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  #1   ^
Old Wed, May-20-09, 15:41
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enomarb
hi-
I am enjoying this blog too- very interesting.

I just told someone on Monday that as much as I would love to come over for bagels, I don't eat carbs for breakfast but would love to come and bring protein. SHe said 'that's okay that you don't want to come... I'll ask someone else." sigh.
But I'm doing great and this is my body.......

I'm so sorry Eno...she is not a good friend with a reaction like that!!

Sid- if you like, your comments on the article would be welcome at their site also.
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  #2   ^
Old Wed, May-20-09, 19:58
Aeryn Aeryn is offline
Paper beats rock?!?
Posts: 828
 
Plan: Atkins! (Maintenance)
Stats: 178/147.6/145 Female 5'8"
BF:
Progress: 92%
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enomarb
hi-
I am enjoying this blog too- very interesting.

I just told someone on Monday that as much as I would love to come over for bagels, I don't eat carbs for breakfast but would love to come and bring protein. SHe said 'that's okay that you don't want to come... I'll ask someone else." sigh.
But I'm doing great and this is my body.......


That's so bizarre. So she values... what? a carb-only breakfast?...over your company?

I'd say scratch her from your potluck invite list, seriously!
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  #3   ^
Old Thu, May-21-09, 06:03
Enomarb Enomarb is offline
MAINTAINING ON CALP
Posts: 4,838
 
Plan: CALP/CAHHP
Stats: 180/125/150 Female 65 in
BF:
Progress: 183%
Location: usa
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thanks- she is a 'new friend' and I think not destined to be a real friend. I was sort of taken aback by her reply, but I think she was hurt that I didn't just jump at the invite. I thought it would be worse to not say anything and just decline, or to go and not eat. Going and eating to be 'socially correct' is no longer something I am willing to do to myself. I decided that I am more important than my idea of what the other person wants/feels.
I have been maintaining now for almost 5 years, and there are lots of people who have never seen me fat and know me as thin. So they have no idea that I live LC. It is new for me. This woman is one of those people, but she is struggling with her weight and after another person told her about my success she did ask me and I spent over an hour talking to her and giving her books and stuff (about 6 months ago). so.....
Being LC and being thin and maintaining - this is my 'normal' but it still feels like a balancing act. And I am very aware that I am just managing my underlying metabolic issues (whatever they may be!)- and this is for the long haul.
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  #4   ^
Old Thu, May-21-09, 08:09
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eno
but she is struggling with her weight and after another person told her about my success she did ask me and I spent over an hour talking to her and giving her books and stuff (about 6 months ago). so.....


That explains it Eno....now I can see why she said that. Its not about you and its all about her.

One thing that I've noticed about people who ask me about my weight loss, is that they are very excited to hear about it, at first. But when they realize just how much hard work and focus losing weight requires, they tend to fold. Then I become a symbol of something that they feel they've failed at and my presence itself, is a reminder for them.

I think it is very important that successful maintainers discuss these issues with each other because who else knows what we go through?
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  #5   ^
Old Fri, May-22-09, 09:37
Demi's Avatar
Demi Demi is offline
Posts: 26,939
 
Plan: Muscle Centric
Stats: 238/153/160 Female 5'10"
BF:
Progress: 109%
Location: UK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Judynyc
One thing that I've noticed about people who ask me about my weight loss, is that they are very excited to hear about it, at first. But when they realize just how much hard work and focus losing weight requires, they tend to fold. Then I become a symbol of something that they feel they've failed at and my presence itself, is a reminder for them.

I think it is very important that successful maintainers discuss these issues with each other because who else knows what we go through?
Yes, that's something I've noticed too! So many people tend to look for the quick fix, and really have no idea exactly what it takes to successfully lose. I also don't think they realise just how much hard work and focus is required to maintaining that weight loss either.
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  #6   ^
Old Fri, May-22-09, 09:38
Demi's Avatar
Demi Demi is offline
Posts: 26,939
 
Plan: Muscle Centric
Stats: 238/153/160 Female 5'10"
BF:
Progress: 109%
Location: UK
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From Refuse to regain:


Quote:
May 21, 2009

The Green House Revisited

By Lynn Haraldson-Bering


As Barbara and I mark our one-year blogging anniversary, and Refuse to Regain enters its second year, I want to revisit my “Green House Philosophy.”

