Since I don't have the money to afford anything right now, I can't even make a decision until I get a full time job, etc. Then I can start thinking about it as a serious potential event. I don't have any college debt (nice thing) but I'm not sure I want to incur one for surgery, at least at this point. I don't know anymore. There's no one around to enjoy them anyway, but I guess the point would be that if there was, I would possibly entice someone to appreciate my new body.

sigh

Josie, and here I always thought the WHOLE purpose in getting preggers was to HAVE boobs.

Yeah, And so far it's not working only thing getting bigger is my belly & hips.
But now I do fill out a "B" cup finally, But I stilll have 4 more months to go, I'm hoping to wake up one morning & they'll be bigger.

I placed bold emphasis in the quote because I did not want to quote you out of context, but you said a mouthful there.

You can't be disrespectful to someone who is being intentionally cruel to you? If that is how you truly feel, and these people who know you know that, then the abuse will never stop. The same way that your Nana treats your Mother will be how your Mother will treat you.

I do not advocate disrespect to elders or peers for that matter, but if the President of the United States walked up to me and was intentionally cruel, I would have no problem clearly advising him that a line had been crossed.

Setting boundaries is not disrespectful when other's are intentionally cruel. To stand and take emotional abuse shows a lack of self respect. In this world, if you do not protect and respect yourself, other's won't either.

AMEN, SISTER! If someone disrespects you, you should tell them that it is not acceptable. It's not being rude or insensitive, only self-preserving. That's a good thing! Rocks, I LOVE your little quote from Tombstone... hilarious.
BTW, speaking from the perspective of one on the larger boob size, it ain't all it's cracked up to be. I've had major back problems since I was 15 yrs old and the 15lbs of extra weight on my chest DOES NOT HELP in the least!!! I'd trade your B cup boobs anyday of the week!!!!!

Note to Purrrkitte: You need a journal so I can tell you how thrilled I am that you recognized the quote!! Val Kilmer stole that movie, didn't he? I've made it my life's motto.

Hmmmm... not sure I have time for a journal... Well perhaps! Depends on how much time the babies give me before wanting my attention. Love the movie. I totally agree about Val (cute too!) stealing the movie. The squirrel one... is it a quote too? I don't remember hearing it.

Gads, it took me 70 lbs. to finally fill out a B cup. To have to gain that much weight wasn't even worth it! I wouldn't mind a B on my size now or esp. when I lose the last 20, but to be my size NOW with A's is just downright embarrassing.

Josie, I've had friends who didn't even start showing till they were in their last trimester - so here's to hoping for some growth!

In regards to R-E-S-P-E-C-T, I don't have a problem telling other people where to step off. You could be Jesus Christ, the Pope or the President and I'd tell you what you could do with yourself. However, the issue is MY FAMILY. The people I care about most, and ironically the people who care most about me. I can't be inhumane to them. End of story. My aunt isn't a complete monster, no one in my family is at least not all of the time. Just like I'm not a complete bitch, at least not all of the time.

The fact that she realised she had crossed the line (possibly for the last time) and called me to apologise was a HUGE step for us. I can't say for sure if she won't do it again, more than likely the comments about my not having boobs will come up, especially as I continue to lose weight and my chest eventually becomes concave...... I keep wondering what they will say once they notice Marcy's new bust? I'm guessing summer will reveal all.

Tombstone was ALL about Val.

I understand about upbringing, believe me! I was taught to never disrespect ANY adult, not even just my parents. But I also understand what it's like to have emotionally abusive parents and how hard it is to get beyond that. Respect is a two way street. It is earned both ways. How can you respect someone who can't or won't respect you? I'm not suggesting that you be rude or disrespectful in how you point out that their nasty comments or behavior but the issue does need to be dealt with when it comes up or it just keeps getting worse. (Sadly, I'm not a big believer in people so I always <and mostly correctly!> assume that people are going to repeat their bad behavior, especially if I haven't said anything about it to them.) I care about my family a LOT. I'd die for any one of them in a heartbeat. BUT, that said and done, I can't be around them much because of how they treat me. They are unthinkingly undermining and sometimes, downright mean in the things they say to me. I haven't seen my family since August last year and even the thought of having my parents come to visit gives me a tension headache immediately. Not kidding. They cause me to spiral into confusion and low self-esteem/respect. I have a terribly difficult time telling them that something they've said is unacceptable. And if (When! WHEN!!) I get up the b~lls to stop them, they lay on the guilt so thick I can hardly stand the sight of myself. It's an uphill battle every time I even talk to my mother on the phone. I'm sure anyone who's ever seen my parents think I'm a total nut-job, being so afraid of them. What, two little midget short people who look about as intimidating as Mickey Mouse??? Comeon, Lady! I never told them about being pregnant the first two times (at 24 and 26) because I was afraid of what they'd say! I was afraid the third time too but I decided that at 34 that's pretty ridiculous... Then again, I knew what they'd say. I'd just left my second husband a couple of months before that. My family is very religious and I'm very wicked and irresponsible in their eyes. Anyhoo, I didn't mean to go into all that stuff again. I just wanted you to know that I understand and sometimes, it's easier to give advice than follow it. I do try VERY hard to stop the nasty, undermining and mean comments from them. Politely but firmly. Okay. I'm shutting up now....

