Sun, Jun-14-15, 08:36
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Attitude is a Choice
Posts: 30,111
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Plan: No sugar, flour, wheat
Stats: 228.4/209.0/170
BF:stl/too/mch
Progress: 33%
Location: NYC
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Thank you for this!
teaser posted the following to another thread and wow! it really explained an aspect to me that I hadn't considered:
Quote:
However, one distinction is so helpful for habit change that I devoted an entire chapter to it: the Strategy of Abstaining.
In a nutshell: “Abstainers” do better when they resist a temptation altogether (I’m an Abstainer). “Moderators” do better when they indulge moderately.
Abstaining is a counter-intuitive and non-universal strategy. It absolutely doesn’t work for everyone. But for people like me, it’s enormously useful.
As an Abstainer, if I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself arguing:” How much can I have?”” Does this time ‘count’?” “If I had it yesterday, can I have it today?” But Abstaining ends those draining debates. I don’t feel deprived at all. If I never do something, it requires no self-control to maintain that habit.
It’s a Secret of Adulthood: By giving something up, I gain. As my sister so brilliantly phrased it, “Now I’m free from French fries.”
You’re an abstainer if you…
– have trouble stopping something once you’ve started
– aren’t tempted by things that you’ve decided are off-limits
Moderators, for their part, find that occasional indulgence both heightens their pleasure and strengthens their resolve. They may even find that keeping treats near at hand makes them less likely to indulge, because when they know they can have something, they don’t crave it.
You’re a moderator if you…
– find that occasional indulgence heightens your pleasure–and strengthens your resolve
– get panicky at the thought of “never” getting or doing something
The key is: Which way is easier for you? I know Abstaining may sound hard, but for me, it’s easier. Truly! Also, what approach allows you to avoid feeling deprived? For good habits, it’s very important not to allow ourselves to feel deprived.
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