I liken my reduced body to the green house in which I live: a 1910s Cape Ann with pale green asbestos siding, an evergreen porch “skirt” (which we’ve since painted brown), dappled moss green shingles, and Astroturf glued to the porch and front stairs. As I wrote in my first blog, my husband and I had big plans to renovate, but the costs were too high and so we spiff up the place as we can within our means.

I thought about the ways in which I could renovate my own reduced body, worn and battered by years of stretched skin, and arthritis made worse by obesity. But the medical costs were too high and so I’ve been learning to make peace with the body I have and spiff it up as I can within my means.

In the last year, part of that spiffing up process has involved finding the right balance of exercise that doesn’t cross my pain threshold. I’ve paid closer attention to my body’s aches and knots and crunches. As I wrote recently on my website Lynn’s Weigh, gone are the days when I killed myself with cardio. Two years ago, I averaged six hours a week of cardio in addition to one to two hours of strength training. No wonder in my journal I wrote time after time, “I’m sore today.”

I never paid attention to my body the way I do now. Before I lost weight this last time, if I had a stiff muscle, I laid on the couch until it went away. Now I get curious about it. Which one is it? How can I make it stronger without hurting myself?

I’ve spent several hours gardening the last few weeks. Gardening unburies muscles like a trowel. It finds the ones I haven’t used in awhile and magnifies them. One morning last week, I woke up with stiff glutes and wrists. My exercise plan was 40 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of strength training. Rather than sucking up the pain and plowing ahead with my plans, I backed off and thought about the short-term and long-term consequences of overusing muscles that clearly were telling me they were sore. If I worked out, I not only risked further injury to my glutes and wrists, but to other muscles and body parts, too, as I subconsciously compensated for the weaker, sore muscles.

I realize this sounds simple, but it still takes deliberate, conscious thought to dislodge from my head the chatter from my fat chick, the worry wart, the tight-rope walker that tells me if I slip up even once, I’ll fall back into old habits. There are more things to consider than merely how many calories can I burn today, or rather, how many calories do I need to burn today. What I need is a body that sticks with me for the long haul, flaws and all, and it’s my job as its caretaker to listen to it.

I still believe in what I wrote last year. If I want to live in peace and enjoy its many amenities, I have to accept my body’s “greenness” and see past the skin and stretches and accept its physical limitations. Within my body is muscle and strength but also heart and soul. Where there is sadness and longing, there is also love and joy. My body is capable of empathy. It is determined.

So….is your “house” in order? How do listen to your body? As always, leave a comment. Thank you for making Refuse To Regain such a place of support, for sharing your determination and strategies for maintenance, and your new understandings as well as your past.

http://refusetoregain.com/my_weblog...-revisited.html
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  #7   ^
Old Fri, May-22-09, 09:41
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demi
Yes, that's something I've noticed too! So many people tend to look for the quick fix, and really have no idea exactly what it takes to successfully lose. I also don't think they realise just how much hard work and focus is required to maintaining that weight loss either.

Yes, exactly!!

Its the same amount of focus as losing it...we can just eat more food now.
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  #8   ^
Old Fri, May-22-09, 22:37
SidC's Avatar
SidC SidC is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,960
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 160/103/115 Female 62 inches
BF:
Progress: 127%
Location: Edmonton, AB Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by enomarb
I have been maintaining now for almost 5 years, and there are lots of people who have never seen me fat and know me as thin. So they have no idea that I live LC. It is new for me. This woman is one of those people, but she is struggling with her weight and after another person told her about my success she did ask me and I spent over an hour talking to her and giving her books and stuff (about 6 months ago). so.....
I was so sorry to hear the bagel story. But it does happen. You are a living reminder of what she has not been able to do - but it is not your problem. Sad, yes. I've hit the same thing with a dear friend. It's hard. But you have to draw the line and protect yourself.

I'm sure we've all also run up against the "oh, you don't have a weight problem! This is fantastic, surely you can have..." I almost always demur politely, but one time I lost it and got mean. I said "You know, urging that dessert on me is like urging an AA alcoholic to have a drink." We both felt terrible, but it was true.