I think in general I have a relatively decent relationship with my family. Maybe I'm delusional. I don't know. I'm still in shock that my aunt bothered to call me to apologise. We just don't do that in my family. Ever. I guess she saw how much it upset me and felt badly about it. Like I've said, it certainly wasn't the first time she's done it. Most of the time, if I don't feel comfortable around someone or they are unpleasant to me, I avoid them. I think that could apply to family members too.

It's hard to stand up for yourself when you've been brought up to be respectful of the very people who don't reciprocate the sentiment.

Vgal,
You can disagree with your older relatives without being disrespectful! I understand that it is difficult to stand up for yourself, even more so when among family members. But don't blame it on being polite. How can you expect them to respect you when you don't seem to respect yourself enough to think that you deserve to be treated kindly?

I'm not quite sure how to answer that. Yeah, I (suppose I) don't respect myself but that doesn't seem to stop everyone else OUTSIDE of my family from treating me with dignity and respect anyway. Maybe it's because the ones that you care most about are the ones who can hurt you the most? I don't know, but I've NEVER had an issue with respect, specifically recieving it, from anyone.

Traditionally, in a family situation women are treated with reverence irrespective of demeanor. Or so I thought....

Unfortunately I don't think it is unusual for families to treat strangers more kindly than they treat each other! Maybe it has to do with the comfort of knowing how hard it is to get tossed out of a family. When I was a child I would NEVER misbehave in public! Too embarrassing. But at home I could behave very childishly, and know that even if they got mad at me I was still a member of the family. Even so, it was still very difficult to talk "feelings" with them. But I made myself do it, if my feelings were hurt or I didn't like how I was being treated. And generally things were better if I spoke up.

That said, I know we are sometimes overly sensitive to what our family members think. My mother offered my sister a cookie once, and my sister who is severely over weight took it as a criticism as to how many cookies she had already eaten. I think my mother was just offering up the last cookie!

If your family is a typical family, my guess would be that they have no idea that they are hurting your feelings. And that if you tell them that discussions about your physical traits are hurtful to you they will stop. It is possible that they mean to be hurtful, but you don't seem to think that they are intentionally inflicting pain.

Seems to me you have to decide which is more painful, telling them to stop, or listening to the their comments!

I've always said we treat others outside our families because we know we can get away with mistreating our loved ones. I'm not saying it's right or fair, just the way it can be. I've tried as I've grown older (and hopefully more mature) to treat people with respect and kindness. Yeah, I can be just as big a B-I-T-C-H as the next guy, but I want to move beyond that. Traditional good Christian value is taught as "Love thy neighbour as you love yourself," so I want to treat others as I would like to be treated. Of course, that's most definitely not what I get.... but.

I made retorts back to my aunt(s) and my mother was also present and I've snapped back at my Nana for criticising my weight (lost or gained, she has to comment) I think obviously that might not have been the "proper" way to address these concerns. I think the over sensitivity factor could also play a role too. Good point. I'm still bowled over by the fact that my aunt called to apologise at all, so I'll be grateful for the truce. For now. I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

In my family to inflict pain, is to love

I tottally agree, it's hard to find bigger bras w/ B cups. Anyone ever see a 40 "B", I'm about 38 "B" & It's hard to find that size but I've been looking for cheap ones, normally I spend $25 to $30 but that was when I was 34 "B" & I refuse spend that much since I still have 4 months to go, plus cheap bras get streched out of shape faster.

heard that some people's breast don't grow till it's almost time to have the baby exspecially if they breast feed. But the bad is afterwards they sag.

I don't think it's so much as respecting one's self. I think it's more insecureity or wanting to not make a scene.
I hear other family members say negative things & I try not to let it get to me. Sometimes it gets the better of me depending on what kind of day I'm haveing. And sometimes I think people like to put others through a test to see what they can get away with. I was mad at my father for the way he treated my mom, & this older lady that worked with me told me that a person will only do what we allow them to get away with. At the time it didn't make sense but it does now.

I agree the ones who we love hurt us the most because they know in the end we'll still love them.