that are taught to us as children. Some are lucky enough that their learned responses are positive. Most of us are not that lucky; our learned responses are self destructive.
When I got really serious about trying to fix this problem in the long term, in October, I found a counselor who bills on a sliding scale (I don't have insurance) and was willing to work with me on the cost of my sessions. I've been going for a while now and I'll tell you, it's been a REAL eye opener for me. I feel more confident now that this time WILL be different, because I am different. I'm taking better tools and better planning into the fray this time, and I know what to be on guard against in terms of sabotaging myself down the line.
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