So it is a tough road to hoe. We alienate or irritate friends, family and colleagues. Very few of them get it that it is a WOL, and that we *will* regain all of that weight if we abandon that WOL. So you have to become very selfish. After I'd lost a considerable amount of weight, my partner became my worst enemy on that front. I've "destroyed his interest in cooking." I'm very sorry about that, but on this I will not budge. (And I do all of the cooking, now.)

My sister lost almost 100 lbs on Atkins, then gained it all back because of family pressures about the meals.

So here's a question. I bet there are a lot of us who struggle to maintain because of external pressures. How to deal with that?
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  #9   ^
Old Fri, May-29-09, 00:44
GlendaRC's Avatar
GlendaRC GlendaRC is offline
Posts: 8,787
 
Plan: Atkins maintenance
Stats: 170/120/130 Female 65 inches & shrinking
BF:
Progress: 125%
Location: Victoria, BC Canada
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What a great thread! How have I missed this for so long?!! I have to disagree with the 4th answer in Demi's post - I've found that anything like "I'm tempted, but ..." invites all kinds of coaxing. I find something like "No thank you. I'm sure it's good but I don't eat (whatever)" doesn't leave an opening for argument.

Re yogurt, I've been making my own using table cream (18% BF) and it's so beautifully thick and rich I can hardly eat more than 1/4 cup at a sitting. It's great with fruit or cocoa (sweetened a tad naturally), but it's also great plain - wonderfully tart and refreshing.

I've only been maintaining for about 6 months ... well, maintaining at my current weight - before that I maintained about 15 lbs heavier for over a year - at that time I called it a stall!
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  #10   ^
Old Fri, May-29-09, 07:33
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
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Hi Glenda!
Welcome to maintenance!!
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  #11   ^
Old Fri, May-29-09, 09:03
Enomarb Enomarb is offline
MAINTAINING ON CALP
Posts: 4,838
 
Plan: CALP/CAHHP
Stats: 180/125/150 Female 65 in
BF:
Progress: 183%
Location: usa
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hi-
I've thought about this issue of social pressure, and I have to be honest. The worst social pressure is from ME. There are times I just want to be NORMAL- why can't I have the (fill in the blank)- why can't I be like other people. Sometimes I even want to prove I am normal- to myself or others. THis of course involves eating something.
What I have to do in these situations is talk to myself and just remind me that I am not normal- I cannot eat the SAD- it will make me sick. I remind myself how much healthier and happier I am eating LC- and that this is just the way it is and that I just can't go "there" anymore. Being prepared for these situations helps too- as they are predictable. Parties and restaurants are the worst- parties being number 1.
I find that making decisions before I go into those situations seems to help.
Like the post on being bored with the food choices, sometimes I think I am bored/tired/frustrated with just being me and being in my body. But them I remind myself how much much much better my body is since LC- and it does help me just move on.
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  #12   ^
Old Fri, May-29-09, 17:50
camaromom's Avatar
camaromom camaromom is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 5,280
 
Plan: Atkins/lowering cals
Stats: 187/143.6/135 Female 64
BF:35.2/ 20%/20%
Progress: 83%
Location: Lafayette, IN
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enomarb
hi-
I've thought about this issue of social pressure, and I have to be honest. The worst social pressure is from ME. There are times I just want to be NORMAL- why can't I have the (fill in the blank)- why can't I be like other people. Sometimes I even want to prove I am normal- to myself or others. THis of course involves eating something.
What I have to do in these situations is talk to myself and just remind me that I am not normal- I cannot eat the SAD- it will make me sick. I remind myself how much healthier and happier I am eating LC- and that this is just the way it is and that I just can't go "there" anymore. Being prepared for these situations helps too- as they are predictable. Parties and restaurants are the worst- parties being number 1.
I find that making decisions before I go into those situations seems to help.
Like the post on being bored with the food choices, sometimes I think I am bored/tired/frustrated with just being me and being in my body. But them I remind myself how much much much better my body is since LC- and it does help me just move on.


I thought it was only me who had these Woe is Me moments! I think why can't I just eat______? But then I realize that I'm broken and that by eating this way I'm happy and healthy and there is no need for me to eat ________.

The other thing is that I look around at the office staff where I work. Believe it or not, but I'm the smallest person in the office. I often times get harrassed about not eating bread, chips, candy etc. I've pretty much put it down to jealousy and I try to ignore it, but there are a few people who almost make it personal. The thing is all of those ladies eat out every single day for lunch. Believe me they do not order small menu items either.
Barb
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  #13   ^
Old Sat, May-30-09, 21:29
Judynyc's Avatar
Judynyc Judynyc is offline
Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
 
Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170 Female 5'6"
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by camaromom
I thought it was only me who had these Woe is Me moments! I think why can't I just eat______? But then I realize that I'm broken and that by eating this way I'm happy and healthy and there is no need for me to eat ________.

The other thing is that I look around at the office staff where I work. Believe it or not, but I'm the smallest person in the office. I often times get harrassed about not eating bread, chips, candy etc. I've pretty much put it down to jealousy and I try to ignore it, but there are a few people who almost make it personal. The thing is all of those ladies eat out every single day for lunch. Believe me they do not order small menu items either.
Barb

I have decided that I won't think of myself as "broken", as you put it Barb. There are people who can eat all the processed grain and sugar that they want and not have a weight issue...I've got a friend like that. I see it as her genetic makeup is diffferent than mine..not that I'm broken.

Being harrassed be catty women who don't get it?....ugh...I'm sorry that they are so nasty to you and not supportive. Its not like you are preaching to them to not eat all that crap!! But on some level, they know that they shouldn't be eating it either and by you not eating it with them, points this out to them.....too bad for them!
Peer pressure, especially around women, can be very difficult to deal with.
They'll get sick when they get older and you'll be a healthy woman.
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  #14   ^
Old Sun, May-31-09, 22:47
SidC's Avatar
SidC SidC is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,960
 
Plan: Atkins
Stats: 160/103/115 Female 62 inches
BF:
Progress: 127%
Location: Edmonton, AB Canada
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Demi, great post on "Keys to Success." Learning how to say no. To others, to ourselves.

I still miss pizza. And samosas, and naan, and crusty french bread. That's where I say no to myself, and I do allow the occasional indulgence with tempura and the tiniest piece of naan with an Indian dinner. I miss not being "normal," too. I have a business lunch coming up this week, and I'll have to haul my own food, as usual, because it will be sandwiches and juice. You have to get over the "Why can't I just show up and eat like everyone else?" You can't. Just like a diabetic cannot casually have chocolate cake on their birthday. There you have it.

What I don't miss is being fat and all the problems that go along with that: poor self-image, difficulty doing things I love like hiking and skiing, knee and back problems, high blood pressure, insulin resistance, and potential cardio problems, to name a few.

I'm still thinking about whether I regard myself as "broken." I am hypothyroid, so I know that my immune system is screwed up. And I don't seem to handle carbs (sugar, in particular) the way others do. I guess I do think I have a problem. But LC eating has been a good way to address it.
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  #15   ^
Old Tue, Jun-02-09, 06:24
Demi's Avatar
Demi Demi is offline
Posts: 26,939
 
Plan: Muscle Centric
Stats: 238/153/160 Female 5'10"
BF:
Progress: 109%
Location: UK
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From Refuse to Regain:

1 June, 2009

Quote:
Don’t Get Me Started

By Barbara Berkeley


For the past week or so, I’ve been reading David Kessler’s book called "The End of Overeating." Kessler is a doctor and the former director of the FDA. By his written admission, he is also a person who has had his own problems with food.

Most of the book exposes the endless effort and expense that industry devotes to creating food products that can’t be resisted. The brazen nature of this effort is pretty shocking, even to me. Kessler interviews a number of industry consultants who describe completely purposeful efforts to create “hyper-palatable” foods that will be addictive and irresistible. Doing this takes a whole lot of time, consultants, focus groups and so on. But success is worth it. Create a tastier, crunchier, fattier, sweeter food and it will be a money maker. The author himself can’t resist ordering some of these foods (just for scientific purposes of course) and describing their consumption with an almost lascivious attention to detail. There are points where this book approaches soft porn for food addicts.

The last couple of chapters of the book detail ways in which overeaters can brainwash themselves into food avoidance. After the stunning descriptions of engineered foods and their extremely attractive and addictive nature, these familiar techniques seem pretty weak. What power can our poor attempts at thought-control have over zillions of dollars spent to defeat us? Kessler advises that we plan all meals, that we limit portion sizes, eat foods that occur in nature, avoid sugars and starches, eat foods we like, mentally rehearse food situations, understand our food triggers, limit our exposure to food, disable cravings by “thought stopping” (I love this one! Have you ever figured out how to stop your thoughts???), and exercise. All of this is pretty standard stuff. Not one of us would disagree with any of it.

But what is missing from Dr. Kessler’s book is any significant outrage. Why is it that we consumers are the ones who wind up bearing the burden of control? A small section toward the end of the book suggests that “we” must learn to redefine food and the people who make it. If we change the way we look at bad foods, Kessler suggests, and start to look at them as we now look at tobacco, society can change. The problem with the comparison of food and cigarettes is that the tobacco industry has always been a miniscule force when compared to the behemoth food industry.

An article in one of this month’s medical journals echoed similar themes to those laid out in Kessler’s book. “Recently,” it states, “there has been growing support for the idea that we can train our appetites to match our energy expenditure, overcoming physiologic and environmental urges to eat.” The article then goes on to poll various obesity experts and asks, “Can human beings retrain their appetite? If so, how?”

Here are their answers:

Expert 1: We eat too much because food is pleasurable. To make something like broccoli pleasurable “you’re going to want to have broccoli in a pleasurable experience---maybe raw broccoli as you watch your favorite TV program, or when you are having dinner parties. You make small changes that, in time, can condition your appetite.”

Comment: Somehow, I don’t think that eating broccoli while watching American Idol will do much to armor someone against an entire world of hyperstimulating food.

Expert 2: “How do we prevent people from going to food? It’s quite simple: If people have no access to food, then that will retrain their appetite. But, of course, that’s not realistic. So, people have to find ways to get themselves away from food. One option is just to go to bed, if you can fall asleep. However, the best way….is to do exercise. Very strenuous exercise like jogging or running significantly cuts your appetite. I suggest that people introduce exercise at the time in their day that they think they are going to be hungry.”

Comment: Go to bed? At 11 am??? Exercise, yes. But contrary to what this expert says, exercise makes many people hungry. And how many times a day can you exercise? This solution presupposes that you’re only hungry once daily.

Expert 3: “Understand the difference between appetite and hunger. Appetite is primarily psychological; hunger, physical….Appetite can be retrained by recognizing the difference between appetite and true hunger and learning to manage our emotions in more healthful ways.”

Comment: This line of reasoning has always been completely lost on me. Hunger occurs when signals deploy in your brain which convey powerful messages to gut peptides and a variety of hormones. Your mouth waters, you get ready to eat. You feel hungry. Whether this chain is set off by food deprivation (you’re really, truly hungry) or a steaming bowl of pasta on TV (hunger stimulated by sight) it’s still hunger. For me, there is no true or false.

All of these suggestions, all of these tricks, tips and machinations are in the service of giving us strategies to battle a food giant run amok. Worse, they suggest that our own weaknesses are to blame for the problem. I am completely bewildered by the fact that the responsibility of the food industry continues to be ignored. Its role in creating our current environment is so huge, so all-encompassing, that its invisibility in this discussion is almost incomprehensible.

Articles and books (including mine) suggest myriad ways for you to do the hard work of kicking food. Clean all the food out of your house. Stay out of contact with food. Change your thoughts. Get hypnotized. Exercise until your knee cartilage falls to shreds. Get therapy. Change your stress level. Become a better person. Buy a journal and write, write, write. Record every shred of every morsel that passes your lips.

I’m not suggesting that these are bad strategies, but we need them mainly because those who produce our food have not asked to be responsible for its effects. Until society gets mad about that, nothing will change. Very few individuals (you being the exceptions, dear readers) are strong enough to oppose the mass behaviors of an entire culture.

Perhaps our little community is far more important than we believed. Like a snowball picking up size as it rolls, our tiny individual voices have the potential to become big and booming. Once we get the volume, I hope we can direct it outward. Time to stop yelling at ourselves and bemoaning our weaknesses. Time to fix our sights on those who are drowning us, our children and our nations’ health in a salty, fatty, sweet sea of food.

http://refusetoregain.com/my_weblog...me-started.html
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